Noted Volcano Scholar and famous Boy Exorcist Bobby Jindal has withdrawn his plan to eliminate corporate income taxes (and personal income taxes, too) and replace them with a sales tax:
“In a speech opening the 2013 legislative session, Jindal is telling lawmakers that he is taking his plan off the table even as he said he will not “pout” or “take his ball and go home,” instead asking lawmakers to develop and pass their own version of a plan to phase out the state’s income tax, according to a copy of the governor’s prepared remarks.”
Get that: my plan is dead, so you guys get to make my plan. No, really:
“I realize that some of you think I haven’t been listening. But you’ll be surprised to learn I have been. And here is what I’ve heard from you and from the people of Louisiana — yes, we do want to get rid of the income tax, but governor you’re moving too fast… Already, several of you have filed plans that phase out the income tax. So, let’s work together to pass a bill this session to get rid of our state income tax.”
Hey guys, did you know that the reason the GOP lost the election was because the GOP did not communicate their economic positions clearly? It’s True!, according to boy exorcist, volcano scholar, and Kenneth-the-Page impersonator Bobby (Bubba) Jindal.
Voucher-crazed theocrat Jindal thinks that young people will flock to the GOP if they could just get the right dog whistle message to them because, you know, kids are down with the oppression of gay people and think that corporations just don’t have enough power, and you know, chicks dig not controlling their vaginas.
Actually, Bubba, I suspect that the kids, ethnic minorities, and women (demographics the GOP lost by huge majorities) understand your message all too well, but good luck on telling your base to quit being stupid at the same time you promote the same, hateful, fascist, and misogynist policies.
The axiomatic thing to do with politics in general, and the Republicans in particular is to listen to Deep Throat’s advice to Woodward and Bernstein: Follow the money.
So, when Xristian Xrazie boy exorcist Bobby Jindal tells us with a straight face that the Republicans ought to be out of the Birth Control Wars and make contraception available over the counter, follow the money.
This at first blush seems like an excellent idea until you realize that very expensive medicine like birth control would no longer be covered by your insurance company if it was available over the counter. I suppose people who are enrolled in a good benefits program could include birth control in a use-it-or-lose-it pre-tax Health Savings Account, but that will probably be a small proportion of the population. Eventually demand might lower the prices, but that is a long time to wait, and not all birth control is prescribed for family planning purposes.
So, in one small policy statement Jindal has done a trifecta: he’s crafting a reasonable personae for the 2016 Goat Rodeo, he’s offering what appears to be a good policy proposal to remove birth control from the culture wars, and he is ensuring that birth control will remain out of reach.
Noted Volcano scholar and boy exorcist Louisiana’s Governor Bobby “Bubba” Jindal is traveling today to Iowa today to tell the natives there how the law works and that’s why they should keep teh gays down, because when the Iowa Supreme Court did their job and ruled on the matter before them, well, it was beyond the pale.
Anyway Piyush is joined in Iowa with that mix of lube and fecal matter Frothy Santorum, so it should be a knee-slapping fun time as Iowans get a double scolding from two out-of-state Xristian Xrazies courtesy of hate group The Family Leader.
The GOP’s boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar should consider bottling this stuff. He’s got it down cold:
A Romney aide says the GOP nominee was invited to Louisiana to tour storm damage by the state’s Republican governor, Bobby Jindal.
Because when your state is underwater and people are in boats and clinging to roofs, you invite the candidate of your party to tour the devastation, not the guy who actually can help your constituents. You let them suffer so Willard can look presidential.
And that Scissorheads, is your master class in pandering: putting politics ahead of people.
The GOP’s boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindalhas had it with this ‘Bama fellow (he doubts for not a moment that ‘Bama has ever been to ‘Bama), who for some reason, is not sending money to Bobby Jindal fast enough. Jindal has taken to writing letters to his parents whining for more allowance:
“Unfortunately, your limited declaration does not provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm,” Jindal said in his letter.
So what did ‘Bamz do?
President Obama on Monday declared a state of emergency for Louisiana, which is expected to be in the path of Tropical Storm Isaac.
The action by Obama makes federal funding to the state available immediately, but Jindal said it “only provides for direct federal assistance” and doesn’t “provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm.”
So in the best style of LA politician, Jindal wants the disaster money up front, probably so he can pay David Vitter’s hooker bill:
“The State’s expenditures for emergency protective measures are already approximately $8,000,000 and exceed the State of Louisiana’s threshold when making a request for a major disaster declaration,” the letter continued.
That’s a lotta Pampers, Dave, but whatevs. What else does Bubba have to say?
“A core responsibility of the federal government is to protect the lives and property of its citizens when threatened,” Jindal concludes in the letter. “This disaster declaration will help ensure that we best protect life and property in our state.”
Always be protecting the “property” Bubba! Your paymasters at BP appreciate these small touches.
Jindal, as you may recall, is fighting the scourge of socialism in his bottom-tier state and has rejected help from the Federal Government because like Scarlet O’Hara he’ll never be hungry again, or something. Anyway, he keeps turning down free Ameros from ‘Bamz to do something about healthcare in his state, and he’s given tax dollars to the Xristian Xrazies to teach the children of Louisiana that Jeebus rode a dinosaur but now he WANTS money to reimburse himself for the storm that is about to land.
It’s confusing, but it can best be summed up that small-gubmint Jindal wants some sweet, sweet big-gubmint tax dollars. So maybe government does some things right, eh Bobby?
(And as always our wishes and prayers–such as they are–go to the people who are in the path of this storm. Just because you have a jackass governor doesn’t mean you deserve Mother Nature pounding on your doors.)
I’m taking a muscle relxer, Scissorheads so my senses are a bit dulled. However, this story strikes me as News That Will Drive You To Drink:
It sounds like a hoax, but it’s apparently true: The Loch Ness Monster is on the science class syllabus for kids at Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, Louisiana.
As reported by the Herald Scotland (which must track all Loch Ness-related news), a school that will receive tax-payer dollars, will teach kids that the mythological sea creature is real in order to debunk the theory of evolution. So pay attention: That will be on the test.
Eternity Christian Academy uses the fundamentalist A.C.E. Curriculum to teach students “to see life from God’s point of view.”
According to the Herald, one textbook, Biology 1099, reads, “Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”
Starting in the fall, thousands of schoolchildren will receive publicly funded vouchers to attend private schools, some of which are religious. Religious schools in Louisiana will receive public funding as part of a push from Louisiana’s governor, Bobby Jindal, to move millions of tax dollars to cover tuition for private schools, including small bible-based church schools. Money will fund schools that have “bible-based math books” and biology texts that refute evolution.
At Eternity Christian Academy, pastor-turned-principal Marie Carrier says that the her first through eighth-grade students learn at their own pace from Christian workbooks. The beginning science text explains “what God made” on each of the six days of creation. Evolution is not taught.
Carrier said, “We try to stay away from all those things that might confuse our children.” She hopes to secure enrollment of 135 voucher students for the 2012-2013 school year. According to the website Salon, the school currently has just 38 students.
Whether this gambit will help move Louisiana from the bottom of math and science rankings in the country is unclear. A 2011 study of how well primary education prepares students for engineering careers had Louisiana third from the bottom, with only West Virginia and Mississippi performing worse.
Thus, the media begins the rehabilitation of The GOP’s favorite in-house Exorcist and noted volcano monitor, professional Mr. Rogers’ Impersonator and Governor of Louisiana, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal:
Constantly jumping in and out of National Guard helicopters and drawing up plans for additional “burrito levees” and “boudin bags” needed to stop the oil slick from flowing further into his state’s marshes, Jindal has quickly mastered the details of the issue. At a press conference in New Orleans in mid-May, the Washington Post reported that “he gave updates on the size of tar balls washing up in Port Fourchon (up to eight inches), the number of sandbags to be air-dropped (1,200) and state money spent to date ($3.7 million). He also provided a weather forecast (‘The winds continue to come out of the southeast, 10 to 15 knots’).”
Because it is all about appearances and words, not about actions. Tweetie couldn’t fellate Jindal better than this. The New Republic ought to be ashamed.
But, if the media were doing its job, it might remember to report this factoid from his Congressional career – he revived drilling in the gulf and got Chimpy to sign it into law:
In 2006, Jindal sponsored the Deep Ocean Energy Resources Act (H.R. 4761), a bill to eliminate the moratorium on offshore oil and gas drilling over the U.S. outer continental shelf. A poll taken while the bill was being debated, showed that 73% of the U.S. public supported the measure. Jindal argues that 30-40% of oil reserves of the United States are near the Louisiana coast and increased drilling would reduce American dependence on foreign oil.<109> This prompted the watchdog groups, Republicans for Environmental Protection as well as the nonpartisan League of Conservation Voters to rate him among the lowest in Congress in 2006.
“…you shake some chicken bones and chant three times, ‘In the Name of Jeebus, Devil be gone,’ and the oil spill will go away. Works every time.”
The GOP’s favorite in-house Exocist and noted volcano monitor, professional Mr. Rogers’ Impersonator and Governor of Louisiana, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal will be giving a live press update about 3:15 local time today. Cannot hardly wait!
Remember states-rights advocate LA Gov. Bubba Jindal, the professional Mr. Rogers Impersonator, volcano mocker and part-time exorcist and full-time Drill, Baby, Drill advocate? The man that tried to find a way to reject the Stimulus money? Seems that there is a big-assed oil slick heading his way, and now he is requesting help from the Federal Gubmint.
Why has his Republican God forsaken him? Immigrants is my guess!
And President Carebear – this is what happens when you co-opt and triangulate your opponents message, especially when your opponent is the GOP (motto: Destroy Everything). Offshore drilling has always been a bad idea, and so is nuclear energy. Learn your lesson and back away from the Clinton game book.
(And in all seriousness, LA deserves better than this feeble freak. They’ve taken it on the chin for years, and I’m hoping that this disaster (the oil spill) is cleaned up quickly and life can return to whatever is normal there.)
I’m reminded once again that the GOP’s own house Exorcist, Bubba Jindal felt that monitoring volcanoes was a waste of money. The cost estimate for the lost revenues for the airlines that are grounded due to the volcano in Iceland has already exceeded the billion dollar mark (95,000 flights canceled in the last week alone), and I have already heard whispers of an airline bailout proposal.
The appropriate response to the boy exorcist is neatly summed up in this classic Youtube clip:
Our favorite Mr. Rogers impersonator and noted Exorcist, the Volcano Scholar, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal, the good ‘ol boy governor of Louisiana is in the news again. You see, he loves Jeebus so much that he literally floats all over Louisiana, Rapture-like, on Sundays to attend Baptist Church service.
I’m completely just humbled and honored that I’m asked to come and worship with Louisianians across the state. It’s important for the governor to get out of Baton Rouge.
– Bubba Jindal
Not to worry, Bubba. I suspect the taxpayers of LA will get you out of Baton Rouge soon enough.
As you may recall, noted volcano expert and semi-professional Mr. Rogers impersonator, LA Governor Bobby “Bubba” Jindal fought the stimulus package tooth and nail, and was one of the GOP governors that actually successfully blocked federal money for unemployment compensation. You know, on principal (and in general disdain for his constituents, many of whom are dirt poor).
Well, here’s Bubba now giving a check to residents of Vernon Parish. The funds included hundreds of thousands of dollars directly from the Recovery Act that he fought so valiantly against, going so far as to blow up volcanoes in Mooselini’s Alaskastan.
The fun part? Besides that he put HIS OWN NAME ON THE CHECK? The fun part is that within 24 hours after this photo-op taking credit for the money, he also published an Op-Ed in Politico declaring that the stimulus failed.
Everyone’s favorite Exocist and noted volcano monitor, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal, who was thought to be the Great White Hope contender for the GOP nomination in 2012, is now rumored to be considering running for the Senate. From Tweety’s show yesterday:
Mr. HEILEMANN: I was down in New Orleans last week, and I heard a great
rumor that Bobby Jindal, who we were just talking about as a potential
presidential candidate for the Republican Party, is thinking about giving up
the governorship and running for Senate.
MATTHEWS: Against Vitter.
Mr. HEILEMANN: Against Vitter, or for Vitter’s seat if Vitter doesn’t run.
He’s got a terrible budget situation down there, he’s thrown himself into a
Republican primary up in Baton Rouge that he’s going to apparently get creamed
in. And I think what’s interesting about it is that it tells you that he’s
got the message that 2012 isn’t his year.
MATTHEWS: He’s got to wait it out a bit.
Mr. HEILEMANN: Yeah.
MATTHEWS: He’s red shirting himself.
Mr. HEILEMANN: Right, right.
Now, if this is true, it pits Diaperman against a Porn Star, and against The Exorcist-cum-Mr Rogers Impersonator, Bubba Jindal, for what will have to be the most fun primary in the history of electoral politics!
Alaska’s Mount Redoubt volcano erupted five times overnight, sending an ash plume more than 9 miles into the air in the volcano’s first emissions in nearly 20 years. Residents in the state’s largest city were spared from falling ash, though fine gray dust was falling Monday morning on small communities north of Anchorage. The ash began falling around daybreak and continued into midmorning. They were supposed to end by noon.
Remember your prime-time rebuttal to Obama’s state-of-the-union address? You know, the one in which you mocked volcano monitoring, and made up heroic stories about how you single-handedly rescued Katrina refugees? So, you wanna tell us again what you think about volcanoes, Exorcism Boy?
Or do you want to blame mean ol’ Mooselini for having an Alaskan volcano blow up to discredit your 2012 preznintial bid?
When he first heard about a Vatican-sponsored course on exorcism for priests, journalist Matt Baglio was intrigued by the idea of this ancient ritual taking place in the modern world. In his new book, The Rite, Baglio follows American priest Father Gary – sent to Rome to train as an exorcist – and his apprenticeship with Father Carmine. Baglio talked to TIME about belief, skeptical priests and the particulars of the exorcism ritual
Noted fibber and exorcist, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal was on Larry King, and quickly and obediently falls in line supporting the mighty wind, Rush Limbaugh:
I’m glad [Steele] apologized. I think the chairman is a breath of fresh air for the party. As I said before, I think Rush is a leader for many conservatives and says things that people are concerned about.
Here’s some more:
King: All right, governor, here was Rush Limbaugh at this weekend’s CPAC Conference. Watch.
Rush Limbaugh: What is so strange about being honest and saying I want Barack Obama to fail if his mission is to restructure and reform this country so that capitalism and individual liberty are not its foundation? Why would I want that to succeed?
King: Governor, do you think people are thinking about capitalism now or are they thinking about problems?
Jindal: Look, clearly, the American people are worried about paying their mortgages, keeping their jobs and paying their health care bills. I think Rush is a great leader for conservatives. I think he articulates what a lot of people are concerned about.
King: Do you want him [Obama] to fail?
Jindal: I don’t want those policies to be adopted. I want my country to succeed, but I don’t want policies to be adopted.
King: What if the policies work?
Jindal: Well, again…
King: What if they work?
Jindal: This is where we have a fundamental disagreement. I don’t think it’s going work … to spend in excess of our revenues.
Bubba is so clearly running for President, and like the rest of the sheep in the GOP, sees Rush as a kingmaker.
Here is Bubba Jindal telling the same lie back in 2008. It’s his favorite story. Maybe Bubba’s momma read it to his as a baby Bubba. He has different embroidery threads in this one, so it doesn’t really jive with what he said on national television.
BATON ROUGE – Louisiana’s transportation department plans to request federal dollars for a New Orleans to Baton Rouge passenger rail service from the same pot of railroad money in the president’s economic stimulus package that Gov. Bobby Jindal criticized as unnecessary pork on national television Tuesday night.
“The boats were all lined up ready to go – when some bureaucrat showed up and told them they couldn’t go out on the water unless they had proof of insurance and registration. I told him, ‘Sheriff, that’s ridiculous.’ And before I knew it, he was yelling into the phone: ‘Congressman Jindal is here, and he says you can come and arrest him too!’ Harry just told the boaters to ignore the bureaucrats and start rescuing people.”
The problem with Jindal’s recounting is that it may not have even happened. However, the one man who could have set the record straight — Democrat Harry Lee, “one of the most famous politicians in Louisiana history,” according to the Times-Picayune — passed away in late 2007.
“According to numerous reports, Harry Lee did not leave the affected area of New Orleans during the crisis,” wrote TPM’s Zachary Roth. “But there is no reported evidence of Jindal having set foot in the area during the period when people were still stranded on roofs — which, based on a review of news stories from the time, was only until September 3 at the very latest. Indeed, the evidence strongly suggests he did not.”
“We’ve reviewed [Lexis] Nexis and other sources, and can find no news reports putting Jindal on the ground in the affected area during the few days after Katrina struck when people might still have needed boats to rescue them from rooftops,” he added.
(Scarlett O’Hara as played by a non-southerner divided by demonically posessed Regan from the Exorcist) multiplied by (reader of children’s stories, Mr. Rogers, squared, added to the exotic and mysteriously unexplained sidekick of Johnny Quest, Hadji) equals oddly accented and noted exorcist, Reaganomics spouting teller of fables, Bubba Jindal.
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