News that will drive you to drink
(God Knows) Cindy Jacobs says that angels are God’s concierges. And whatever she’s having, make mine a double.
- Sinking Ship Looks for Drowning Man - CNN (last place network in every measure) announced that it is hiring ABC News White House Correspondent Jake Tapper to become a news anchor there. Don’t go, Jake! It’s a TRAP! Think Wolf Blitzer, don’t GO! (Mediaite)
- Drowning Woman Swims to Sinking Ship - When last we looked in on our old friend, famous homophobe and unwed mother and founder of NOM Maggie Gallagher was weeping over losing every single ballot race to deny gay people the right to marry. She’s dried her tears and now she is helping Jewish ex-gay quackery group JONAH (not Goldberg) fight a lawsuit brought on by the Southern Poverty Law Center:
“If we do not halt the secular progressive agenda of harassment and intimidation of people of conscience, our children will not experience or enjoy the freedom and liberty that we have long known as Americans.”
The joy, freedom, and liberty to oppress a minority group Maggie doesn’t like. (Joe.My.God.)
- Man of the Year - I know you’ve all been wondering and the big announcement is that Patrick Buchanan is the World Nut Daily Man of the Year. The year, of course, is up for debate. We’re guessing around 1857. (World Nut Daily)