PETA just fainted.
Also/too, sorry for the absence. My day just completely blew chunks (and Chunks never had the manners to say thank you). More or less normal tomorrow? Who knows!
(H/T Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
In honor of GOP’s Year-of-the-Women Week.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
Ah, nostalgia. Also: no corn syrup.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
…is true:
Let’s review the messaging, shall we:
Oh, yeah: Frothy approved this message.
February is Black History Month, and so let’s really make this sort of thing history.
(H/T Scissorhead Moeman)
I have no idea what they are selling, but damn if I don’t want some.
(H/T unindicted co-conspirator and Scissorhead GRS)
I don’t get it. These pants attract beautiful, short women?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
“Frank, if I’m going to brush off all that dandruff, you could at least have decent breath, you c***sucker.”
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
Well, just give them that old-time religion, I guess. Oh, and a nubile altar boy.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
Now I get his master plan.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
“Oh, two a day is my limit.”
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Dimitrios)
Well, now we know how Newticles plans to pay for his Moon Colony.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
Well, don’t let Willard see that.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
If only I had a can-o-meat for my sack-o-sauce.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)
Hubba-hubba! You mean you can make a living in the Ozarks?!
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Deborah)
Accept no subtitutes, it’s Mary Jane or… what are we talking about?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
CHUBBETTE!?
(Every former Boy Scout in the Scissorheads is probably snickering like Beavis and Butthead.)
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
You know, if you want to braise any Asians.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
This is what happens when you hire your old college roommate as your marketing department.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
Hubba-hubba! “Is it soup yet?”
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mike Flugennock)
What were they thinking?!
(Alternate caption: “Nine out of ten Santorums prefer…”)
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
“Peter Pans makes Merry-go-Rounds?” Well, I guess the secret really is in the faggotted seams.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
Is that what the kids are calling them these days?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Dimitrios)
My father would’ve plotzed if my mother had asked for a Mechanical Willie.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
Maybe I should have been a picky eater as a kid?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
Look out boys, she’s a man-eater!
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-Dennis)
He’s like the Pied Piper for your children’s feet.
Treasure of Pleasure? What are they selling, and to whom?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
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