The Morning Quote

Posted by Tengrain Monday, April 8th, 2013

“I don’t understand it. The purpose of the United States Senate is to debate and to vote and to let the people know where we stand.”

–Grandpa Walnuts does not understand how his party has used the filibuster to prevent even debate on various issues, this time guns.

(The Hill)

I’m OK, You’re An Idiot

Posted by Tengrain Monday, April 25th, 2011

Someone let crazy unka Pat out of the home again, and now he’s claiming that liberals want to kill babies to make lesbians feel better about themselves or something.

Woman Hating Woman Still Hates Women

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Phylus Schlafly has written another screed about feminism. The HuffPo have a Q&A, and I could not help but notice this exchange:

Where were conservatives when the divorce rate got out of hand?

Phyllis: They were quietly raising their own families.

Let’s fact-check that one:

  • Twice-married Saint Ronnie–divorced Jane Wyman and married Nancy “Just Say No” Davis (pregnant, so obviously she sometimes said yes). Never attended his children’s weddings.
  • Twice-married Grandpa Walnuts–divorced wife #1 after she was disfigured in a car accident to marry booze heiress that he affectionately calls The C-Word.
  • Triple-married Rudy Giulianni–he loved his family so much, he even married his cousin. Between marriages he shacked up with some gay pals. Estranged from his children.
  • Triple-married Newtie Gingrich–serial adulterer, he always cheated on the current wife with the next incumbent. The man had standards, but clearly the wives did not. Calista Blow Job Queen #3 converted him to Catholicism.
  • Quadruple-married Junkie Limbaugh–the less said the better.

(HuffPo)

Flashback Friday: Nonnie Edition

Posted by Tengrain Saturday, January 1st, 2011

Golly, I’m such a lame-o! I just realized I lost a Flashback Friday somewhere in the mess of the holidays… and I also learned that all this time my buddy and collaborator Nonnie from Hysterical Raisins was not on the blogroll, and I feel like a cheap heel (so not-Nordstrom, and yes, gag me with a spoon).

Anyway, as the heel that I am, I would walk 500 miles for Nonnie, and you should too. She totally rules.

Happy Blog-o-versary to…

Posted by Tengrain Friday, January 29th, 2010

pop

Mock, Paper, Scissors, which turns four-years old today!

Who’da thunk it, the little blog that could, just chuggin’ along, going from invisible to merely unnoticed after all this time!

Many thanks to all the Scissorheads for pushing us along and putting up with all the snark; MPS is really all of ours, we wouldn’t do it except for you, the most incorrigible band of spit-ballers on the ‘tubes. And a special thanks to Tex for being the best unindicted co-conspirator and partner-in-crime we could hope for.

I would be remiss if I did not mention several people who have had such a great influence here:

  • Morse – my blog-father who encouraged me to start this thing.
  • Watertiger – who has given me so many opportunities and encouragement. And inspiration.
  • Bluegal – who has done more to promote MPS that I have.
  • The crew at The Big Blog – who link here now and again and make the ticker thingy spin like a top. Thank you so much, Mike, for giving us little guys a chance to be seen!

From the bottoms of my toes to the tip of my nose, thank you all for everything you do!

Justice in America: the balloon gets off, free

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, November 12th, 2009

balloon-boy-mccain

Richard and Mayumi Heene, the parents of Falcon, the so-called “Balloon Boy,” will plead guilty to crimes in the case, according to the couple’s lawyer.

How to know when a hobby has gone too far…

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, October 28th, 2009


Wall Street Journal

…when you convert your entire garage into a model of a 747 cabin, perhaps?

I really enjoyed the article, and frankly, I’d have cocktails with Dude in his garage if I was invited. That level of fandome always fascinates me.

Soylent Blonde’s Sex-change Rumors Laid to Rest

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

soylent sex change

I’m told she actually graduated from Columbia. Do they grade on the curve?

(yeah, this one is for Watertiger.)