A popular talking point of the Left is that Grandpa Walnuts took one look at 31 years of The Willard Mechanism’s taxes and bolted to the warm (if not loopy) embrace of Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin. It makes for a good sound byte, but then some jerk at Politico had to ruin everyone’s fun and ask Walnuts why he selected Mooselini as his running mate and not our favorite time-traveling magical panties enthusiast.
Walnuts, never having met a microphone that he did not want to make sweet, sweet monkey love to, of course could not say the truth (“MILF,” but we’re only guessing), but instead said that Mooselini was the best candidate:
“Oh come on, because we thought that Sarah Palin was the better candidate. Why did we not take [Tim] Pawlenty, why did we not take any of the other 10 other people. Why didn’t I? Because we had a better candidate, the same way with all the others. … Come on, why? That’s a stupid question.”
OK, Walnuts, damning Willard with faint praise there, aren’t we? Mooselini was better than Willard? Really?
However, Steve Schmidt (who did not see the tax returns, he swears!) said something that might be closer to the truth:
Steve Schmidt, McCain’s top campaign adviser in 2008, told the Huffington Post that the contents of the tax returns were not viewed as a problem for their campaign. But Romney’s vast wealth was seen as a political liability that McCain could ill afford, he said.
“Sen. McCain got caught flat-footed answering a question about how many houses he owned,” Schmidt told the news website. “In fact, they were Cindy McCain’s properties but that distinction was lost in the political optics and we knew it would be a big liability that the presidential and the vice presidential candidates together owned more than a dozen homes. It was like something out of a ‘Saturday Night Live’ skit. I mean, come on.”
So there we have it: Mooselini was less problematic than Willard because between Willard and CindyPills, too much of a good thing was, well, too much.
But then again Walnuts almost sank as many fighter jets as he owns homes, so we give him the benefit of the doubt. After all the old maverick is a war hero. Oh, and incase Willard’s campaign didn’t say it: thanks for the fingerf***, Superman.