Happy Hour News Briefs
News that is shaken and not stirred
Bryan Fischer doesn’t understand why women will not stay in their place, the way his version of the Bible tells them to.
- Hey Guys, remember that time that the Zombie-eyed Granny-starver went to the soup kitchen late, to listen to people not there, and wash dishes that were already cleaned? Me Neither!, but anyway, the manager of the soup kitchen says that the Romney-Ryan campaign did not clear the visit with them first and should not have been allowed in as it breaks their non-political endorsement rules. (Raw Story)
- “We’re praying for you hard.” - Famous ladyparts scholar Todd Akin has decided that his best chance of winning the election is Divine Intervention (not the sex toy company, though that would be more fun), and is now having prayer sessions at his campaign events. (BuzzFeed)
- Huckabee says… It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on our old squirrel-frying pal Gomer to see what he’s up to, and it turns out he’s trying to tear down the wall between Church and State:
Huckabee added that Christians should not blame “things that putrefy and get spoiled, because that’s what things do when they’re left alone and godless.” If things are dark, it’s the Christians who are going to turn the lights on, he said. “If politics is dirty in this country, it’s dirty because not enough good, clean people get involved.”
Oy, gevalt! (Christian Post)
Reverend Fishman is right, as usual.
I just threw all of Mrs DeBakey’s shoes and socks away.
If only Satan hadn’t convinced me to get a Vasectomy.
Also,
I just want to take a minute to say “Praise the Lord” for the Apostle Paul [you may know him as Saul of Tarsus, Roman citizen and Herodian] for helping Us with all those things that Jesus never got around to discussing.
You all know how busy Jesus was – wandering the Judean hills, making wine, feeding the poor, hanging with The Marys.
He just didn’t have time to discuss contraception and abortion and feminism and homosexuality.
So Thanks Paul!
You’re my main man! [I hope your new medication is helping with your seizures.]
Ah, Bryan, you Jolly Joker! (I love this turtlehead, and miss him when my butt-Keegles drive him back into The Dark.)
Wouldn’t it just be Heaven if a Just God made you this man’s wife?
And it cracks me up that he pretends not to know how many times the Holly Bibble has been re-written by men to exclude women – I heard a scholar of such things claim that the Old Testament had more women in it than men. Also too, Jesus of Nazareth was pretty damned dark-skinned and had kinky black hair.
Suck on that, Bryan, and have your people get back to my people.
That’s enough degrees of separation to keep me from reeking of you.
So the alleged “War on Women” is a literal “War on Men,” got it! Thanks, again, Mr Fischer!