An Affair To Remember (Charted)

The crack research team at Mock, Paper, Scissors has done it again! We’ve spent literally minutes analyzing all the known players and whatnot involved in the nefarious Petraeus Sexy-Time Affair and documented the timeline in this handy cut-out-and-keep chart!

An Affair To Remember

(Actual factual information from The Week)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012 at 3:24 pm by Tengrain and is filed under Adulterer. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

19 Responses to “An Affair To Remember (Charted)”

  1. tommyspoon: November 14th, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Fantastic!

    (Pause)

    I’m still confused.

  2. TheCunningRunt: November 14th, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Thanks, Ten, for wading through this sewer so we don’t have to.

    The bottom line for me, though, is still, “So what???”

    Big Generals frequently have Little Generals who call the, um… shots, just as many of us manamals do.

    Oh, and f**k Cantor, the Idol of Idiot Worshipers. He should either DO THE JOB HE’S BEING PAID TO DO, OR GET A REAL ONE.

  3. another kiwi: November 14th, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Great effort Tengrain. But, you know, doing a flowchart that mentions Iraq but doesn’t acknowledge Tom Friedman’s work is incomplete.

  4. Dimitrios: November 14th, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Fantastic! But for pictorial integrity the dotted lines really should have been dribbled cum stains.

  5. moeman: November 14th, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Wow, thats a lot of arrows. Beautiful Tenn Diagram!

  6. gumby: November 14th, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    to be continued?

  7. Tengrain: November 14th, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Kiwi -

    It did take me nearly a Friedman unit to draw it, so that’s close, right?

    –TG

  8. Tengrain: November 14th, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Dimitrios -

    Gah! It seems so obvious now…

    Rgds,

    TG

  9. Tengrain: November 14th, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Gumby -

    Derp. I hope not. Maybe a part 2?

    Rgds,

    TG

  10. Some Techie: November 14th, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Ich brauche einen größeren Computermonitor.

  11. Mr DeBakey: November 14th, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    Don’t forget there’s another Lebanese bombshell who befriended The Generals.
    Jill’s identical twin needs to be squeezed in somewhere.

  12. Axel Grease: November 14th, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    did you just explain the obsession with the kardashians?

  13. Matty Boy: November 14th, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    My only confusion as someone who has done EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to stay ignorant of this nonsense: Who is Boylan? A first name and a job description would help here.

    Other than that, another Tengrain classic, as if we ever expect less.

  14. Tengrain: November 14th, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Matty Boy -

    I’m sorry: retired Army Col. Steve Boylan, who is/was Ret. General Petraeus’ spokes-colonel. I mean, you know, the person who confirms that the General was boinking the biographer who was not his wife.

    We regret the error.

    Regards,

    TG

  15. The One True Dave: November 14th, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Why am I reminded of this?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSaNWYHmUvI

  16. Brian O'C: November 15th, 2012 at 3:41 am

    I’ll just be sitting over here on the Group ‘W’ bench. Eating my popcorn! Already an American classic.

  17. Frans: November 15th, 2012 at 4:18 am

    I don’t think her access was completely unprecedented. He must have had sex before.

  18. knowdoubt: November 15th, 2012 at 4:29 am

    June 30,2010 Petraeus offers Broadwell unprecedented access in Afghanistan, his staff notes with disapproval – those were “dream studies” in the bedroom, nothing abnormal there.

    Sept. 6, 2011 Petraeus Sworn in as CIA Director

    “Obviously”, Petraeus didn’t violate the military code of conduct by having an affair, he waited until after he was sworn in as CIA director, it is so obvious.

    That is a most incredible time line – it should be published everywhere – it makes everything so “understandable.”

    I think I would copyright that work, but not before I substituted the “dribbled cum stains for the dotted lines” – they might start somewhere in 2008 where their “cooperation” was sealed after a 6 mile run probably in the shower would be my best guess.

  19. Tengrain: November 15th, 2012 at 6:45 am

    The One True Dave -

    There is an undeniable resemblance.

    Regards,

    Tengrain