Happy Hour News Briefs
Drink-up, Bitchez!
Rev. Fishtush tells us that gay players would add to the sexual tension in the NFL locker rooms. Hubba-hubba!
- TGIF - Hey ladies, Republicans in South Dakotastan don’t want you to spend all weekend thinking about your abortion, so that 72-hour wait that they’ve prescribed for you? It doesn’t include weekends or holidays because they know you don’t think when not on the clock. (AP)
- Playing Doctor - Hey guys! What a coincidence: the highest rates of HIV infection in the entire country are in Jeebusland, you know, where there is no science-based Sex Education, just Abstinence-Only (if that). Who woulda thunk it? (Think Progress)
- Literature! - Notably nutty Xristian Xrazie Alan Keyes says that American Elites will not be happy until they are in the final ring of Dante’s Inferno, you know, eating bitter ashes surrounded by lakes of fire. (World Nut Daily)
- Bonus Track - I’m reasonably certain Reuters did not actually title their article Poll Shows Sodom and Gomorrah Traits in Calif., but you know it was republished on Charisma News, so what the heck!
A grenade-like explosion?
Ohhh man
Scuse me, I gotta talk to Mrs DeBakey for a sec.
Yeah! Like when the center snaps the ball, the quarterback has no time to spare for standing around and admiring the center’s ass.
More HIV in the Bible-thumpers? Is God trying to smite them?
Bitter ashes? Some barbecue sauce will fix that.