Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

  • (CPAC) Killer material, dude.

  • (TPM) CPAC in 100 seconds

  • (Think Progress) Fat Tony loves the Soviet’s constitution more than ours.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 9th, 2012 at 5:17 pm by Tengrain and is filed under snark. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

11 Responses to “Happy Hour News Briefs”

  1. Mr DeBakey: February 9th, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    My Framer says “This wall ain’t plumb”

  2. Another Kiwi: February 9th, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    That, ah, comedian is, ah, as funny than a very drunk student complaining about bad grades.

  3. Reamus: February 9th, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    Kiwi he isn’t even that funny. If that joke had a point, I never heard it. I think Mitch McConnell is funnier and that is very sad.

  4. Matty Boy: February 9th, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    The comedian isn’t afraid of stealing material. The metal dashboard joke is Leno circa mid 1980s.

  5. Dimitrios: February 9th, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    1). Conservatives just love Darwinian theory at work in everyone’s life but their own, which is odd, seeing how they reject the validity of Darwin’s theory.

    2). “No one likes to hang out with people who are negative,” they’d much rather pal around with people who run their grandchildren into debt “winning”unnecessary wars against insignificant countries and transferring wealth to large corporations while hating the gays and waiting for Jeebus.

    3). The Soviets loved their Constitution so much that even after all avenues of emigration to the west were cut off, 5,000 Soviet citizens attempted to escape over the nearly-impenetrable Berlin Wall between 1961 and 1989, causing it to be rebuilt higher and stronger three separate times.

  6. tina: February 9th, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    It’s pretty sad that our country is falling apart not because of true debate but because of marketing (my guy Mike).

  7. nycedges: February 9th, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    bad comic + Chinless + Cain = old SNL skit:
    You’ve just had a heavy session of electroshock therapy… All those childhood traumas magically wiped away, along with most of your personality. Now is the time, time for Spud.
    Spud, the beer brewed for people who can’t taste the difference.

  8. Count Typo: February 10th, 2012 at 3:20 am

    When you look at the range of possible post-November 2012 scenarios, maybe the whole “Death Panel” idea is worth another look. At least think about it…

  9. ebonkrieg: February 10th, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    I have never been so optimistic in my pessimism until now.
    This too will pass.
    Please, dear media, tell me who you want to have a beer with now.
    I’m foregoing my ale for straight ethanol shots and maybe after a few dozen I will begin to understand…

  10. Bruce388: February 10th, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Guess they got that “comedian” because Leno was booked.

  11. vlad the inhaler: February 11th, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Obviously, not all the “bad drivers” were weeded out. Paging Mrs. Laura Bush…