Lurkers-Head-Towards-The-Light Day
Folks -
We’re recruiting new Scissorheads this weekend, and asking all of our lurkers to leave a comment. You see, we want to like you, but we can’t if we don’t meet you.
I’m going to violate the Prime Directive of Blogging (the No Whining clause) and tell you that it is disheartening to put out some pretty good snark, day after day but have few people comment. I did the math recently and for the number of page views Mock, Paper, Scissors has in a day, and the number of comments, well, it comes out to about 1%.
Now, We’re very grateful for the 1%, because our Scissorheads are the internet’s band of incorrigible spitballersTM but we think you must be pretty special to come by every day –shows that you have discerning taste — even if you don’t leave a comment.
So, come’on, what’s stopping you? Leave a comment, and Welcome to MPS, it is good to have you with us.
Regards,
Tengrain
(Delurkers Weekend at Blue Gal’s place, too)
Wonderful post! Yeah it’s de-lurking weekend. Go for it, ma hunnies.
The low percentage of comments may just be from inadvertent intimidation. The standard of snark here at MPS is set so high, that many times I just don’t think my meager offerings measure up. I don’t want to dilute that rich soup or sarcasm and innuendo with anything shopworn or derivative. I can only offer my appreciation for revealing the humor in this ridiculous world.
That and the inability to edit my typos, should have been “rich soup of sarcasm…”
Yeah, 1% is about what I get too. And it is frustrating.
quit yer damn crying. ya, sissy.
WHINERINES!
Bitches.
Don’t be discouraged. As long as your site is getting the hits, don’t sweat it.
This post reminds me of a guy I knew in high school who bought a pager (circa 1993). A bunch of us were sitting around and this dude tells us that we need to start paging him more because the beeper was expensive and his monthly bill had just increased. The guy then lamented what was the point of owning his pager if no one was going to page him? After we stopped laughing at the guy, we explained to him that he was always hanging out with the rest of us. What were we supposed to do, page him when he was standing 10 feet away or page him randomly at 3am?
Don’t worry Tengrain, we’re standing 10 feet away. However, in this instance, I reserve the right to post randomly at 3am. Possibly while intoxicated.
i’m in agree-atude with this one (Pharmakeus Ubik). Y’all needs ta dum down the smark cuz it makes me wet my pants in feer sumtimes.
True snark is a uniter, not a divider. Publish and be damned like the rest of us!
;>)
Am I a lurker just because I rarely comment? It’s usually because you’re making me laugh too hard.
Love Y’all!
i always say, ‘better a 1%er than a 28%!’
Unlike in other industries where the 80/20 rule holds firm (20% of your clients give you 80% of your business, etc.), the blogosphere is the exception. I noticed a similar pattern when I had a real blob (as opposed to my quasi-blob, now) from 2002-2006. I would average 40 regular commenters to 4000 unique visitors, so the same 1%. It seems a common statistic, so don’t fret. I tried getting the lurkers to come out, I had contests (with some real prizes, too, heh), “Getting to know you” quizzes (which got the most, I think 100 people actually participated in that), comic strip creation, and created quizzes on a third-party site and still only saw about 1 – 2% regular participation from a reliable group.
I realized that the lurkers were reading not only for my scintillating entries (!) but for the regular commenters, too. We were like a reality blog show. So, if your commenters are good, your readers enjoy them as well.
Retzillian -
Agreed.
The Scissorheads rule this forum. Sure me or Tex set up the joke, but clearly the real treat is in the comments, and always has been. I just hope that the Lurkers feel free to jump in. There’s no fee, and the initiation ritual is hardly considered hazing…
At some other blogs I admire, it is sort of intimidating to participate because all the commentors know each other and leave messages for each other, and has a sort of Walton-esque quality with them all saying “hello” and “goodbye.”
Regards,
Tengrain
1%, eh? It was always my ambition to be part of a lunatic fringe.
I’m a relatively new scissorhead, but love the site and will proud to be counted in the 1%! Now I must be off to troll through old vacation pics for more “bad statue” pics!
No comment.
Wait a minute; when was the last time you commented at my blog?
Bruce388 – my lifelong dream as well!
Flargin -
Welcome aboard, and that was excellent snark…
Rgds,
Tengrain
Touché Padre Mickey. I don’t visit the Dance Party as often as I should, and especially since I have actually met the famous/infamous internet celebrities Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito (and have photographic proof), you would think I would endeavor to do better.
Regards,
Tengrain
Clearly TenGrain, you’ve been too nice with your opponents. What you need to do is make MORE EXTREME and OUTRAGEOUS charges against Beck, Hannity and O’Reilly, and see if you can get a negative comment on their shows against you…this would be a huge boast in your traffice here.
Suggested Lie#1…Glen Beck is conspiring to plant a Nuclear Device in the basement of the UN building…this is no more outrageous than the lies he tells, and would tend to one up him!
“Libruls”are just too goddamn nice most of the time..we need to become Librul Assasins! Whatever that means…cheers
Since you asked so nicely, here is a comment.
I love the bad statutes posts, and well, I love all the others, too.
Those are just my favorites.
Now I feel like a should visit less, so as to get your 1% up…
Frans -
AAAAACK!
No!
Regards,
TG
Wagonjak -
I have *no complaints* about the traffic MPS gets (I’m astonished that our Children’s Anthology of Fart Jokes gets the traffic we do get…). I honestly don’t want to do even more battle with the Beck-ian trolls than we already do (you should see the inbox!), so I’m unlikely to help a crawler get word back to them that GLENN BECK DOES NOT DENY THAT THERE ARE DOZENS OF CHILDRENS BODIES BURIED IN HIS BASEMENT.
Regards,
Tengrain
Did I forget the “/snark”?
Now I’m disappointed. I love a good fart joke. You can’t claim to have an anthology of fart jokes and not actually have a fart joke. Maybe if you had an actual fart joke you wouldn’t get those nasty emails. I’ll help:
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She’s not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure. Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, “Spot, get down from there.” The guy thinks, “Great, they think the dog did it.” He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, “Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you.”
Tengrain, my dear – I have been woefully negligent in my blog attendance, both my own and my friends’ in the last year or so, for various reasons (mostly consisting of abject poverty and working like a bitch in the attempt to alleviate said poverty). Nevertheless, you have convinced me. I need to get back in the water and your lovely treat of a blog (the fine graphic sensibility is music to my eyeballs) is a great place to start. Love you much.
I once lamented the fact that I get very few comments – almost none – on my blog. Someone close to me said “Your posts seem so complete and self-contained. I love them but have nothing cogent to add.” I feel that way about your posts. People who appreciate your humor and your snark don’t want to leave lame droppings like “LOL”, even though you would appreciate just knowing they are out there laughing. Also, you can be happy to not have a hoard of idiots rushing to comment “First!”.
By the way, why haven’t you commented on my blog more?
… Or (to complete Johnny B’s point) have commenters racing to post the late unlamented “FRIST!” Jeebus, I hated that.
Anyway, I rarely comment because I usually wander along a day or two after the post has gone up, and nobody is paying attention anymore. Of course, I’m more comfortable sneaking in, because I usually look pretty unkempt and/or undressed, and I know you can all see me through my monitor.
And where the hell’s the Edit button on this thing?
What Frans said, except then I’d miss my daily snark! But I only comment a couple of times a month. (There goes my last November comment. Now I have to wait until December…)
I lurk, therefore I am. I can’t snark but can laugh with the best of them. I love this site. Like many others, I am easily intimidated. But, know that we are here.
Welcome aboard, Motocat. It is good to have you with us.
Don’t be intimidated – we may growl, but the only biting around here is our humor.
Regards,
Tengrain
I wouldn’t be a member of any club that would have me!
Oblio -
Me either! Welcome to MPS, it is good to have you with us.
Rgds,
Tengrain
PS – Groucho rules.
Coming late to the party… I like coming here but don’t comment too often simply because the snarks are far better than what I can offer… and because while I also abhor the Xcrazy Xans fundagelicals, I am clergy (but not one of those nut cases, really) so don’t want to set myself up for getting beat up by guilt of association. Not all of us are wing nuts.
Lee -
The category is Xristian Xrazy for a reason — to distinguish between the nutty fundamentalists and the good guys. We have a lot of people of faith here, a couple of priests (catholic and episcopal), some lay people, a wiccan or two… we just draw a distinction between those who have a faith and those who abuse their faith for politcal gain.
I’m from Berkeley and so I know this with all my heart and soul: Jesus was the original hippie. You are always welcome here.
Regards,
Tengrain
delurk
OK
lurk
MGW -
Thanks for making the (Brief) appearance — it is good to have you with us!
Regards,
Tengrain