The Worlds Greatest Book Tour® as everyone knows is the last conservative standing in the 2012 Goat Rodeo. And as such, with checks bouncing and Callista casting come-hither glances at donors, staff-banging serial-adulterer Newticles gives us the worlds worst campaign commercial:
Slobs for Noot Jeebus, doesn’t anyone know how to make a bed anymore?
This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 18th, 2012 at 8:52 am by Tengrain and is filed under snark. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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Jeezus. H. CHRIST. This is the campaign commercial equivalent of the proverbial gory highway accident that you can’t help slowing down to take a look at.
Honestly, man… I really really couldn’t take my eyes off this. I had misgivings and hesitated to play it at first, but once it started rolling, I was spellbound with a perverse awe. If I could establish a George Hutchins Award for wretched, smarmy campaign advertising, I’d give the inaugural award to this ad. It’s got everything and then some, and the music — oh, that beat-to-death treacly piano music — really ties it all together.
It’s stuff like this that made me abandon all hope for this country, and to dedicate myself to do whatever small things I could do, myself, to speed its collapse. I mean, Christ, just look at this goddamn’ motley trash: you’ve got your frat bro making little flourishing gestures he learned from watching pundits on TV; you’ve got your pasty fat soccer mom; you’ve got your grumbly-voiced Teabagger posing in front of the flag on his lawn; you’ve got your College Republican airhead groupie chick; you’ve got your doughy teenaged brat camped in his bedroom, slouched in the glow of a monitor; basically, you’ve got the Real America — not the loving, diverse, rainbow-hued I Too Sing America of addled Liberal fantasies, but the real, honest-to-Dog, SUV-driving, KFC-fattened, Our Troops-supporting, torture-loving, yellow ribbon-encrusted, rock-stupid Real Goddamn’ America. Tough shit, Liberals; this is the way it is.
Well now I am NOT going to watch it…
the best part?
Those are the BEST submissions they got.
And Newt did not win you say? I find that hard to believe. BTW I only one shirt with buttons, and they were undone.
It’s a pity he didn’t win. I was looking forward to a First Lady with a past that’s shady. Secret Service code name = MILF. No, not with my brothers dick, in case you were wondering.
“Callista casting come-hither glances at donors” is at least as scary as the video.
Geeze, ol’ Flugen up there is almost as cynical as I am.
Somebody forget to remind this crowd that Newt was thrown out of congress for ethics violations. I guess it’s true they don’t teach history in school anymore.
If Mike Flugennock is correct and that is the Real America, you’re more than half way to Idiocracy.