Shiny penis brings
World’s strangest job description:
the Statue Fluffer!
Updated at the end of the weekend to keep MPS your work-place safe snark emporium of choice.
I’m calling it, “Bottoms Up.”
Our curator, Mountjoy gives us the following educational description to accompany the art:
Damn! These are a pair – needs to be photoshopped. Love the bottom one – tho’ not quite as much as someone who has just visited the statue. Or is that a cobweb?????? That highly polished derriere is rather artistic – but the string of pearls is a huge distraction. Will someone call a cleaner for goodness sake?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Lockwood.)
You can visit the degenerate and completely reprehensible Mountjoy Center for the Appreciation of Cultural Delights anytime you want by clicking the link in the sidebar.
Tips, hints, suggestions, bad statues, bad signs, bad ads? Send them to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com.
If you’re ever lucky enough to be in Afghanistan, Gunnery Sgt. Benjamin Lepping’s left butt cheek has a special surprise… the soldier said. “I decided, ‘What could be better than getting a tattoo of the hottest cougar in the Republican Party?’”
And all this time I just thought Mooselini was a butt-head.
Eat for this is my body, takes on a whole new meaning for Catholics in Oklahoma. Let’s hope that the Priests don’t see this.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead WagonJak)
…the Bush twin’s car? You be the judge!
This is parenting I can get behind.
Tonight’s installation comes to us courtesy of noted art lover and Scissorhead Moeman. Our curator, Mountjoy suggests that it should become part of a waterslide attraction at a themepark, and I’ll just leave that right there.
If you have any art that you would like to nominate for The Mountjoy Center for the Appreciation of Cultural Delights, please send it to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com. If you know where it came from, let me know that too. Scissorheads yearn for knowledge, you know.
I’m calling it “Winter’s Icy Grip,” and I guess this settles the age-old question, yes, snowmen now count as statues. Tonight’s wintery blast is brought to us by Scissorhead Moeman who knows how to frost my martini glass.
Tips, hints, suggestions, BAD STATUES? Send’em to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com. Common side effects include coughing.
I’m calling it, “If the Von Trapps fled the Nazis in summer, naked.”
Tonight’s entry comes to us from Scissorhead BananaPhizhZero, who is a noted art lover.
(Any guesses about the floating kid?)
If you have a work of art that you think fits the purpose of the collection, please send it to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com. Discontinue use if itching continues.
It’s all in the equipment.
You know, Know, KNOW that the artist was a dude, right?
Tonight’s exhibit from The Mountjoy Center for the Appreciation of Cultural Delights is brought to us by Scissorhead SkinnyDennis, who clearly knows something about carving rocks himself.
Anyway, if you have any nominations for the collection, please send them to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com. Side effects might include giggles, blushing, and a compulsion to wash your hands. Void where prohibited.
I’m calling it, “Cigarette Machine.”
And all this time I thought Rosebud was a sled.
Tonight’s contribution comes to us from Scissorhead Deborah. If you would like to join in the fun, please send your artistic vision to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com. All entries are void where prohibited. No shirt, no service.
It’s like what they say about Hula Dancing: everything has a meaning.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead SkinnyDennis)
Yes, another weekend, and therefore another exhibit at the morally degenerate and completely reprehensible Mountjoy Center for the Appreciation of Cultural Delights. Tonight’s installation I found on a link sent to us from Scissorhead WagonJak, so I’m giving him the extra credit points. Let’s just say that every name I came up with for this work could not be published, so I’m going with “Park Bench” and leaving it at that.
(Edited to remove the art work to keep MPS your workplace safe snark emporium of choice. You can visit the entire collection from The Mountjoy Center for the Appreciation of Cultural Delights by clicking the link in the sidebar, if you dare.)
I’m calling it, “Piglet Went Bad Without Pooh.” Tonight’s entry comes to us from Bing McGhandi, America’s Favorite Hypnotoad from Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes, where everyday is a blog against theocracy day.
I’m calling it, “A Little Wood Carving.”
Once again, Scissorhead SkinnyDennis has used the mystical Google and found some, um, interesting native art. He has the Google Juice running in his veins, no two ways about it.
Tips? Suggestions? Bad Art? Send it to me: tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com. Void where prohibited by law.
Scissorhead SkinnyDennis does it again! This statue is allegedly in Brussels, which seems to have a thing for Public Art of little kids peeing.
Hints? Tips? Suggestions (only things that are physically or anatomically possible, please)? Send them to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com today! All the cool kids are doing it!)
A McHenry County judge Wednesday refused to throw out a nuisance charge against a Lakemoor woman using two old toilets and a bathroom sink as front yard planters, rejecting arguments the village was applying its rules too broadly.
The decision by Judge Michael Caldwell moves Tina Asmus closer to a trial showdown with the village over whether the old bathroom fixtures are constitutionally protected artistic expression, as she maintains, or old junk that belongs in a landfill, not a front yard.
In his decision, Caldwell said whether the village is applying its nuisance ordinance unconstitutionally is a fact issue to be decided at trial, but the ordinance itself is not overbroad as Asmus’s attorney argued.
The ruling comes about seven months after village officials cited Asmus, of the 100 block of South Highland Drive, for maintaining a public nuisance when she refused to remove the fixtures. The village ordinance declares as a nuisance any item “no longer safely usable for the purpose for which it was manufactured” and stored without shelter.
Asmus attorney Tom Spencer argued before Caldwell that the fixtures are not stored, and it is not for the village to decide whether an item is being used for its manufactured purpose. By that standard, he noted, residents who place wagon wheels and other items of “Americana” outside their homes should also be ticketed.
Spencer added that messages written on the planters – including one stating “God bless my neighbors” adds to their constitutionally protected nature.
“The fact of the matter is that they don’t like that her artistic expression happens to involve plumbing,” Spencer said. “They can’t just willy-nilly decide that they don’t like it. I don’t have to like it, you don’t have to like it, but it is her constitutional right.”
Lakemoor attorney Greg Waggoner said the village’s decision to cite Asmus has nothing to do with her art or her message, but rather with her medium.
“We’re not objecting to a sign,” Waggoner said. “But at the same time, a person can’t decide to put a sign on anything they choose and call it freedom of expression. This is a reasonable exercise of government authority.”
Asmus, who faces a $25 fine if found guilty of maintaining a public nuisance, continues to display the fixtures.
I think this is genius, sheer genius. DuChamps lives!
(Hat tip: Scissorhead rehctaw)
I’m calling it “The Other Phantom of the Opera,” or “Alone Again on a Saturday Night.”
Tonight’s installation comes to us courtesy of Scissorhead Bruce388, which I think tips him over to becoming a Bruce390.
I’m calling it, “They grow up so fast.”
Tonight’s submission comes to us from Scissorhead Lockwood, who seems to know something about the big guns himself.
Please send tips, suggestion, bad statues to: tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com.
Tonight’s installation comes to us courtesy of America’s Favorite Hypnotoad, the infamous Bing McGhandi of the inestimable blog, Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes.
HJ tells us:
The weird imp thing is the mascot of my former place of employ. If you rub the Billiken’s belly, it is supposed to be good luck, and all visitors to campus rub it. Given the high number of fraternities on campus, however, I always considered it likely to be the most pissed-on statue in the world.