News Briefs
News you can use all day
(Petunia and Pals) Short-fingered vulgarian The Donald says boy-exorcist Bobby Jindal is stupid for calling the GOP the stupid party, and then discusses how he proved that he is not a son of an orangutan so Bill Maher owes him $5 M.
- A stitch in time - Famous mustached person David Axelrod says that the White House should have released the now-infamous skeet-shooting photo sooner to blunt skeptics who questioned Obama’s claim that he goes skeet shooting “all the time.” He then didn’t add, “and also given them the Photoshop file to make it easier to mock.” (TPM)
- Bad Analogies - Noted wing-ding Rep. Lou Barletta (R-Bad SAT Scores), on the electric teevee machine Sunday, claimed that limiting firearms will have as much impact on reducing gun violence as banning spoons will on preventing obesity. (Think Progress)
- Groundswell - Now that famous naked truck-driver Scott Brown says that he will not run for Secretary John Kerry’s empty Senate seat, Massachusetts Republicans turn their misty eyes to… Queen Ann:
“I’ve had several people call me and ask about Ann Romney,” Ron Kaufman, a longtime friend and aide to the former Massachusetts governor and 2012 presidential candidate nominee, told the Herald.”
“Ann Romney’s inspiring battle against multiple sclerosis and her star turn on the GOP convention stage turned her into a popular national figure, especially among women voters in Massachusetts.”
No word on when Massachusetts will crown Her Royal Cuntiness. (Boston Herald)

how the fuck does battling a personal health issue make you qualified to be in the Senate?
Steve, have you seen some of those yahoos? They’re ALL battling something or other. And losing.
There was something on the Intertubes this morning about Tagg Romney considering a run for that Senate seat.
The more I think about it, I want proof that Obama fathered those girls. In long form video, please.
Ted -
Hi-Def, too, amiright?
Rgds,
TG
Lou’s analogue is accurate only if all the obese are at that point where one more spoonful will make them imitate Mr. Creosote.
Her Royal Cuntiness doesn’t stand a chance in Massachusetts, and neither does her foul progeny, Tagg. We swallowed that load once and aren’t kneeling down for it again.
Run, Ann, run. You think she look sour when Mitt lost…imagine the look on her face when she can’t break 20%. I can’t see how she would appeal to anyone with a pulse and more than two neurons.