Bat Wings, it is claimed, make the paratroops more maneuverable–and swifter.
Indeed.
I love, Love, LOVE the passive voice in that one, and I believe that these guys will be a helluva lot swifter. Not mentally, of course.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
I’m good, but no one has offered to bronze my condoms.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)
Oh yeah: Bacon-flavored lube exists. Don’t try to re-gift this for Hannukah.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)
The police never found his remains, yet always the gracious lady the mincemeat pie she gave them for trying to find her husband was lovely.
(Hat Tip: Scissorhead Dimitrios)
Five golden sperms!
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)
At last, the gift for the person who has everything.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead and unindicted co-conspirator GRS)
Well, that’s gonna confuse Rosey Palm and her 5 sisters.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)
Who wouldn’t love to find a scale under the tree?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Blue Gal)
Here in Silicon Valley, where tomorrow begins today, rumors have been flying for a while that the incompetent and crazed board of HP were on the verge of doing something, well, stupid. I mean different than usual.
HP has a long, proud track record of stupidity, from Carly “Fire ‘em all” Fiorina buying out huge peecee manufacturer Compaq, to Mark Hurd hiring mistresses, to Leo “I Only Know What I Learned At SAP” Apotheker to buying up Palm, to gutting Palm, to spinning off the peecee business, and now, it seems, to putting in place that other notorious CEO failure, E-Meg Whitman.
Former CEO at eBay, Whitman is famous here in the valley for the 2005 $2.6 Billion Skype acquisition that did not include the intellectual property rights and ultimately eBay in 2008 selling whatever it was that they bought back to the Skype founders for a billion and change. Nice work if you can get it.
Anyway, this makes eMeg uniquely qualified to run HP into the ground. And here’s the headline to show that eMeg is already on the job:
“There are gonna be heads exploding all over Washington!”
–Blam Blam to NBC’s Jamie Gangel
Why are they interviewing a known war-criminal and traitor? To help him promote his book? Cheney is as authentic as his beatless heart.
But… but… why are you offering your friends cigarettes in the first place if you don’t want them to smoke?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
It looks like the broaster chicken thingie at Safeway.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Dimitrios)
When product and eyes met for the first time, I was tingly all over; reminded of the many books and people who said “When you find your soul mate, you’ll know.”
Though our love was conceptual at first, i.e., maybe you touched your genitals. After connecting visually on so many levels, it blossomed into something deep and meaningful.
The simplicity was poetic… Forgetting I touched my genitals, why that’s as common as forgetting to wipe my ass after going super big potty. Or the time I walked through a crowd of people and fondled my nipples, so they would appear welcoming. Or, and this might sound silly, to make my labia majora more petite, I used uGlu; it was a special occasion.
Knowing there’s a product tailored for instances when my memories of genitalia fondling exists makes the world a better place. After all, at the end of the day, aren’t we just doing the best we can? Carrying two sanitizers, one for my hands and one for my genitals puts pep in my step.
The next time you’re at the store, be sure to look for, “Maybe you forgot you touched your genitals” sanitizer. I’m sure you’ll be as grateful you did as I am.
Katie
–
Thank you, wonderful MPS colleagues for passing this onto me.
And this is the participation in the Food Stamp Program before it gets slashed and burned by the New Austerity.
Good job, Wingnuttia. Those are your constituents, too.
They couldn’t post the languages? For $50, I want to know what my language choices are.
Gee, I can’t imagine why. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Thank you Womples.
I’m not kidding: my first studio apartment in L.A. had a delux version of this with an oven on the left, burners above, sink on the right fridge underneath. The burners were solid discs, not electric coils, and I think only two of them worked. my memory of it was that it rolled, but I could be mistaken on that. I mostly ate out.
And god help you if you needed a plumber for the sink.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
Sweet Baby Jeebus, I’m a white-knuckle flier as it is. Kill me now, airlines, kill me now.
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