Happy Hour News Briefs
Drink-up, Bitchez!
So much for Latino outreach: “We’ll never get them, they just want free stuff.”
- Obama’s Secret Weapon - Guess what I just learned about why women voted en masse for The Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby: it was because George Clooney is hunka-hunka burning love, and because he likes the O-man, well, chicks therefore dig him too, d’uh! This bit of insight into the female mind was brought to us by the very male American Family Association president Tim Wildmon and research director Ed Vitagliano, who are very in touch with their inner chicks:
“They said ‘what Hollywood star do women love’ and they found that they love overwhelmingly George Clooney, so what they did is they went and got George Clooney to have a dinner with President Obama and then they had a big fundraiser and they said to women, ‘if you want to have dinner with George Clooney and President Obama here is how much you pay per plate for this big fundraiser.’ They did the same thing in the east with Sarah Jessica Parker, who was a beloved icon of many women. So what they did, and it’s brilliant even while cynical, is they hooked women to Obama through these Hollywood stars. These women were saying well ‘George Clooney loves President Obama,’ and a fair number of them I’m guessing said, ‘so I love President Obama,’ and the same thing with Sarah Jessica Parker. That to me, and this is obviously an overstatement, that to me is not what the Founding Fathers envisioned that when they were hoping for a well-informed electorate being advised of the issues and studying the issues, no, what we’ve devolved to is ‘I love George Clooney, George Clooney loves President Obama, therefore I love President Obama.’
Sweet Jeebus, they are not even trying to hide their sexism anymore! (American Family Association)
- Texas! - The Lone Star Republic, which Molly Ivins called the National Laboratory for Bad Policy, has done it again! And this time the wingnut theocrat calling for secession is not Rick Perry! Anyway, meet Hardin County Republican treasurer Peter Morrison, who was chosen by former State Board of Education Chairman Don McLeroy to help screen Texas public school textbooks:
“Why should Vermont and Texas live under the same government?” writes Hardin County Republican treasurer Peter Morrison, a Ron Paul supporter and author of a race-heavy Tea Party newsletter.
“Let each go her own way,” he writes, demanding an “amicable divorce” from the U.S. and from the “maggots” who re-elected President Obama.
And it goes down hill from there. (Star-Telegram)
- At last! Something that the Xristian Xrazies want that I can support:
“Perhaps homosexual activism in government schools is a spark that will ignite a larger movement among Christians to take their children out and homeschool them or opt for private Christian schools.”
Please take your kids out of our schools. Please? (World Magazine)
Well, if George Clooney ends up supporting Mitch McConnell in 2014 (who is not cute at all), then I guess I would give money to his campaign or move to Kentucky so I could vote for him. He’s that dreamy – I mean Clooney.
I heard if women voted for Obama, they got a free toaster.
These people got all heavy breathing over Queen Moosilini so I think we can ignore their spanking slashfic stories. Seeing Alan Colmes slap someone around is a nice change. You know that you’re getting arseslapped when the Fux person has to step in.
If we’ve learned ANYTHING about the Deep Fried Butter Eaters, it’s that when they get dope-slapped for being dim-wits, they have nothing in their bag of tricks other than… doubling down on Teh Stupit!
Ergo, expect the racism and misogyny to thicken, and Rethuglican Obstructionism to become ever more intractable.
No, grs. A free abortion. That’s why Obama won.
Remind me, is the abortion also the free guvmint birth control or are the slut pills a separate thang?