Posted by Tengrain
March 9th, 2010

Remember how Healthcare Reform was going to be voted on last summer? Me neither! But now the plan is to vote on it March 18.
And if that fails, well, soon! Another deadline and another plan, and maybe after Harry Reid is voted out of office, another Majority Leader.
Posted in Healthcare Reform | 5 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 9th, 2010
Advertising Age tells us…
So Proximo Spirits’ Three Olives vodka took some abuse last week over its new “RangTang” flavor extension, which the marketer says signifies a concoction of orange and tangerine but Urban Dictionary says encompasses something else entirely.
Fair Warning! – the Urban Dictionary is never safe for work. Funny beyond words, but not safe for work.
(Via The Awl, which is mostly safe for work.)
Posted in Badvertising | 3 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 9th, 2010
Posted in Technology | 3 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 9th, 2010

I’ll just tell you this, if [Healthcare Reform] passes and it’s five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica.
I don’t need anymore convincing: pass the bill NOW, dammit! Thanks for sweetening the pot, Junkie Limbaugh!
(Via ThinkProgress)
Posted in Healthcare Reform, Junkie Limbaugh, Wingnuttia | 18 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 9th, 2010
“Bachelor No. 1 is a successful photographer who got his start when his father found him in the dark room at the age of 13, fully developed,” host Jim Lange said. “Between takes you might find him skydiving or motor-cycling. Please welcome Rodney Alcala.”
“Who will it be?” the host asked her at the end of the show. “I’ll take One [bachelor No. 1],” Bradshaw said, and out strolled Alcala.
Within months of his “Dating Game” appearance, Alcala would become a killer, prosecutors said, abducting and murdering a 12-year-old girl in 1979. Before the decade was over, Alcala would claim four more victims, according to testimony at his trial.
Bachelor #2 is still bitter about not being chosen and is going to whine about it on CNN tonight.
Posted in Love is a many splendored thing | 5 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 9th, 2010
Treehugger
A Toyota Prius accelerated out of control on a busy California freeway on Monday before police intervened to bring the vehicle to a standstill, police said.
We Prius drivers are an edgy lot. Don’t mess with us. Now I’m gonna go out and see what that puppy can do.
Posted in news | 6 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 9th, 2010
News you can use all day
Bakersfield prepares to welcome home their gay state senator.
Posted in snark | 2 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010

And you just know that America’s favorite nut, Noted Art Historian, Infamous Spoon Worshipper, the capitalist clown who wants security and laughs, Free-Range Conspiracy Theorist and would-be poisoner of the Speaker of the House, Local Boy Gone Loco, music impresario, A Snake-Oil Salesman’s Dim-Witted Assistant, and now advertising-free, Glenn Beck is going to ask him to talk about Rahm’s wiener for an hour.
Posted in Fox News, Wingnuttia | 8 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010

Bob Holdsworth, an expert in tectonics at Durham University, said Monday that “I can definitely tell you that the world is not coming to an end.”
Oh, Noes! Pat has a sad now!
(Salon via Gawker)
Posted in snark | 7 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010
…To get to the socialized death panels on the other side!
Everyone and his dog has sent me this story today, so I figured everyone already knew…
Posted in snark | 11 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010
…Old Jews Telling Jokes!
(This is really a keeper, I didn’t see it coming, and it made laugh like an idiot.)
Posted in snark | 2 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010

…and men despised him for his studliness!
“I’m gay,” State Senator Roy Ashburn told a radio host from his central California district in an interview this morning. “Those are the words that have been so difficult for me for so long.” …Ashburn, a divorced father of four, said that his many votes against gay rights were efforts to represent the conservative views of his constituents.
Dude won’t be going back to Tulare anytime soon, unless of course he wants to see the conservative views of his constituents up close and personal.
(Via TPM)
Posted in Civil Liberties, Wingnuttia, civil rights, marriage equality | 4 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010

I weep for your editor, SoyBlo.
Posted in People Dumber than Dolphins, Soylent Blonde, Twitter | 7 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010
Esquire
Hubba-hubba! The irresistible Sex-Beast, Congressman Eric Massa, is telling us way too much info about the ethics investigation, and blaming his “retirement” on Pelosi and President Carebear — they are getting him outta the way to pass healthcare reform!
But the man is catnip to other men, clearly. That’s what’s important to know here.
The big story is about how he came onto a staffer at a wedding after his wife left the party and he had been dancing with the bride and bridesmaids and singing his song of seduction:
One of them looked at me and as they would do after, I don’t know, 15 gin and tonics, and goodness only knows how many bottles of champagne, a staff member made an intonation to me that maybe I should be chasing after the bridesmaid and his points were clear and his words were far more colorful than that. And I grabbed the staff member sitting next to me and said, “Well, what I really ought to be doing is fracking you.” And then tousled the guy’s hair and left, went to my room, because I knew the party was getting to a point where it wasn’t right for me to be there. Now was that inappropriate of me? Absolutely. Am I guilty? Yes.
Dude, he wanted you. He wanted you bad, and when you spurned him to return to your wife in your hotel room, well all hell broke less, eh?
And if that isn’t enough for you, there was the time Rahm Emmanuel cornered the irresistible Sex-Beast in the showers! (My imagination boggles at why they would be taking a shower together.)
Rep. Massa describes a confrontation with Emanuel in a shower: “I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.”
Posted in snark | 2 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010

Mooselini turns to scripture to justify her crib note on her palm, thus giving every kid in school an excuse to cheat.
A fan, she said, had sent her a biblical passage. Isaiah 49:16 reads: “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.”
“Hey, if it was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it’s good enough for me, for us. He says, in that passage he says, I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you. And I’m like OK, I’m in good company,” Palin said to laughter.
Posted in 2012 Goat Rodeo, Mooselini | 16 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010

When the CBO says that it is bleak…
The director of the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office on Monday said the U.S. fiscal outlook is “bleak,” with a worrisome rise in debt levels looking likely.
CBO Director Douglas Elmendorf was speaking to a National Association of Business Economists conference.
Posted in Chimpy's Economic Disaster | 1 Comment »
Posted by Tengrain
March 8th, 2010
News you can use all day
BBC – Sarah Jessica Parker chose a cunning outfit for the Oscars
Posted in news | 4 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 7th, 2010
“…is over at BATOCCHIO’s place, the Vagabond Scholar.”
I understand that there might be some drinks served by now, too. Also.
Posted in snark | 5 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 7th, 2010
Scissorheads –
We’ve upgraded to the latest install of WordPress today! Let me know if you have any problems viewing/commenting/linking etc., by sending an email to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com.
And, yes, I’m looking at extensions to the comment sofware that will allow you to edit your comments after submitting. See, I listen to you…
Regards,
The Management
Posted in blogging | 16 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 7th, 2010
I like the way the news reader flees the scene. That so totally would be Gregory.
(Via BuzzFeed)
Posted in media | 6 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 7th, 2010
We need to find the 1960s-era Buffy and celebrate her!
Karl Rove’s partisan bloodlust flowered early. At age 9 — and already a political nerd — he became a spirited supporter of Richard Nixon in the 1960 presidential smackdown against John F. Kennedy. So intense was his devotion that he landed a coveted Nixon bumper sticker and displayed it proudly on his bicycle basket — until a little girl in his neighborhood who favored JFK beat the stuffing out of him, bloodying his nose and ego.
(Washington Post)
Posted in Turdblossom | 10 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 7th, 2010
News you can use all day
What the stars will wear on the red carpet tonight!
- Local tradeshow not expecting big-name players - Only three out of 10 films in best picture category at this year’s Academy Awards have big-name leads. (There is nothing like watching self-serving egoists give themselves awards, and long, long self-congratulatory speeches.)
- No TARP in Iceland - Iceland votes ‘no’ to debt deal for collapsed bank. According to results released Sunday, just over 93 percent of voters said “no” in Saturday’s ballot. The overwhelming margin reflects Icelanders’ simmering anger at bankers and politicians as the island nation struggles to recover from a financial meltdown. Some Icelanders set off fireworks in the center of the capital, Reykjavik, as the referendum results were announced.
- Stimulus funds to pay for laughing at your junk - Yup, Bay Area cities used stimulus funds to buy full-body scanners for their pervy airports. “The machines, which cost $130,000 to $170,000 each, will be installed this summer, said Dwayne Baird, a spokesman for the Transportation Safety Administration.” (Gotta do something for the three or so unemployed pervy would-be operators of those porn machines.)
Posted in snark | 5 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010
Folks -
In honor of Jon Swift (RIP Al, I still cannot believe you are gone), I thought that I would do the monthly blogroll post this weekend.
What’s that, you say?
It’s where we at Mock, Paper, Scissors say thank you to all of the wonderful people who come by and visit every now and then. While I try to visit every blog on the list, some months it just doesn’t happen, so I like to link to everyone at least once a month.
Why’s that, you say?
Because everyone likes getting a link. It improves your Technorati ranking, and The Google considers websites that get linked to be more valuable than those that don’t. This gives all of your blogs a boost in the ratings. It does NOT give MPS anything, except for the pleasure of knowing we are helping all of our buddies.
So, without further ado, thank you for all your support and stopping by to spend some time here with the Scissorheads. If I left anyone out, it was an honest mistake! Please leave a note in the comments, and I will get it fixed for next month. And remember, I always liked you best.
- Beliefnet
- Contextual Criticism
- Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes
- One Pissed-off Veteran
- The Friendly Atheist
- Un*enslaved*
- A Line Drive Up the Middle
- Beautiful Day Rule
- I Painted My Fridge Red
- Just Add Wonder
- Little Bang Theory
- Love At Home
- Tales of an Obsessive Man
- That’s Why
- The Coffee Messiah
- There will be bread
- Thorne’s World
- When will I use this
- White Dogs
- Wyld’s Q & A
- A bit conciliatory
- AgitProp
- An Earth-bound Misfit
- Bill Fisher
- Blah3
- Blue Gal
- Border Explorer
- Brendan Calling
- Buelahman’s Redstate Revolt
- BuzzFlash
- California Dreamin’
- Canada, eh?
- Cap’n Dyke, Pirate Queen
- Capitol Hill Blues
- Chef loves beer
- Cheyanne’s Campsite
- Clusterf*** Nation
- Comrade Kevin’s Chrestomathy
- d r i f t g l a s s
- D.R. Scott's Pulp Culture
- Dave’s Daily Dump
- Dean Wormer
- Demeur
- Despite Logic
- Disaffected and it Feels So Good
- Distributor Cap NY
- Fighting Liberals
- Fitness for the Occasion
- FranIAM
- Freidabee
- Fried Green al-Qaedas
- From the Left
- Gadflying
- Galt Gone Wild
- Godless Liberal Homo
- Hill’s Country
- House of the Rising Sons
- I Am TRex
- Impeach the Mother Fucker Already
- Impeachment and other dreams
- Intrepid Flame
- Iranianredneck's Weblog
- Its my Right to be Left of the Center
- Jay Midnight
- Joe the Philospher
- John McSame 4 President
- Jon Swift’s place
- Journeys with Jood
- Just Go Stand Over There Somewhere…
- Just go stand over there somewhere…
- Just Peace Now
- Kelly, the little black dog
- Las Vegas
- Last Exit Before Hooterville
- Late for the sky
- Left in a Boite
- Liberality
- Liberty Street
- Life’s Journey
- Luminous Ether
- Mad Kane's Political Madness
- Mallard Fillmore’s Bathtub
- Mauigirl’s Meanderings
- Media Crashers
- Media Needle
- Monkeyfister
- Moon Rays
- My 2 Cents
- My Liberal Agenda
- My Saturday Eveing Post
- NTodd’s Place
- OKJimm's eggroll emporium
- Old & N the Way
- Ornery Bastard
- Outside the Interzone
- padre mickey’s dance party
- Political Graffiti
- Political Teen Tidbits
- Politics Plus
- preserve, protect and defend
- Pygalgia
- Ragebot!
- Ramblings of a Madwoman
- Raw Dog Buffalo
- Rawrahs
- Realitology
- Reconstitution 2.0
- Relaxed Politics
- Retzilian Rendezvous
- Revolutionary Act
- Salmon Alley
- Satanists for Huckabee
- Sharkey’s Goat Shack
- South Carolina
- Southern Female Lawyer
- Sprawling Ramshackle Compound
- Stringer
- Suzi Riot
- Symbols of Decay
- The Adventures of SnuffDoggyDog
- The Big Empty
- The Burning Taper
- The Fluffington Post
- The Future Was Yesterday
- The Galloping Beaver
- The Gaytheist Agenda
- The Great Endarkenment
- The Largest Minority
- The Loonatyk Sisters Own Private Assylum
- The Neural Gourmet
- The old hippies groovy blog
- The Omnipotent Poohbah
- The Public Intellectual
- the quaker agitator
- The Sermonette
- The Siren’s Chronicles
- The Underground Radical
- The White House Plumber
- This Modern World
- Three Sticks
- Tilly Screams
- Tome of the Unknown Writer
- Under the Lobsterscope
- Unsolved: Mr. E’s Blog Stump
- Urban Hellhole
- Utah Savage
- Vagabond Scholar
- Walk of the fallen
- Wampum
- Watergate Summer
- Welcome Back to Pottersville
- Welcome to Potterville 2
- Yikes!
- Zen Cabin
- Best Week Ever
- Boxer Rebellion
- Cat in the Bag
- Coffee, Milk, Toast, & Jam
- Electronic Cerebretomy
- Evil Slutopia
- Exit, Pursued by a bear
- I, Splotchy
- L'ennui Mélodieux
- Lotsa 'Splainin' 2 do
- Midnight \Noise
- Ribbed for Your Pleasure
- The Eclectic Witch
- Travelling through time and space
- Zaius Nation
- All Hat and No Cattle
- All the way from Oy to Vey
- Badtux, the Snarky Penguin
- Blast Off!
- Capitol Punishment
- Commaner Other’s Otherwhirled
- Dark Black
- Dependable Renegade
- Drinking Liberally in New Milford
- Dubya Speak
- EDITORIALS FROM HELL’S LEADING DAILY NEWSPAPER
- GLH Playground
- Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes
- I can’t believe it’s not a democracy
- I was just wondering
- Impeachment and other dreams
- It's News 2 Them
- Jesus' General
- Jones Town
- Les Enragés.org
- Live! Rude! Girl!
- Monkey Muck
- Nailing Jello to the Wall
- Namaste
- Notions Capital
- Onward, Christian Dullards
- Proud2bHumble
- Que Sera Sara
- Rants from the Rookery
- Rising Hegemon
- Scarabus
- Seeds of Doubt
- Sorghum Crow’s General Store
- Stu Blue
- The Aristocrats
- The Grumbling Dragon
- The Illiterate Electorate
- The Liberal Journal
- Wee Mousie’s Cinema Burlesque
- Wolcott
- You are hated
- Zen Comix
Posted in Blogroll Amnesty Day, blogging | 10 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010
(From the Washington Post, about how AIG employees feel about being asked to not accept their bonuses, voluntarily… anyway, one unidentified AIGer lets ‘er rip:)
“To be honest with you, I really hope it blows up. I think the U.S. taxpayer deserves to lose a trillion dollars over this thing for the way they have behaved.” …And then he turned on politicians who had joined the anti-AIG posse. “They only care about the next election, just like we only care about the next bonus. Well, none of them cares about the country, none of us cares about the institution,” he said, adding: “They really don’t care, and I really don’t care. And frankly, if a trillion dollars gets lost, fine.”
OK, big boy. If you think that you are such hot stuff and deserve a multi-million dollar bonus and retention package, then shop your resume around and see who wants to hire you. Because talent like yours, destroying the global economy and bringing ruin to your company is probably exactly what most firms are looking for in an employee.
(Via Rising Hegemon.)
Posted in CEO Bastards, Chimpy's Economic Disaster | 7 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010

If only he were forgotten.
(Hat tip: Soylent Blonde)
Posted in Grandpa Walnuts, Soylent Blonde | 2 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010

In a potential reversal, White House advisers are close to recommending that President Barack Obama opt for military tribunals for self-professed Sept. 11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed and four of his alleged henchman, senior officials said.
Attorney General Eric Holder decided in November to transfer Mohammed and the four other accused terrorists from the prison at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to New York City for civilian trials. That was initially supported by city officials, but was later opposed because of costs, security and logistical concerns.
“If this stunning reversal comes to pass, President Obama will deal a death blow to his own Justice Department, not to mention American values,” said American Civil Liberties Union Anthony D. Romero. “Even with recent improvements, the military commissions system is incapable of handling complicated terrorism cases and achieving reliable results. President Obama must not cave in to political pressure and fear-mongering. He should hold firm and keep these prosecutions in federal court, where they belong.”
The Carebear has said repeatedly that he views civilian trials for terrorists shows the U.S. belief in the rule of law. We have successfully prosecuted numerous terrorism trials already in U.S. courts. So why would this trial be any different? Because the White House (as usual) is caving to political pressure from the GOP, and more likely from the DLC (same thing).
I won’t be a bit surprised if Attorney General Holder resigns over this; he’s one of the few high-level appointees that I have any confidence in, and he is being undermind by The Carebear at every turn. It would be a shame to lose him.
Posted in Chimpy's Great Adventure, Politics, The Carebear | 1 Comment »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010
More fallout from the GOP fundraising training that depicted Obama as The Joker, said to rile up the base with fears of socialism, and to stroke the egos of big donors with tchotkes.
The teabaggers are upset that the GOP is playing them like a violin:
“Can they be any more insulting? I guess they could have called us teabaggers, but Holy Cow, I’m so blown away by the whole thing I’m just sitting here stunned,” Phillips said, according to a report by the Daily Beast’s Benjamin Sarlin.
Michael Steele is blaming the 72-page presentation on some unidentified staffer – but bear in mind that the presentation was delivered by RNC Finance Director Rob Bickhart to top donors and fundraisers at a party retreat in Boca Grande, Florida on February 18.
The RNC has since scrambled to distance itself from the document. Michael Steele, who spokespeople have said had nothing to do with the presentation itself, appeared on Fox News Thursday to try to make amends.
“Certainly we love our donors and we thank them for the support that they’ve given us over the past year, and continue to give us,” Steele said. “Our donors are compassionate, concerned activists out there who support a party that they believe in. And we want that to continue.”
The gang that couldn’t shoot straight is somehow gaining on the Dims? oy! (As Tex would say.)
Posted in Wingnuttia | 3 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010
They’ve found another black man in the White House!
(Fair warning! The link takes you to the Weekly Standard.)
Posted in snark | 2 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010
Artist’s rendition of Roy Ashburn at DUI arrest
Remember earlier in the week, a homophobic family-values California State Senator was arrested for a DUI after leaving a gay club? Me neither! Well here’s an update or two about the hypocritical anti-gay senator who was being gay at a gay bar before being arrested for driving under the influence after leaving a gay bar:
I would have thought he stood out in this crowd, but whatevs:
The owner of Faces, the club where Ashburn reportedly was hanging out before his arrest, told CBS 13 that he can’t confirm whether Ashburn was there Tuesday night because the club was packed with 400 patrons for a Latin drag queen beauty pageant.
TPM looks at his anti-gay voting record:
Said Equality California director Geoff Kors in an interview with TPMmuckraker: “He has voted against every LGBT rights bill that’s been introduced in California since he’s been in the office.”
In other developments:
- Ashburn has taken a “personal leave” from the state Senate, his spokesman says.
- The Bakersfield Californian, Ashburn’s home newspaper, had asked him twice about his sexuality in the past several years. After hearing a rumor that Ashburn was going to be outed by another newspaper, a columnist for the paper asked Ashburn last year if he is gay. Ashburn replied: “Why would that be anyone’s business?”
- Ashburn’s blood alcohol level was .14 when he was picked up by police, according to the Sacramento DA. The legal limit is .08.
Posted in Family Values, Wingnuttia | 9 Comments »
Posted by Tengrain
March 6th, 2010
News you can use all day
Have you seen the White House dog lately?
- The earth farts in our general direction - Large amounts of a powerful greenhouse gas are bubbling up from a long-frozen seabed north of Siberia, raising fears of far bigger leaks that could stoke global warming, scientists said.
- Overdrawn? - Regulators on Friday shuttered banks in Florida, Illinois, Maryland and Utah, boosting to 26 the number of bank failures in the U.S. so far this year following the 140 brought down in 2009 by mounting loan defaults and the recession.
- We don’t care, we don’t have to. We’re Microsoft! - Microsoft Corp. has said its new software for smart phones, Windows Phone 7 series, is a “clean break” with the past. Now it’s clear just how clean that break is: The new phones, expected late this year, won’t run any applications written for older versions of Microsoft’s phone software.
Posted in news | 1 Comment »