Great Expectations
To everything
There is a season
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
No more April Fools mischief for us here at Mock, Paper, Scissors. The time has come for us to put away our childish things, to become serious, and to address the theocratic issues of the day, carefully, thoughtfully, and straight forwardly. We cannot forever sit back and mock the short-fingered vulgarians. We must do more than merely spitball the pontificating poltroons. Enough jokes, enough tomfoolery. It’s high time we told the world not just what repels and astounds us, but what we are for.
I’m thinking.
Alright, here’s one: We are for condoms.
arlier this year, the Pope while visiting Africa (which looks to be a great opportunity for expanding his franchise), suggested that access to condoms leads to the spread of HIV disease and AIDS. The pope told reporters, “You can’t resolve it [the spread of HIV and AIDS, presumably] with the distribution of condoms.” He then added, “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”
Actually, the lack of condoms increases many problems, besides HIV and AIDS (which is a tragedy of epic proportions as it is) such as unwanted children.
Turn, turn, turn…
hildren seem to be a lot in the news lately, and MPS is firmly of the belief that children should be seen and not heard from until they are old enough to make a decent martini. However, we do believe that children should be wanted.
Perhaps solving the glut of unwanted children is at our fingertips: allowing gay couples to adopt. Christian groups however say that gay people are “now pursuing symbolic gains and holding up children as trophies for their own agenda.” Tell that to Frank Gill, a plaintiff in a pending lawsuit aimed at repealing the Florida adoption ban. Gill said that he and his partner have been foster parents for 10 children but when a South Florida circuit judge granted their request to adopt two boys, the state immediately appealed under the law forbidding adoption by gays.
According to Minnesota’s member of Congress, Michelle Bachmann, the gay community is targeting children and that “our children are the prize for this community.”
We at MPS are all for prizes, and we think that Michelle Bachmann and the theocrats of the Christian right win the prize for ignorance and bigotry.
Turn, turn, turn…
ut as long as we are discussing condoms as contributing to a problem (as the Pope says), we logically arrive at abstinence as sex education.
The narrative that we get from the Christian Right is that sex is the dirtiest, nastiest and most evil thing that you can do (Ed: only if you do it right — T.G.), and that is why you must only do it with someone you love.
Works well, doesn’t it?
Turn, turn, turn…
n sex education, we did learn about the sperm and the egg, and how babies are made (though it took a few years before we learned about Tab A and Slot B). We saw nifty black and white movies showing the moment of conception, and oddly there was no one from the GOP-Christian Right with a voter registration card.
The theocrats across the country are again in the throes of protecting the fetus and frying the felons. And interestingly enough, the right to medical care has become an issue amongst the Rapture set:
Carl and Raylene Worthington were indicted for manslaughter and criminal mistreatment, after their 18 month old daughter died of what officials are calling medical neglect. They are members of the Followers of Christ Church, whose members have a history of treating gravely ill children solely via prayer, instead of with medical attention. The state medical examiner’s office has said that she could have been treated with antibiotics. Just a few weeks later, a 16 year old cousin in the same community died from a urinary track blockage.
As we’ve said before, the theocrats motto is The Right to Life Ends at Birth
Turn, turn, turn…
ere’s another thing we are for: intelligence, but not intelligent design. The Texas Board of Education earlier this year proposed a new science curriculum that is designed to challenge the guiding principle of evolution. The proposed curriculum would prompt teachers to raise doubts that all life on Earth is descended from common ancestry.
Texas school board chairman Don McLeroy wants the texts to make the case that individual cells are far too complex to have evolved by chance mutation and natural selection, an argument popular with those who believe an intelligent designer created the universe.
The most incredible thing I believe is the Christmas story. That little baby born in the manger was the god that created the universe.
– Don McLeroy, Texas school board chairman
Please ignore the logic and continuity issues with being born and then creating everything. As the Pope says, it increases the problem.
‘…that is why you must only do it with someone you love.’
Or at least like a whole bunch.
Here’s what I’m for – Taking the purblindly ignorant, penning them up freerange style, performing a helo food drop once a week and letting Darwin take its course. And I want the broadcast rights.
;>)
Yeah Don, that’s incredible alright. The most incredible thing I believe in the unwavering dumbassery of homo sapiens to willingly keep such yokels in the state’s employ. That and the magical properties of adult beverages.
Graves, you swine!
It’s too early in the day for adult beverages. Or is it 5 o’clock somewhere?
Regards,
Tengrain
Sooooo glad I don’t live in Texas anymore!
You know, if we gays spent time doing all the recruiting of straights, targeting of children, and other world-takeover activities these christians claim we’re hellbent on doing, we’d never have time for all our hair-dressing, practical-shoes-wearing, granola-eating, and overly-dramatic-relationship-having. Believe me, I spend a lot of my time just trying to find a lesbian who’s worth talking to in this town. I don’t have time target the kids!
According to Minnesota’s member of Congress, Michelle Bachmann, the gay community is targeting children and that “our children are the prize for this community.”
xxx
so, Bachmann is at it again?
this is SO in character!
there was some tv personality [can't remember her name, thank goodness] who blasted the airways with “the gays are targeting our children!”
she went from talk-show host to orange juice ads to oblivion in about 2 years.
may Bachmann follow her. soon.
When can we ban the ban the cloth that is woven from more than one fiber?
two crows
Anita Bryant
and then she tried to redeem herself
michelle bachman and george bush are the perfect examples of why birth control should be required
I’m always interested in religious folk who seem to be almost exclusively invested in those aspects of their respective religions that deal with sex.
What I wanna know is why would most hymns sound so sexually ecstatic?
“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals, and 362 to heterosexuals. This doesn’t mean God doesn’t love heterosexuals, it’s just that they need more supervision.” -Lynn Lavner
Why is everyone “yelling”?
Let me see, there’s Sunday School, Youth Groups, Summer Bible School, and Jesus Camp, plus a plethora of Left Behind books and video games, Junior Christian novels, Christian Rock, and Purity Balls, etc. It seems like the Christians are the ones doing most of the targeting of young people.
The only thing I can think of that gays and lesbians (and some straights and Christians) do that is attractive to kids, is to not call them hurtful names when they are experiencing powerful new emotions, all of which, of course, are sinful or perverse in some strange way.
Wee Mousie -
…all of which, of course, are sinful or perverse in some strange and wonderful way.
Regards,
Tengrain
Great response to Blog Against Theocracy.
C Woods – welcom to MPS, it is good to have you with us!
Regards,
Tengrain
Hey Mach, Paper, Running with Scissors Blog Person,
I’m just doing a hit and run comment on the B.A.T. blogroll.
Thanks for the BAT stamp update. That was nice of you. It’s on my BAT post.
I like your use of the BIRDS music. I chose SIGNS by the Five Man Electrical Band as an addendum to my BAT post. I found it fitting.
I enjoy reading your sarcastic, satirical blog. Just remember TACT is for people who are too witless to be sarcastic.
Hey KAM – Don’t be a stranger, you’re with friends here.
Regards,
Tengrain
Nice post, Tengrain. None of the hypocrisies ever phase the religious reich, they will never change their minds, but these posts do make a difference in shaping the conversations of sane people.
This reminds me of the old Queer Nation sticker:
Condoms, Not Communions!