Happy Hour News Briefs
News that will drive you to drink
Satan walks amongst us!
- Bats*** Crazy - The latest poll shows that 43% of registered mouth-breathing paste-eaters want The Death March with Cocktails, er, GOP convention to be brokered. I guess that is shorthand for still hating Willard? Yes. (CNN Poll — fair warning: it’s a PDF)
- 100th Anniversaries - No, not of Phyllis Schlafly’s hair-do, but of the sinking of the Titanic! And where better to celebrate a watery death than Branson Missouri, home of sturdy Rockette Wannabes, ’80s second-tier comedians (Yakoff Smirnoff, anyone?), and endless buffets of fried bits:
Doug Phillips founded the Christian Boy’s and Men’s Titanic Society in 1997, and each year the society hosts a gathering on the anniversary of Titanic’s sinking to commemorate the legacy of male chivalry demonstrated on board the ship when the great ocean liner foundered. The society stands for the proposition that the strong must sacrifice for the weak, that greater love has no man than he lay down his life for another, and that the doctrine of “women and children first” must be preserved.
- The Children’s Crusade Redux - One of the golden nuggets found in the cynical NOM strategy document is that they proposed “to hire a staff member at $50,000 a year “to identify children of gay parents willing to speak on camera.” Um, looks like they never found the victims that they so needed to complain about their gay parents. (Right Wing Watch)
Hmmm, isn’t that “women and children first” gathering kind of pointless and silly if they aren’t meeting on a sinking ship and putting their motto to test? I mean, otherwise what’s the point? It reminds me of the obsequious Senator, who claimed he prayed to the Gods and even offered his own life that Caligula would survive from a brain hemorrhage, only to have the recovered Caligula tell him how touched he was by the sentiment and that the Senator better hurry up and give the Gods what was promised, or else.
I felt silly and uniformed watching that clip – who the fuck is Kirk Cameron and what is “Monumental”?
And should I care?
I didn’t think so.
Ah come on, what has Yakov Smirnoff ever done to anyone? Some topics are just off limits man.
“The society stands for the proposition that the strong must sacrifice for the weak, that greater love has no man than he lay down his life for another, and that the doctrine of “women and children first” must be preserved.
EXCEPT when it comes to the weak who are homeless, unemployed or underemployed …then it’s “No Food Stamps for you!”,
and that laying down your life shit is off the table if you don’t have health insurance….then it’s “Let him die! Wooooh!”.
And “women and children first” only applies in the context of “people who will get screwed the hardest by my economic policies”.
Let’s hear it for the Christian Boat Sinking Self-Congratulatory Masturbation Club!
That’s not Satan, that’s Glenn Danzig.
In October 2000 I met a bunch of cousins in Branson for a few days (we’re pretty spread out). Went to the Yakov show. Total pile of shit, PLUS he was shilling for Chimpy. Longest two hours of my life.
If you have to go to Branson, skip Yakov, see the Chinese acrobats, unless they went home to make iPads.
Christian Boy’s and Men’s Titanic Society? NAMBLA?
Is Satan for or against blow jobs? I am forever haunted by that image…
Elleen -
Every dude is in favor of them, but I’m only guessing.
Regards,
TG
Then I guess that would include Pat Robertson with his mylar head.
Ellen -
Now I have the heebie-jeebies.
Rgds,
TG