Happy Hour News Briefs

News that will drive you to drink

(Petunia and Pals) Jeebus! Is Petunia so stupid that she doesn’t know how taxes work? Do blondes peroxide in the woods?

  • And so it starts - Hey guys, remember that time when Cardinal Frothy Santorum (ewww, gross!) won 4 million votes and eleven pig-kissing contests primaries, but didn’t win the nomination by a long shot? Me Neither!, but anyway, he’s now on record declaring for the GOP’s 2016 Goat Rodeo! The fun never stops with the forced-birth, rape-is-a-gift-from-God Xristian Xrazie theocratic scolds! (The Weekly Standard)
  • The War on Men - Hey did you guys know that ancient self-loathing Harpy Phyllis Schlafly has a niece? She does! And her niece offers today’s feminazis exactly the kind of analysis that the old gargoyle would offer herself. (Fox News)
  • Kirk Cameron: The Next Generation The half-man from Two and a Half Men is now officially a Xristian Xrazie, and is telling us not to watch the devil’s own TeeVee (2 1/2 Men) or face eternal peril. This is one I’m happy to already be on top of: never watched it, you stupid, self-righteous git. (Mediaite)

This entry was posted on Monday, November 26th, 2012 at 5:00 pm by Tengrain and is filed under snark. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

5 Responses to “Happy Hour News Briefs”

  1. Mr DeBakey: November 26th, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    emailer Tracie must be a graduate of the Franklin Delano Burns School of Medicine in Ambia Indiana

  2. Bruce388: November 26th, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    Little Jake’s all growed up. So he hates the show. I assume he’s shredding those paychecks.

  3. Mr DeBakey: November 26th, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    Petunia’s email friend Tracie
    must’ve graduated from the Franklin Delano Burns School of Medicine.
    “Don’t contaminate our drinking water with fluoridation”

  4. A.J.: November 27th, 2012 at 7:10 am

    Hey, Tracie – if it was OK when Saint Reagan taxed the super-rich at 50%, why is Obama ‘a Muslin’ Mao-loving commie destroying America if he taxes them at 39%?

  5. Pentimento: November 29th, 2012 at 6:08 am

    We blamed Joe Paterno. We were wrong. Please investigate Governor Corbutt, Rick Santorum, and The Second Mile Foundation. It was not a football problem. Penn State always exceeded academic standards. It was a deceit outside Happy Valley.