Happy Hour News Briefs
News that will drive you to drink
Sounds like Junkie Limbaugh has some competition in the outrage department.
- Cuckolded husband is f***ed again! - Infamous momma’s boy, big-haired, Jeebus-loving adulterer and all around GOP sex-lizard, the sheep with a secret sorrow, Senator John Ensign first had an affair with Doug Hampton’s wife, then Ensign tried to pay him off (“Help me, Mommie!”), and then tried to find employment for the entire family, including the teenage son (and that must have been a fun convo to have around the breakfast table, “well Son, you’re mother’s a slut, but you have a job now thanks to the guy who she shagged!”) — and now Hampton is broke and about to be grilled on breaking lobbying laws. Meanwhile, disgraced GOP sex lizard John Ensign is sitting in Nevada with his family’s casino millions. There are no winners here, least of all the rest of us. (TPM)
- Serious Heart Condition - Speaking of Senator’s sex lives, skeevy Breck-shampoo spokesmodel and Dave Matthews fanboy John Edwards is in the news. He cannot stand trial because of a “serious heart condition,” which seems odd because he clearly has no heart, no soul, and no chance of evading his campaign finance law accusations. (Raw Story)
- Dumb-dum rides again! - Notable theocrat secessionist dim bulb Rick Perry finally stated the three departments of the federal government he would eliminate! The problem is, they are not the three in his stump speech. Governor Goodhair is a national treasure, and we must keep him on the campaign trail. (Mediaite)
Drop Trow?
Dana is gonna drop trou?
Damn, that woman gits me exxxcited!
Stay proud, Cheney News Network.
~
We won in the Ensign case because he’s out of the Senate. The honor of the Senate has been restored. Yeah, I know…
i finally figured out why aliens wont invade earth – they realize this planet is completely insane
I realize that pissing on the body of an enemy is just good clean fun to many of these super patriots, but there are a number of reasons why this particular bit of tomfoolery was a truly bad idea.
First, desecration of the dead is considered a dishonorable deed, even for civilians, no matter who the dead was in life. Secondly, it is a breach of the Geneva Convention. (Of course, so is torturing prisoners, so maybe we can see from where their contempt of humanity stems.) Thirdly, pissing on enemy dead would be considered bad conduct according to the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Fourthly, it will (rightly so) infuriate all Islamists, and be a powerful recruiting tool for the enemy for years to come.
And finally, like the recent case involving James O’Keefe, this action demonstrates the abject stupidity of anyone filming themselves while breaking the law, compounded by not managing to destroy the tape at a later (and hopefully more thoughtful) time, and finally, allowing the video to escape into the general public on YouTube.
Forget about the Military Code of Honor, the Geneva Convention, and even every day ordinary humane good taste, these fellows couldn’t be dumber if they had tried to enter into competition for the Darwin Awards.
Damn, that sounds like some wicked-assed shit, there… which begs one question: why is there no Real Housewives Of Capitol Hill? Bravo’s missing a bet, if you ask me.
O’Keefe didn’t allow that video to escape to YouTube; he willingly posted it there himself with pride… which was so goddamn’ bone stupid that it broke the Stupid Meter™.