The Todd Akin Pregnancy Preventer
Senate Candidate and shit-for-brains Missouri Rep. Todd Akin told a local television station on Sunday that “legitimate rape” rarely produces pregnancy because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
Due to time constraints (and the walk out of the female staff from the TV station) the station was not able to broadcast the entire medically-challenged interview. What was left on the cutting room floor was Akin’s answer to preventing the rash of teenage pregnancies in the country:
Todd Akin may be one of the most repulsive and vile excuses for a human to ever walk on earth (and there is a whole slew of them sitting in the red seats of the US Congress right now). Worse than Akin will be the hundreds of thousands of people (and women!) who will actually vote for him with absolutely no sense of shame.
I think I figured out where Todd got his medical degree – by reading that wonderful piece of fiction known as The Bible.
According to Deuteronomy 22:28-29
“If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.”
In other words – rape a woman, pay her father 50 shekels – and guess what – she is all yours! Forever – forget divorcing her
If Deuteronomy isn’t enough medical education for Todd, how about Exodus 22:16-17
“If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride price for virgins.”
Wow, what a nice book – even better than 50 Shade of Grey. I am no Biblical scholar but these passages clearly state that if a man has sex with a virgin who is not married (whether or not it was rape or consensual) he has to marry her – of course after he negotiates with her father (calling Bain Capital!)
Todd Akin – standard bearer for the 21st Century American Republican Party
The Bible also has instructions for how to deal with your slaves in case there’s any confusion on the matter.