“[The Kenyan Usurper] sees the world and Israel from a Muslim perspective.”
–Rev. E.W. Jackson, Virginia’s GOP nominee for lieutenant governor, in his acceptance speech.
Virginia is cutting to the chase and nominating preachers now in their quest to form a theocracy.
“You’re casting aspersions on my asparagus.”
–Screwy, Louis Gohmert, pride of Texas
“[If the Boy Scouts don't maintain their anti-gay policy] then what do we stand for as a country?”
–Rep. Steve Palazzo (R-MS)
Palazoo is such a schmuck, he’ll probably get his dick caught in the zipper of his body bag. Only guessing, of course.
“We’re anti-squishy men, we like really hard men.”
–Republican strategist Mary Matalin, who is married to James Carville, talking about Ted Cruz.
Think I’m gonna barf now…
“There are many employers that say we’re looking for people but we can’t find anybody that has passed a drug test, a lot of them. And that’s a concern for me because we’re having a serious problem with that.”
–Tom Corbett, PA Governor explaining why unemployment is so high in his state.
“All of us are fallible, we make mistakes, we say things the wrong way. I’ve relived that moment many, many times.”
–Todd Akin on his infamous legitimate rape comment.
The quote bothers me because of the we say things the wrong way clause. So… what was the right way to say what you meant, Todd?
“However, conservatism begins with facing facts.”
–George Will, the Living Museum of ’80s Power Ties, said apparently without irony.
–Deneen Borelli to famous lantern-jawed white person Sean Hannity, who would probably enjoy such a war, if it actually existed.
“Hispanics and blacks tend to not be as good swimmers as whites, and many more black Americans and Hispanics, actually those kids don’t know how to swim. This is just putting — it’s not good.”
–Crystal Wright, editor of ConservativeBlackChick.com, speaking to Tucker Carlson, frozen teevee dinner heir.
“Could a father not marry his son?”
–Jeremy Irons, opining on Marriage Equality, but when reminded that would be incest replied,
“It’s not incest between men. Incest is there to protect us from inbreeding, but men don’t breed.”
“And I pointed out, well, once you make it ten [bullets in a round], then why would you draw the line at ten? What’s wrong with nine? Or eleven? And the problem is once you draw that limit ; it’s kind of like marriage when you say it’s not a man and a woman any more, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not somebody has a love for an animal? “
–Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) explaining how gun control leads to gay marriage and beastiality.
“Oh, no question, I would clean his clock… Just one knock on the head. It’s done.”
–Michael Steele, former chairman of the RNC talking about who would win a steel-cage death match with his successor, Reince Priebus. So… who would ask him such a stupid question? Andrea Tantaros, of course.
“He’s got the rifle, I’ve got the rack!”
–Sarah Palin, Alaska’s part-time Governor and full-time grifter at CPAC
UPDATE: Because you didn’t believe me:
“Just because I believe states should have the right to define marriage in a traditional way does not make me a bigot.”
–Marco Rubio
No, Marco, it makes you a Xristian Xrazie homophobic bigot.
“It was the left that got us into this mess, that’s a fact.”
–Sen. Pat Toomey (R-Denial) explaining that Bush and the GOP policies had nothing to do with the Financial Crisis. At CPAC, of course.
“It is good politics to oppose the black guy in the White House right now, especially for the Republican Party.”
–S.C. Rep. Kris Crawford (R-no duh)
“We believe that [Obamacare] is going to collapse under its own weight… This to us is something that we’re not going to give up on, because we’re not going to give up on destroying the health care system for the American people.”
–Paul Ryan
“We love you. We won’t discriminate against you as gay and lesbian persons, God willing, in the future. But marriage is not in the cards for you.”
–Helen Alvare, George Mason University Law School professor, today, on Focus on the Family’s radio program
“I don’t think there’s any Bush baggage at all. I love my brother, I’m proud of his accomplishments, I love my dad, I am proud to be a Bush.”
–The Smart Bush
(I think we just found Peggy Noonan’s missing Porter at the airport hotel in Pittsburg.)
“Obama’s the one who never worked a day in his life. He never earned a penny that wasn’t public money. How many fund-raisers does he attend every week? How often does he play basketball and golf? I wish I had that kind of time. He’s lazy, but the media won’t report that.”
–Roger Ailes, Fox News’ gelatinous news chief responding to Hilary Rosen’s comment that Ann Romney, mother of five, had never worked a day in her life.
So, let’s summarize, shall we? The President is:
Being from New York we’re not supposed to be suckers. It’s bad enough that [Marco Rubio and others] voted against [Hurricane Sandy Relief], that’s inexcusable enough. But to have the balls to come in and say, ‘We screwed you, now make us president?’”
–Rep. Peter King upon learning that Rubio is fundraising in NYC with the banksters.
(Mediaite)
“Is it the government’s submission that citizens in the South are more racist than citizens not in the South?”
–SCOTUS Chief Justice John Roberts on the Voting Rights Act.
No, not everyone in the South is racist, that’s silly. However to need to ask if there is a problem with racism in The Confederacy is absurd.
“After watching Barack and Hillary billing-and-cooing for 30 minutes, I suspect that by the time he got home, Michelle was waiting with a rolling pin and a ton of attitude, wanting to know where he got off cozying up to that honky b–ch.”
–BURT PRELUTSKY, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times, a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine and a freelance writer for TV Guide, Modern Maturity, the New York Times and Sports Illustrated.
This quote is from his column in World Nut Daily
“I haven’t forgotten about Benghazi. Hillary Clinton got away with murder, in my view.”
–Senatorette Miss Huckleberry Closetcase
The ghost of Vince Foster seeks his revenge!
Huckleberry is going to be primaried. He’s acting all butch and macho for his base of mouth-breathing paste-eaters, but notice that Kerry got his confirmation vote.
UPDATE:
“The one thing I’m not going to do is vote on a new secretary of Defense until the old secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, who I like very much, testifies about what happened in Benghazi.”
“Texas was bluer then than it is red now, and as a young, single female, “the theme was that I couldn’t possibly be conservative. I was a woman, and women are always flakes” – and thus liberal, I think she means.”
–Kay Bailey Hutchison, former Texas Senator, and current self-loathing flake.
(WaPo via Hat tip: Scissorhead Fran)
“I’m just honored to even have a voice that matters a little bit.”
– Former Utah Gov. Jon-John Hunstman
You are an inspiration to us all, Jon-John.
(BuzzFeed)
I’m not going to raise the debt ceiling unless we get serious about keeping the country from becoming Greece, saving Social Security and Medicare [sic]. So here’s what i would like: meaningful entitlement reform — not to turn Social Security into private accounts, not to take a voucher approach to Medicare — but, adjust the age for Social Security, CPI changes and means testing and look beyond the ten-year window. I cannot in good conscience raise the debt ceiling without addressing the long term debt problems of this country and I will not.
Or the shorter version of Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase: “As God is mah witness, Ah’ll never get primaried again.”
“I have never seen anything quite like this in my 3 1/2 years on Capitol Hill”
–Luke Russert, exhibit A in why nepotism is never a good policy.
Newsweek’s own Libertarian, Megan McArdle, brilliant strategist that she is, has the WWI tactical solution for when you find yourself in a gun battle:
“I’d also like us to encourage people to gang rush shooters, rather than following their instincts to hide; if we drilled it into young people that the correct thing to do is for everyone to instantly run at the guy with the gun, these sorts of mass shootings would be less deadly, because even a guy with a very powerful weapon can be brought down by 8-12 unarmed bodies piling on him at once. Would it work? Would people do it? I have no idea; all I can say is that both these things would be more effective than banning rifles with pistol grips.”
Ever see the movie Galipoli, Megan?
Jeebus, some people.
“Gun control supporters have the blood of little children on their hands. Federal and state laws combined to insure that no teacher, no administrator, no adult had a gun at the Newtown school where the children were murdered. This tragedy underscores the urgency of getting rid of gun bans in school zones. The only thing accomplished by gun free zones is to insure that mass murderers can slay more before they are finally confronted by someone with a gun.”
–Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America
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