“I don’t think right after a major environmental catastrophe is a very good time to be making American domestic policy. My thought about it is, we ought not to make American and domestic policy based upon an event that happened in Japan.
–Chinless Mitch on Fox News
He’s such a troll.
(NYTimes)
…is brought to us by The Cunning Runt of The Little Bang Theory fame:
TCR went to an orchid show, and trained his eye on some of the amazing beauty there. Orchids are deeply, sexy, dirty fun. Each exists to seduce a certain type of pollinator to come and sip nectar and to fertilize the ovaries. It does it by mimicking the female of the species that pollinates it. So some orchids look like butterflies in heat, or moths in lust, others look like bats or birds wanting to get their freak on. Some even give off the pheromone of the beastie that they are trying to attract.
Do you think they do a good job? Hell yeah!
Anyway, go to Little Bang Theory and marvel at the orchids and Mother Nature. If you can stand it, anyway. Hubba-hubba!
Oh, the insidious reach of the United Nations continues unabated, but for the grace of brave men like Dan Maes (a Colorado GOP candidate for Governor, not Tom Tancredo we add), we would all be building iPods in Shanghai or something, instead of being unemployed in Aspen or whatnot.
“This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed,” Maes said at a small campaign rally last week, according to the Post. “These aren’t just warm, fuzzy ideas from the mayor. These are very specific strategies that are dictated to us by this United Nations program that mayors have signed on to.”
So what is it, you ask?
Maes said in a later interview that he was referring to Denver’s membership in the International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives, an international association that promotes sustainable development and has attracted the membership of more than 1,200 communities, 600 of which are in the United States.
Maes said ICLEI is affiliated with the United Nations and is “signing up mayors across the country, and these mayors are signing on to this U.N. agreement to have their cities abide by this dream philosophy.”
The program includes encouraging employers to install showers so more people will ride bikes to work and also creating parking spaces for fuel-efficient vehicles, he said.
The horror! Getting fat slob Americans off the couch and out of the sedan and onto a bike is unAmerican. Buy gas now, just as a protest!
(TPM)
Um, Mooselini seems to think that Fort Knox is not in the USA and announces that she and Rupert Murdoch are going on moose murdering spree.
Murdoch and Mooselini are the Boris and Natasha of the media.
Wired tells us that the oil from the gulf will be in the Atlantic by “no later than October.“
We have another 800-word, sleep-written, reasonable centrist screed from Bobo! Rejoice!
Davy Brooks read another reasonable book from another reasonable political economist (there must be a book of the month club for reasonable people), Ian Bremmer. Bobo fails to mention that Bremmer is on the Faculty at the Hoover Institute (the hard right think tank at Stanford University) “where, at 25, he became the Institution’s youngest ever National Fellow.” In other words, Bremmer is a fellow traveler in the fine Brooksian tradition of wrapping hard right philosophy with a tasty chocolate coating. To make it more palatable.
Anyway, the theme today is that Capitalism is good. Statist Capitalism is bad. It seems to be an attempt to get us all to forgive BP for the gulf oil gusher, because, well, at least it was not Hugo Chavez.
But here is the key line that unfolds the whole origami swan covered in oil:
“Under state capitalism, market enterprises exist to earn money to finance the ruling class.”
Of course Bobo doesn’t mention that this is exactly what goes on under democratic capitalism. And I dare him to deny it.
So here in the US with our exceptional form of Capitalism, the schools are all failing, our infrastructure is crumbling, we have the slowest internet speeds in the developed world, most of our population is without healthcare (today), and we have officially about 10% unemployed and unofficially about 20% and above if you count underemployed. But thank god we give all our mineral rights to the extraction companies.
So, Davy, while the 2Big2Fail banks are all given bailouts (and giving themselves bonuses), Industrial Ag is kept alive with taxpayer subsidies, the Military-Industrial Complex gets as much of our taxpayer money as it wants while we slash benefits for our poorest and most fragile citizens, you want to lecture us that Venezuela, China, et al, who are using their economies to lift all boats are somehow evil?
You want to tell us that BP, who is only beholden to its shareholders, while the government is beholden to it’s citizens is a better model? Good luck with that.
…BP. And of course the USOC is just fine with BP as sponsors. In sports, Big Money is the same, no matter how tainted it might be.
Anyone else think it will be unintentionally hillarious to watch olympic class swimmers sponsored by BP, proud providers of coastlines where no one will be allowed to swim for a generation or two?
But on the bright side for the athelets, just about nothing that they do can be worse than their sponsor, so doubtful that BP will pull their sponsorship next time Michael Phelps lights up.
…for Pat Robertson to tell us why God hates the American South.
Remember his greatest hits:
Doesn’t it seem about time for Pat to tell us why God is punishing the American South with BP’s oil gusher?
Once it gets to this stage, it’s not poisonous. But if a small animal got coated enough with it, it could smother it. But if you got enough toothpaste on you, you couldn’t breathe.
– Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour, spinning the oil spill
Scissorheads -
Some photographers managed to get some shots of wildlife soaked in oil. It’s hard to look at, but I think we all need to realize the consequences of this terrible tragedy include lots of animals that did not ask for this.
If you want to see them, click here. I’m not reposting them – unlike Facebook, I’ll let you decide what you want to do.
Epcot by AwesomeFlorida.comBP’s slick will be on the Florida Peninsula by the weekend. But meanwhile a saw that the robot subs were using to cut the pipe has gotten stuck.
BP hires Cheney spokeswoman to lead PR effort
No mention if BP plans to shoot an old dude in the face yet.
Thus, the media begins the rehabilitation of The GOP’s favorite in-house Exorcist and noted volcano monitor, professional Mr. Rogers’ Impersonator and Governor of Louisiana, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal:
Constantly jumping in and out of National Guard helicopters and drawing up plans for additional “burrito levees” and “boudin bags” needed to stop the oil slick from flowing further into his state’s marshes, Jindal has quickly mastered the details of the issue. At a press conference in New Orleans in mid-May, the Washington Post reported that “he gave updates on the size of tar balls washing up in Port Fourchon (up to eight inches), the number of sandbags to be air-dropped (1,200) and state money spent to date ($3.7 million). He also provided a weather forecast (‘The winds continue to come out of the southeast, 10 to 15 knots’).”
Because it is all about appearances and words, not about actions. Tweetie couldn’t fellate Jindal better than this. The New Republic ought to be ashamed.
But, if the media were doing its job, it might remember to report this factoid from his Congressional career – he revived drilling in the gulf and got Chimpy to sign it into law:
In 2006, Jindal sponsored the Deep Ocean Energy Resources Act (H.R. 4761), a bill to eliminate the moratorium on offshore oil and gas drilling over the U.S. outer continental shelf. A poll taken while the bill was being debated, showed that 73% of the U.S. public supported the measure. Jindal argues that 30-40% of oil reserves of the United States are near the Louisiana coast and increased drilling would reduce American dependence on foreign oil.<109> This prompted the watchdog groups, Republicans for Environmental Protection as well as the nonpartisan League of Conservation Voters to rate him among the lowest in Congress in 2006.
Poor baby, Tony Hayward theoretically apologized to all the people whose life he has wrecked with the oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico, and then concluded his apology that he would like his life back.
The first thing to say is I’m sorry,” Tony Hayward said when asked what he would tell people in Louisiana, where heavy oil has already reached parts of the state’s southeastern marshes.
“We’re sorry for the massive disruption it’s caused their lives. There’s no one who wants this over more than I do. I would like my life back.”
Yes, Tony, because it is all about you.
(Meanwhile, officials say tha the leak may leak unabatted until August.)
Getty – President Carebear sprouts antlers, he’s so angry.President Carebear has fired Liz Birnbaum, who was the head of Porn and Meth administration that also (too?) was somehow in charge of oil rig inspections. However, Ken Salazar says that she resigned “on her own terms and own volition,” which is Washington speak for spending time with her family, which means she will be porn surfing at home.
Meanwhile, BP is now not so sure about their mud-packing into the butt of the earth to stop it from spewing forth earth-butt stuff onto Bubba Jindal, Boy Exorcist. Oh, and it is now officially the worst oil disaster in the history of the republic.
Ha ha ha! The EPA is threatening Texas with taking over regulating air quality in Texas because they are doing such a crap job of it.
In 3… 2… 1…
The Obama administration has taken yet another step in its campaign to harm our economy and impose federal control over Texas. On behalf of those Texans whose jobs are threatened by this latest overreach and in defense of not only our clean air program but also our rights under the 10th Amendment, I am calling upon President Obama to rein in the EPA.
– Governor Goodhair Rick Perry
And so there you have it. Citizen of Kenya, Language-of-the-Koran-speaking, Closet-Muslim, socialist, magic-negro overlord, re-education camp counselor, and Nobel laureate President Carebear is trying to conquer Texas, and it is only Rick Perry that is standing between yellow-aired freedom and Worker Paradise #2 of our Maoist dictator.
(Loved the veiled threat of the 10th Amendment, too.)
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)
…we think it prudent to remind our readers to not try this at home.
Oops, wrong vid.
They are gonna try an’ clog the pipe using a lot drilling oil, which sounds gross to me, and remember, not all lubricants are safe.
The good news: Mermaids are real. The bad news: they’re pissed off.
…watch what he does.
In the days since President Obama announced a moratorium on permits for drilling new offshore oil wells and a halt to a controversial type of environmental waiver that was given to the Deepwater Horizon rig, at least seven new permits for various types of drilling and five environmental waivers have been granted, according to records.
Maybe the Gulf Oil Disaster should be converted to Christianity?
What an assrocket.
Boulder Man Hopes to Stop Gulf Oil Gusher Using Meditation
The basic concept is to try and get as many people to visualize that the valve is actually functioning and is working and closing… I’m very known for fixing things and making things work,” Fuermann said, adding that he believes his meditation helped fix a friend’s Flip video camera. “I visualize things working and hold the belief that they actually work.
– Carl Fuermann, a staff member in the University of Colorado’s Registrar Office.
Sweet baby Jeebus on a pogo stick! That’s just one step removed from Chimpy’s GOPers creating their own reality!
(Hat tip: SkinnyDennis)
…terrible wind spills?
Anyway, timing is everything, the Gallup Poll released the following startling opinion only a few weeks ago:
Americans are more likely to say the U.S. should prioritize development of energy supplies than to say it should prioritize protecting the environment, the first time more have favored energy production over environmental protection in this question’s 10-year history.
Now, in all fairness, the poll was taken at the beginning of March, even before President Carebear through the environmentalists under the bus. Today we learn:
Federal officials are considering a number of high-risk and high-reward options to cap the runaway oil well in the Gulf…
The report warned that “if the riser pipe deteriorates further, the flow could become unchecked.” That could release millions of gallons of oil per day instead of the 210,000-gallon current estimate.
So I wonder what the next Gallup Poll to cover energy vs. the environment will show?
Oh, I’d be remiss without an update from Spill, Baby, Spill Mooselini:
Courtesy of Keith_not_KeithIn a 30-minute speech to a Republican crowd in Kansas City Saturday, the onetime Republican vice presidential nominee dubbed the gulf spill “very tragic” but added: “I want our country to be able to trust the oil industry.”
How’s that oily-drilly thing workin’ out for ya, Mooselini??
So, Drill, Baby, Drill comes back to haunt you, eh?
What is a grifter to do when her slogan becomes the punchline for what has the potential of being the greatest ecological disaster of the new century? All the praying in the world isn’t going to help. Nice try, and be sure to pick up your gift bag from the Oil Companies that made you into their Pets.com sock puppet, you stupid twat-waffle.
OK, while the GOP is now stating that the BP explosion is President Carebear’s Katrinia, they seem to not be paying attention to this little nugget buried in the news stories: Although the cause of the explosion was under investigation, many of the more than two dozen lawsuits filed in the wake of the explosion claim it was caused when workers for oil services contractor Halliburton Inc. improperly capped the well — a process known as cementing. Halliburton denied it.
When last we left Doughy Pantload, he was saying something disingenuous about something or other.
Haha, I jest, he always is disingenuous, but he has struck a strange note today, he is whinging over the terrible oil spill off the coast of Jeebusland, but not for the environmental havoc that it will wreak, but that it will support the cause of those DFH, the environazis; that is, Liberal Fascists:
Obviously, if I thought the oil-rig disaster was a calamity on Tuesday, I think it even more of one now. And if it really does take three months to stop the leak, the environmental catastrophe could be a mortal wound to offshore oil drilling, particularly the deep-water stuff. Three months of oil-covered birds leading the nightly newscasts. Three months of politicians hearing from their justifiably fearful constituents. Three months of environmentalists saying “we told you so.”
If it doesn’t take three months, if they get this thing fixed sooner rather than later, it’ll still be awful and critics of offshore drilling will still have ample ammo. But it’s worth noting that unless you’re going to abandon oil altogether, the case for offshore drilling — and domestic drilling generally — still has a lot of merit, even on environmental terms. Oil tankers are still way more dangerous than oil rigs. Thousands of tankers traversing the oceans raises the risks of spills considerably more than rigs close to shore.
Still, speaking as a longtime supporter of expanding our exploitation of domestic oil, this is just awful.
It will be just like the Vietnam war being fought in our living rooms, losing the hearts and minds because of “Three months of oil-covered birds leading the nightly newscasts.” You know an environmental disaster and a collapse of an ecosystem are small change compared to having cheap gas for his Escalade.
(NRO)
Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating.
I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher.
The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”?
If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.
You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
(From the Minneapolis Star Tribune)
Traitor Joe, that most opportunistic of all parasites, virtual brain herpes, must be thinking that the Dims are losing power again. How do I know? Because he is having idealogical sleepovers with Miss Lindsey Graham and Grandpa Walnuts again. When is Harry Reid going to kick this rat bastard’s ass to the curb?
Today’s topic: Nuclear Power in the climate change bill. Politico tells us that Traitor Joe is once again agitating for it:
Lieberman believes that including greater funding for coal and nuclear energy could make the bill more attractive to Republicans and conservative Democrats. The Republicans in his group agree — but some say that increasing support for nuclear power is unlikely to be enough to win their votes.
Meet Arizona state Senator Sylvia Allen (R- Young Earth), who wants to open up Arizona for uranium mining. After all, the earth has been here for 6,000 years and we haven’t destroyed it yet, so we don’t need no stinkin’ environment laws…
(Via pharyngula)
Yes, the Wingnuts have discovered timers and have set one to count down until, well… um, until they will take drastic action!
In this instance drastic action seems to mean that they will purge their party of the eight (8) traitors (tr8tors — get it?!) that voted for the Cap and Trade bill in the house. Never mind that the bill will either fail in the Senate or mutate to something so strange and different that it is unrecognizable…
We here at Mock, Paper, Scissors salute the brave little soldiers of Wingnuttia and want to encourage them to continue purging their party of elected officials. It’s the American thing to do, and matches our agenda exactly.
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