News Briefs

News you can use all day

(AFP) Whiter than White, Cavefish Grandpa Walnuts White!

  • REO Speedwagon cover band enthusiast and drop-out billionaire Jon Huntsman is expected to ride his bike into the 2012 Goat Rodeo today. We hear it has a cool banana seat and gooseneck handlebars! (The Ticket)
  • Angry guy 2008 Goat Rodeo veteran and torture survivor Grandpa Walnuts says that he is not running for the 2012 Goat Rodeo nomination: “There’s a long history of masochism in my family, but not so severe.” (AP)
  • Stealing the news cycle effortlessly, Grandpa Walnuts continues to stand by his accusation that illegal immigrants are starting wildfires in his beloved desert kingdom and wasteland, Arizonastan. (AP)

–Tengrain

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 21st, 2011 at 6:52 am by Tengrain and is filed under snark. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Response to “News Briefs”

  1. Badtux: June 21st, 2011 at 7:35 am

    In other news, Grampa Walnuts stood out on his front porch in his bathrobe and yelled “You illegal immigrants get off my lawn!” but then realized that they were actually his lawn service and said “Ooops” and went back inside.

    - Badtux the Snarky Penguin