Happy Hour News Briefs

News on the rocks

War on Christmas has a fifth columnist: Sean Hannity!

  • Voting Rights and Wrongs - Paleolithic hate goblin and notable self-loathing woman Phyllis Schlafly must have be having a good oxygen flow day. Anyway, the old Gorgon noticed that nearly half of the United States voted early! Early, she’s never heard of such a thing! Why the very idea of it! Back when she was hanging out with Betsy Ross, no one voted early! Mrs. Schlafly disapproves because, well you know, “they” voted for The Kenyan Usurper, so of course now we must end the peril of early voting. It’s the only way to return to an America she once loved. The End. (The Schlafly Report)
  • Loser Says Cheaters Prosper - Famous crazy person and would-be contender for the Norm Coleman Poor Loser Award, Allen West takes his poor losing to “11″ and vaguely accuses Patrick Murphy of cheating to win the election. Of course, he offers no proof of it, but still, it must be true because voices in his head tell him it’s the only way he could have lost. (Think Progress)
  • Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood - Won’t you heathens take some time to give a helping hand this Holiday Season Christmas, and help Xristian Xrazie Gary Cass decide which were the “10 most egregious acts of anti-Christian defamation, discrimination and persecution in America,” because it wouldn’t be the holidays without some good, old-fashioned victimhood. (Defend Christians)

This entry was posted on Monday, December 10th, 2012 at 5:00 pm by Tengrain and is filed under snark. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “Happy Hour News Briefs”

  1. lambchop: December 10th, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    Pennsylvania only has absentee balloting, no early voting. If there had been, the lone, yet menacing, Black Panther on voting day would have received even greater coverage on Faux News.

  2. Tengrain: December 10th, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Lambchop -

    I believe Washington state is only absentee balloting, too, and well! Phyliss Schlafly knows what hell broke loose there!

    Rgds,

    TG

  3. Mr DeBakey: December 10th, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    That Defend Christians website says “In Montana, pro-lifers were attached by a firebomb during a prayer vigil in front of an abortion clinic.”

    I ask: attached to what?

    I also ask: Montana, Pro-choice hotbed?

  4. Bruce388: December 11th, 2012 at 6:52 am

    The Google shows multiple links to “montana abortion firebomb,” but the domain names (foxnews, lifenews, etc.) follow a certain theme.

    Everybody knows firebombs and other weaponry are OK only for abortion clinics and doctors.