Happy Hour News Briefs
News straight up, with a twist
(Petunia and Pals) John Stossel: US should emulate Singapore. Also/too: who ratted his wig?
- Replacements - So with the sudden news of notable South Carolina teabagger Senator Jim DeMint’s immediate departure from the US Senate, all of America is asking, “So who will allegedly adulterous Nikki Haley appoint to replace him?” The Wall Street Journal supplies us with a dark horse candidate: infamous Appalachian-Hiking, amateur castanets-playing Lothario Mark “Kiss Me South of the Border” Sanford.
- Grooming - The supposedly smart son of GHWB and former first brother Jeb Bush (father of prescription drug addict Nicole, anger management candidate Jeb Jr., and the other one who likes having underaged sex in public, and husband to well-known tax cheat Columba) is going to polish his resume until the 2016 Goat Rodeo at The National Constitution Center.
- Boycott - Math-challenged Million Moms (population about 40,000) are now trying to organize another boycott of retailer JC Penney due to their continued effrontery to shove famous lesbian person Ellen DeGeneres in their faces during the most sacred time of the year, the shopping madness of Baby Jeebus’ birthday. Also, too: elves. (Raw Story)
Senator Appalachian Trail Mark Sanford? Ah, what the hell. Nobody notices when a Senator’s unavailable.
When even Dumb (or Dumber?) wonders what your smoking, maybe you’ve gone too far, John Stossel.