Happy Hour News Briefs
News that will drive you to drink
(Fact-free Five) Waterboarding? More Like Awesome Boarding
- Conspiracy! - The voices inside her head are getting shrill and loud again, now that Michele Bachmann eked out a slender election victory. Anyway, One-L went on the wireless and is now proclaiming (again) that the Kenyan Usurper is “aiding and abetting” radical Islamist groups. She then adjusted her tinfoil hat and hid behind a potted plant. Thanks Minnesota, the comedy lives another day! (Right Wing Watch)
- Boycott! - Head of the FRC (so to speak) Tony Perkins, who spends all of his free time thinking about gay sex, has decided to stand up for the homophobic Xristian Xrazies at the Boy Scouts of America, and so he is going to boycott UPS (who have committed to defund the Scouts). Yeah, well, Tony Perkins and the Family Research Council will take their packages elsewhere, so to speak. (FRC)
- Research! - The Eagle Forum has done the analysis and they now know how The Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby won the election:
Democrats campaign largely by badmouthing traditional American values, and convincing various demographic groups that they are outside the Republican base, and hence better off voting Democrat. So non-whites, non-Christians, and non-marrieds vote Democrat out of group identifications. That is, they see it as being in their group interests to tear down traditional American culture.
Democrats never persuade voters based on reason or logic. They gain voters by increasing government dependence and by promoting changes to immigration policy, family law, and schools that increase the population wanting to undermine Americanism.
This moment of analysis is brought to you by Roger Schlafly, fertilized egg of Phyllis. The wingnut falls not far from the Gorgon. (Eagle Forum)
Roger is either a dim-witted dick or a lying fuck. Or both.
I’m goin’ with “both.”
Just a guess, but Roger isn’t Phyllis’ gay son, right?
John Schlafly, the first born, is the gay one. Roger is the one who looks like the Unibomber. Rgds — TG
Oh really? I thought they won by having more votes. This is quite a revelation. Bless the Schafly’s everyone for this vital information. What color is the tinfoil on this asshats head?
Oh really? I thought they won by having more votes. This is quite a revelation. Bless the Schafly’s everyone for this vital information. What color is the tinfoil on this asshats head?
Doubles!!!!
What kind of man looks at Phyllis Schafly and think “yeah, I’d do her?” And then, apparently, he did it twice.
“Awesome boarding” ???
…I’ll bet the five are all good little CHRISTIANS, aren’t they?
Is the chyron blocking the rest of The Five logo? Shouldn’t is say The Five Worst People In America?