Mock, Paper, Scissors

I don’t get it. These pants attract beautiful, short women?

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Amazing how Frothy knows these things.

In the NROHQ kitchen just now, Charlie Cooke wondered aloud, and here I paraphrase: “Does anyone on the Left even ask the basic question of whether a private charitable organization has the right to dispose of its money as it sees fit?”

(The Blog at Poo Corner, the most intellectually dishonest rest stop on the information superhiway)

You’re not entitled “to special treatment under the law…[Marriage is] not a right, it’s something that has existed since the beginning of human history as an institution where men and women come together for the purposes of forming a natural relationship as God made it to be. And for the purposes of having children and continuing that civilization. It is an intrinsic good…And as a result of that, we extend a privilege. We extend certain privileges to people who do that because we want to encourage that behavior. [...]

Two people who may like each other or may love each other who are same-sex, is that a special relationship? Yes it is, but it is not the same relationship that benefits society like a marriage between a man and a woman.

–Frothy Santorum to a gay member of his audience

Impeccable Timing

The Daily What

February is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so what better way to celebrate life than with a Susan G. Komen for the Cure foundation special pink “Hope Edition” of the Walther P22 semi-automatic pistol.

Now go out and kill something.

(The Daily What via Watertiger)

“There’s a lot of stars in your record.” What kind of kiss-ass interview is this?

Indeed. As Chimpy McStagger’s budget director, I would bet that a lot of his record has a star on it.

News you can use all day

• Lobbyists - The Netflix-style decision maker of charitable foundations Komen fired its Democratic lobbyist before hiring GOP theocrat forced-birther Karen Handel. (Raw Story)
• Goodbyes - Three top officials from Komen have resigned following the bone-headed decision to defund Planned Parenthood. Additionally, all seven of the California affiliates have separated from the national organization, as well as many in other states. Fundamentally (in Noot-speak), it was a bloodbath. (Raw Story)
• Victory! - Notorious for-profit charity Komen declares defeat and will continue to fully fund Planned Parenthood breast cancer screenings. They also plan to clarify their rules about not funding other organizations that they must not be under criminal investigation, not political investigation. Anyway, the full statement is at: (TPM)

…and sometimes you are the sheep.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Dimitrios)

On the bright side, I bet her stalking hobby is on the upswing.

News that will drive you to drink

• Endorsements- helmet-haired 1%er with magic panties Willard received the much coveted endorsement of short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump. And Politico thought it was going to staff-banging serial adulterer Newticles. Go figure. (The Ticket)
• Endorsements - Second Amendment remedy-seeking Nevadan crazy person Sharon Angle has endorsed fellow theocrat and frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum. (Politico)
• Compassionate Conservatism Frothy-style - Theocrat Rick Santorum has seen the dark side and lives to tell us all about God’s love and how the markets will save us. A member of his audience who wanted to know how her child’s $1Million per year medical costs can be justified. After some strange remarks about how people buy iPads but expect healthcare to be free, Frothy says:
  

  “He’s alive today because drug companies provide care. And if they didn’t think they could make money providing that drug, that drug wouldn’t be here. I sympathize with these compassionate cases. … I want your son to stay alive on much-needed drugs. Fact is, we need companies to have incentives to make drugs. If they don’t have incentives, they won’t make those drugs. We either believe in markets or we don’t.”

  (ABC)

And as you watch this, remember that Komen is essentially a for-profit organization that is wrapped in a charitable cause thus granting them tax exempt status. Think of all the retail that they do, how they protect their trademarks and how seriously they take their branding. And then ask yourself what do they really contribute to the cause? What is their value-add (as we say in Silicon Valley).

Komen is a Remora, and Ambassador Brinker should be ashamed of herself.

Word started leaking out in Las Vegas earlier that Donald Trump’s “major announcement” is to back Newt Gingrich, and sources supporting the former House Speaker confirmed to POLITICO that was the case. The New York Times and the Associated Press, among others, also reported the news on their own confirmation.

When dealing with staff-banging serial adulterers, The Donald certainly identifies with Newticles. But I think that was a spurt, not a leak.

(Politico)

“Why should someone who has worked and accumulated some equity and is investing that in American businesses no longer be able to do that when they’re elected to public office?”

–Sen. Jon Kyl (Ariz.), the second-ranking Senate Republican leader arguing that he should be allowed insider trading.

News you can use all day

“Plugging in my electric car is a pain in the ass.”

• Endorsements - Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump has run the numbers and realizes his grift is up, so today he will endorse a candidate in the 2012 Goat Rodeo. Will it be Willard or Newticles? Who cares! (Politico)
• When in Rome - Is anyone surprised that the decision to shut down adoption agencies rather than allow same-sex couples from adopting children is mandated from Benny-the-Rat’s Vatican itself? (Gay City News)
• You asked for it - Hey guys, remember that time when all of Wingnuttia was holding all of the US hostage over deficits and caused a financial downgrade? Me Neither!, but anyway you may recall that the Wingnuts demanded that if a deal was not reached (and it wasn’t) that then there would be devastating cuts across the board for both Entitlement Programs and Defense spending. Now Wingnuts are trying to pass legislation to, well, have a do-over on that Defense spending cut part. Instead, they argue reasonably, let’s fire Public Employees! Win-Win! (The Hill)

Some facts about Mitt’s disdain for the poor:
50% of the US Households make under $50,000
14% of the US lives in POVERTY – 12% of Whites, 26% of Blacks
Top 2% of the US Households control over $10 trillion dollars in Net Worth

the 10 states with the most amount of poor households are ALL STATES VOTE REPUBLICAN
West Virginia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, Alabama, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Montana, South Carolina, Louisiana

Double Header

Yeah.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)

Game, set, and match.

News that will drive you to drink

• Casting call- It was only a matter of time before staff-banging serial adulterer Newticles would go off the deep end: “But you asked me if I had anyone who could play me in a movie. Why not go for Brad Pitt???” (Raw Story)
• Endorsements? - Theocrat and successful baby mill operator One-L wants to put to rest the scurrilous rumors that she has endorsed Willard: “Let me be absolutely clear – there are absolutely no negotiations between me and the Romney campaign regarding any pending endorsement of Governor Romney.” The trouble is, of course, no one asked her that except for the little voices in her head. (Boston.com)
• Everyone is out to get your child - Sweet Baby Jeebus in a white van, what the hell is up with the Wingnuts who think their little drooling jughead porkers children are about to be molested by everyone in the known world? Oh. Dr. Dobson has been speaking to them again. (Family Talk)

The Narcissus Borealis gets the star treatment she so richly deserves.

Today, the inbox at MPS has been not exactly flooded, but has had some reaction to the snarky news item from last night. To recap, the pink-washing* enterprise known as the Susan G. Komen For The Cure has defunded and separated itself from Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood probably provides more breast cancer screenings than anyone, and certainly more to under-served communities who are much more likely to need their services. The so-called bad side of town almost always is where the environmental hazards that correlate highly with breast cancer also resides. Go figure that the rich part of town is rarely on top of a superfund cleanup site.

But I digress…

It seems that an anti-choice woman named Karen Handel–who is the failed candidate for 2010 Georgia governor’s mansion who ran on the promise to defund Planned Parenthood–is the Komen’s vice president for public policy. How this came about we can only speculate. Anyway, to make a not too fine a point, she is the person who made the decision to de-partner with Planned Parenthood, saying that Planned Parenthood no longer “best meets the needs of women [Komen] serve.” So funding breast exams with Planned Parenthood no longer meets their goals. Wait… what?!

It is rather amazing to watch an organization with a noble goal publicly commit ritual Seppuku. This strange moment also should be an object lesson for those squishy liberals who strive to find common ground with those who would destroy us (and then eat our livers with fava beans and a nice Chianti). There is no common ground, quit trying to find it.

The point here is that the fundamentalist forced-birth crowd are single-issue wingnuts. They would rather see a woman die of breast cancer than have her live to maybe need contraception or (gasp!) a Karen Santorum-style life-saving abortion. They cannot demand an abortion if they are already dead. Problem solved.

We’ve long been supporters of Planned Parenthood here at Tengrain’s Little Hut, and I’ve written about my Planned Parenthood story several times. We’ve never been a supporter of Komen’s, well, anything. We believe firmly that if you want to donate to any charity, knock yourself out. That said, we believe even more firmly in donating directly to that charity and not through umbrella organizations like Komen, Avon Walk, Ride for AIDS, and even the United Way. Give to your charity of choice directly, they will get more of the money without having anything skimmed of the top for Administration. Komen, for instance, skims about 25% off the top. That $10 bucks you raised was actually only $7.50.

(Full disclosure: my mother died of ovarian cancer. She lived for six weeks after being diagnosed. During that time she was bombarded with (Komen?) pink crap, and it only served to make her even more furious that she was being told to cheer up. She found Barbara Ehrenreich’s Welcome to Cancerland in the November 2001 Harper’s Bazar to be essential reading.)

PS – Scissorheads, encourage all the women in your lives have a breast examination. Just do it. It’s not a snarky joke, it can save a life especially if there is a lump found early. And gents, this can also happen to us, along with the prostate exam we need to be aware that we are not immune from breast cancer. Make an appointment today. Just do it.

*About Pink Washing: it is a term that is similar to green washing. It gives public relations cover to corporate donors. So let’s say Company X lets their employees raise funds via Komen and then Company X gets a press release out saying that they raised $X for The Cure. Except that they didn’t. The employees did. Company X almost never matches or donates. Check the shareholders meeting minutes, or the annual report.

Yup, this ought to do it. Now, what about the paste-eaters?

(Low bow and sweeping flourish of the hat: Scissorhead Mike Flugennock)

from here:

Oh, and my son has a wicked sense of humor. I swear, I didn’t even know Tengrain 18 yrs ago!

With his victory in Florida last night, Willard now will be receiving a Secret Service detail. For 3 points towards your final grade, tell us Willard’s Secret Service Name!

News you can use all day

• It’s Good To Be King - Magic panties enthusiast Willard takes an unusual tactic in his first interview after his decisive win in Florida: “I’m not concerned about the very poor.” (TPM)
• IOKIYAR update - Hey guys, you know how Wingnuttia is always carving out exceptions, like Frothy Santorum gives his wife a pass to have an abortion to save her life, but you cannot? Me Neither!, but anyway, Laura Bradford, a Republican lady legislator in Colorado, claims immunity after being pulled over with a DUI. It must be great to be a Republican! (Raw Story)
• Failing at Winning - OK, so Willard took Noot to the hoop last night, but when you look at the numbers far fewer people voted for the Magic Panties than voted for Grandpa Walnuts back in 2008. Enthusiasm gap? (TPM)

Announcing a new feature: Never Laid Again which celebrates bad decisions, questionable taste, turn-offs, and other assorted reasons that someone might want to look back upon to determine why they never got laid again.

Send your tips to Tengrain AT Mockpaperscissors DOT com. Be sure to put Never Laid Again in the subject line!

Dr. Niblett will cure you of brain-fag? Oh, Marcus!

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

News that will drive you to drink

• Noot dogwhistles! -
  

  “I think we need to have a government that respects our religions,” he added. “I’m a little bit tired of being lectured about respecting every other religion on the planet. I’d like him to respect our religion.”

  (Raw Story)

• Pink Washing - Notable fraud Race for the Cure under pressure from the Xristian Xrazies dumped Planned Parenthood, who do more breast cancer screening than anyone. So is Planned Parenthood the new ACORN? (Yes.) (Americablog)
• Always been at war with East Asia - Laughable turtle impersonator Chinless Mitch says, “In fact, [Obama has] been in office three years. He got everything he wanted from a completely compliant congress for two of those three years.” (Maddowblog)

Just sayin’.

I’m glad it was not a sequal, but jeepers, what a sucky commercial.

…the all-new Callista-o-Matic!

(What will they think of next?)

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)