The Devil made me do it
Yes, once again, Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network is warning us about demonic candy (literally, demons in candy) to defile the youth of America on Halloween:
If this holiday is hallowed, whose service is it set apart for? The answer to that question is very easy—Lucifer’s!… [M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches! I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.
– Kimberly Daniels
Now before everyone goes non-linear about Xristian Xrazies, gotta check out what the Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State has to say, too:
I’ve heard of the devil being in the details, but to think he’s lurking inside a Snickers bar is a little too much. Pat Robertson has always peddled some scary stuff, but this is over the top.
I hate to see all of that candy go to waste. I wish Robertson would send it to me, because I’m throwing a Halloween party and could use it.
– The Rev. Barry W. Lynn
Too cheap to treat the neighborhood kiddies, Pat? Aren’t the profits from the African diamond mine coming in for you?
Robbie is so full of shit. I’ve tried cursing people for years through Halloween candy and it hasn’t worked once.
Pat robertson is nuckin futs!!
Elspeth -
I know you are going to read this and laugh, and then get angry. But as the official MPS Witch, I know that you would do nothing but bless candy (and then eat some yourself…) and offer it to others.
As the kids all say, Pat Robertson is the suck.
Regards,
Tengrain
HA! Not my candy! My candy is pro-Cthuhlu.
I’d rather bite into curses than razor blades. If you have your candy inspected, does Satan show up on xrays?
Welcome to MPS JohnnyB, it is good to have you with us.
I don’t know the answer to your question, but I suspect that it involved a lot of tinfoil and Pat Robertson squenching up his face as if to pass a really hard stool.
Regards,
Tengrain
That squenched face is Pat in prayer. Prayin’s hard work.
Mmmmmm, Demon candy!