Famous friend of hookers everywhere and notorious toe-sucking pundit Dick Morris is offering another explanation for why Mitt Romney lost the 2012 Goat Rodeo to the Kenyan Usurper: Hurricane Sandy kept whites from voting.
Yeah, New England was gonna go for The Stench and The Granny-Starver. Good chat, Dick.
(Petunia and Pals)
It’s almost like Steve Doocy never noticed that each month when the new BLS numbers come out that they refine and revise the previous numbers as better data becomes available.
On a related note, Scientists report that goldfish are able to remember things for a few seconds.
“We have 54 trees in the White House… 54! That’s a lot of trees,” said Michelle Obama, decorously refraining from calling them Christmas trees. We, the taxpayers, paid for them, whether they symbolize anything religious or not. We’re also paying various costs associated with the First Family’s trip to Hawaii from December 17 to January 6.
54 Christmas trees and they’re leaving town a week before Christmas?!
It’s almost as if Outsouse doesn’t know that the Christmas trees are dedicated to the Armed Services and other public figures of note, honoring them, but whatever. Althouse needs her wine refreshed while she wonders (in Cokie Roberts’ style) why does the Obama family goes to someplace so foreign as Hawaii (in Kenya? Yes) for Christmas every year.
John Heilemann “accidentally” calls Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham a woman on Morning Joe. Hilarity ensues.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead and unindicted co-conspirator Axel Grease)
Let’s start with his lede:
President Obama is assembling his new national security team, with Senator John Kerry possibly heading for the Pentagon and U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice the perceived front-runner to become secretary of state. Kerry is an excellent choice for defense. I don’t know Rice at all, so I have no opinion on her fitness for the job, but I think the contrived flap over her Libya comments certainly shouldn’t disqualify her. That said, my own nominee for secretary of state would be the current education secretary, Arne Duncan.
First off, “I don’t know Rice at all, so I have no opinion on her fitness for the job,” has never stopped a pundit from an opinion, and besides I thought the whole purpose of the village was that the Villagers know everyone worth knowing.
Secondly, Arne Duncan?
By all means, insert a Race-to-the-Top clause in all of our international negotiations. “Well, yes, Israel, but only if you improve your test scores.” Oh, schweet Jeebus, I was only kidding:
“…it would be very helpful to have a secretary of state who can start a negotiating session with Hamas leaders (if we ever talk with them) by asking: “Do you know how far behind your kids are?”
So how many Friedman Units until he nominates Michelle Rhee, and makes the SOS a profit center?
There are big changes at the AP! They’ve decided that Homophobia and Ethnic-Cleansing are words to not use:
“Ethnic cleansing is a euphemism for pretty violent activities, a phobia is a psychiatric or medical term for a severe mental disorder. Those terms have been used quite a bit in the past, and we don’t feel that’s quite accurate,” said AP Deputy Standards Editor Dave Minthorn… “Homophobia especially — it’s just off the mark. It’s ascribing a mental disability to someone, and suggests a knowledge that we don’t have. It seems inaccurate. Instead, we would use something more neutral: anti-gay, or some such, if we had reason to believe that was the case.”
Got that? So the noun (phobia) and the suffix (-phobia) are interchangeable in their minds.
Here’s a quick lesson to help them sharpen their skills:
The anti-gay boss fires the gay guy, the homophobe kills him.
We hope that clears up any ambiguity, Mr. AP.
Anyway, the new AP Style Book comes out in 2013.
“Let us accept Rev. Al’s point and the president’s point about fairness,” Fiorina replied. “But equally, it is not fair that public employee union pensions and benefits are so rich now that cities and states are going bankrupt and college tuition is going up 25 and 30 percent or police and firefighters are being cut. There’s a lot that isn’t fair right now.”
For the record, Fiorina is the person who started the first big wave of technology mass-firings and off-shoring to low-wage counties like India and China. During her brief tenure at HP, Fiorina fired over 18,000 employees and coined the phrase Right-sizing to dismiss it. When the Board canned her, she got a very fair $43 Million golden parachute for her troubles.
Petunia and Pals weekend B-Team covers the Kenyan Usurper’s visit to Thailand and only reports on the attractiveness of the Prime Minister.
And you guys thought I was kidding when I said that I thought she was a lush? And I’m not the only one. Even Gawker get’s it.
(BuzzFeed)
I generally try to stay away from Jen, I find her brand of pit bull attacks to be lazy, cheap, and sleazy, but today she starts trying to rehab herself following the spectacular implosion of The Willard Mechanism, for whom she carried water lo these many months:
Until October [Willard's campaign] was the Perils of Pauline campaign. It moved in fits and starts on foreign policy. The message was rarely consistent from day to day. Gobs of ads were aired to no apparent effect. The convention speech was a huge missed opportunity. Romney made a lunge now and then in the direction of immigration reform and an alternative health-care plan without giving those topics the attention they deserved. The communications team was the worst of any presidential campaign I have ever seen — slow and plodding, never able to capitalize on openings. It was hostile, indifferent and unhelpful to media, conservative and mainstream alike.
Matters did improve once Ed Gillespie moved forward to take charge of the message. A message at least became discernible. The ads certainly were simpler, more direct and more attuned to making a case for Romney’s agenda. But if not for a stunning series of performances in the debates and unexpected eloquence on the stump in the last month, Romney almost surely would have done worse than he did. A presidential race needs more than a good month to be successful.
Now, of course, all of this flies in the face of what she has previously written, and Media Matters breaks it down for us:
Rubin now: “The convention speech was a huge missed opportunity.”
Rubin then: “Mitt Romney accepted the nomination of his party for president with a speech that showed he can rise to an occasion, and let us see a side of him that was compelling and heartbreaking.” [Right Turn, 8/30]
Rubin now: “Romney made a lunge now and then in the direction of immigration reform and an alternative health-care plan without giving those topics the attention they deserved.”
Rubin then: “The media are doing their best to disguise the unpleasant fact that Mitt Romney has been more forthcoming on immigration than the president has in more than three years in office.” [Right Turn, 6/24] “This isn’t that hard: Romney will repeal Obamacare. He has always favored protection for people with preexisting conditions who move from one employer-provided plan to another or from an individual-purchased to an employer-provided plan.” [Right Turn, 9/10]
Rubin now: “The communications team was the worst of any presidential campaign I have ever seen — slow and plodding, never able to capitalize on openings.”
Rubin then: “The Romney team, to a greater degree than most campaigns, has been criticized and lampooned. Too timid. Too unfocused. Too slow. Too inept. But this week demonstrated that the campaign officials are more skilled than they have been depicted, and their errors and stumbles have in large part been obliterated in the lingering glow of the convention. There is some personal vindication for them as well.” [Right Turn, 8/31]
Rubin now: “But if not for a stunning series of performances in the debates and unexpected eloquence on the stump in the last month, Romney almost surely would have done worse than he did. A presidential race needs more than a good month to be successful.”
Rubin then: “We’ve made the case that not only the first presidential debate but the debates as a whole recast the race and vaulted Mitt Romney into a position to win the race. Pollster Charlie Cook is the latest election guru to agree.” [Right Turn, 10/31]
OK, so we know that she is a lying sack of elephant poo, nothing to see here, move along… but the point of the matter is that she draws a paycheck, she gets a certain amount of credibility by being a WaPo columnist/blogger. There should be a moment of accountability for all of the so-called Public Intellectuals.
In my career, anyone who was that spectacularly, demonstrably wrong–documented every day, in fact–would be walked to the door. If His Willardness was a product launch and the Marketing Team (Rubin in this metaphor) had gotten it so completely wrong that the product imploded on launch, she would be in the unemployment line before lunch.
But here’s the thing: Rubin will be feted and rewarded. Her gig and the WaPo will continue and come 2016 her performance will continue to be a series of easily discernable and embarrassing lies and contempt completely unhinged and spewed, fire-hose style across the pages (real and digital) of one of the major newspapers of this country.
There is a Village, and we are not part of it, Scissorheads.
The wailing and gnashing of teeth is a joy to behold, but her bit on Nate Silver tastes especially satisfying.
Image courtesy of Scissorhead Wagonjak
Sweet Jeebus, they gave him a new toy to play with, and he’s using it to claim that Willard will get 315 electoral votes:
Dame Peggington Noonington of the Brooklynshire Nooningtons has burped forth from the Aviary II and consulted with the Magical Dolphins who guided little Elian to the shores of Florida and has made a pronouncement for The Stench:
All the vibrations are right.
…which is about as good as Noonan gets after the three-day Mai Tai extravaganza. Either that or she left her Jack Rabbit on.
“All men are created equal, but white dudes are more equal.”
Here’s the full bit:
“If President Barack Obama wins, he will be the popular choice of Hispanics, African-Americans, single women and highly educated urban whites. That’s what the polling has consistently shown in the final days of the campaign. It looks more likely than not that he will lose independents, and it’s possible he will get a lower percentage of white voters than George W. Bush got of Hispanic voters in 2000.
“A broad mandate this is not.”
So, some votes are better than others, eh Politico?
(Politico)
“Christie would help more if he could suspend New Jersey’s foolish law forbidding price increases of more than 10% during an “emergency,” and if he’d apologize for bragging that the state will crack down on price “gouging!” …What politicians call “gouging” is just the free market. When markets are allowed to work their magic, lines disappear. The high price is a big flag planted in the ground that says, “Hey, come over here and make money.”
–John Stossel, explains that what would really help people waiting in 2-mile long lines to buy gas would be if the gas stations could charge whatever they want, because the invisible hand of the market solves all problems, appearantly including scarcity.
(Fox News)
(Petunia and Pals) Is it a Hurricane Sandy Benefit or is it a concert for Obama?
This is the stupidest 2 minutes on the TeeVee Machine you will see today. But my favorite bit is when The Other Dumb One (the contest continues to name Petunia’s sidekicks, by the way) wants to know why there are no conservative entertainers in the NBC line-up, because you know, Pat Boone and Victoria Jackson are such big-name acts…
Hahahaha! The known egg-enthusiast at The Fudge Report links to frozen teevee dinner heir Tucker Carlson’s vanity project for an explosive exposé claiming that Democratic Senator Bob Menendez paid for sex in the Dominican Republic, just like their hero Junkie Limbaugh minus the copious quantities of Viagra and/or the reports of little boys.
Menendez–who is long-divorced–refused to comment on allegations.
The best part of the corroborated story (of course) is this:
“In interviews, the two women said they met Menendez around Easter at Casa de Campo, an expensive 7,000 acre resort in the Dominican Republic. They claimed Menendez agreed to pay them $500 for sex acts, but in the end they each received only $100.”
You know Wingnuts are getting chubs just thinking about sex and stiffing the worker (pun not intended).
Should be fun to watch how this one gets carried by the Shouty people in Wingnuttia.
(I’m not linking to any of these guys, but the story should be easy to find if you are so inclined…)
(UPDATE: Spellcheck done me in again. Fixed the incorrect usage per Scissorhead DK.)
You know, because a real world-class leader would go have birfday cake with Grandpa Walnuts, just like Chimpy did during Katrina, eh E2?
Nice cheap shot though. Did you score points with your fellow mouth-breathers for mocking a dead american hero, you child-molesting goat-f***er.
Hey, you guys, remember that time when that GOP flat-liner Dean Chambers was so sure that damn commie liberals were cooking the polling numbers to show that The Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby was winning when clearly he IS NOT (because no one he knows is voting for him behind the gates of his gated community), so he came up with his own polling methodology that weighs GOP voters more than commie-marxist-socialist-bwanna devils? Me Neither!
But anyway, he’s come up with a new reason not to trust those damn Jeebus-hating liberal pollsters, like Nate Silver (at the FiveThirtyEight blog):
“Nate Silver is a man of very small stature, a thin and effeminate man with a soft-sounding voice that sounds almost exactly like the “Mr. New Castrati” voice used by Rush Limbaugh on his program.”
OK, aside from the rather blatant homophobic dog-whistle, what else have you got, Dean?
“He claims to have been highly accurate in predicting the 2008 election results, and perhaps he was. But it’s highly unlikely his current methods and projections will have the level of accuracy unless he changes then quite a lot between now and election day. The race has shifted profoundly in favor of Mitt Romney while Nate Sillver is still projecting an Obama win. Unless he changes that, the credibility he earned in 2008 will be greatly diminished after this years election.”
</crickets>
So there you have it! Proof that The Stench is gonna win because Nate Silver sounds like the effeminate ball-less straw-man character that Junkie Limbaugh attacks on his wireless program. The End.
(Examiner.com via Raw Story)
Chalk up another win for The Stench: put notably nutty word-person for the NYPost ANDREA PEYSER into the Win column!
Ms. Peyser, a notable feminist mostly noted for being a sex-scold, based her decision on who to endorse using the age-old technique of seeing what terms of endearment married couples have for each other. His Willardness has none for Queen Ann, but the Kenyan Usurper calls Michelle Sweetie.
Only a horrible man would condescend to calling his wife of 20 years Sweetie! They probably have sex, too, and that will not do for Peyser! Why can’t they be more like the Romneys? (Sexless? Yes.)
While Obama patronizes with passionate and public displays of sweetie-isms, Romney is more at ease with women. As governor of Massachusetts, he led the nation in the hiring of female leaders — between 40 and 50 percent in his administration, compared with Obama’s 36 percent. He’d never publicly insult his wife.
In word and deed, Romney is the true feminist candidate.
We’re not stupid.
And that the not-stupid-sexless-feminist vote is now secured, so Willard is sure to win. The End.
(NYPost)
Scissorheads –
Get your spitballs ready, and put on your propeller beanies. It is time we got serious.
We’ve long had a sobriquet for Petunia…
…but we’ve struck out with a loving nickname for The Dumb One:
…and The Other Dumb One seems sort of derivative:
Help us give them names worthy of Petunia.
The prize? An original, signed cartoon (photoshop) of the three of them, delivered to you. Put your nominations in the comments, and the MPS Super-Team will vote on a winner in a completely opaque, non-binding way, whenever we get around to it. Bribes are not beneath us (this is the US, after all), and toadying is encouraged.
Now, get cracking!
Regards,
The Management
Exhibit A for the perils of Botox Mary Matlin calls Professor Krugman a liar on national TeeVee. Which takes some brass, as Big Dog would say. Her rectitude could stand on stilts under a snake wearing a top-hat and have room to spare. But I digress…
Now, regarless of what you think of Matlin (clue: not much) the truth of the matter is that Ryan called his plan a Voucher plan before he became second banana to The Willard Mechanism when he switched to calling it Premium Support, which in essence is a coupon to buy insurance, ie, a voucher.
As Gertrude Stein once said, Alice, bring me those damn brownies, er, “A rose is a rose is a rose.”
That video would be the one wherein the Stench says that half the country are untaxed moochers.
I just don’t understand why his stand-up act didn’t take off.
Dead Dude? Ambassador Stevens — there was plenty of the 140 characters left to spell it out, but I suppose when you leave your integrity in Al Capone’s vault…
Once again, we have our lady of the words Peggington Noonington, official scribe to the Republican Party, offering sound advice to the GOP on what to do about a problem like Willard:
Time for the party to step up. Romney should go out there every day surrounded with the most persuasive, interesting and articulate members of his party, the old ones, and I say this with pain as they’re my age, like Mitch Daniels and Jeb Bush, and the young ones, like Susana Martinez and Chris Christie and Marco Rubio—and even Paul Ryan. I don’t mean one of them should travel with him next Thursday, I mean he should be surrounded by a posse of them every day. Their presence will say, “This isn’t about one man, this is about a whole world of meaning, this is about a conservative political philosophy that can turn things around and make our country better.”
Oh, please do, Wingnuttia: when Willard says to Hell with half the country, I think you can do no greater good than to send out Paul Ryan, the guy who wants to kill Social Security and Medicare, and who wants nothing more than to see America’s grannies out on the curb to be picked up by non-union garbage collectors and hauled away.
But to make things fun, and because it is another crazed debouchery of a piece, guess where Peg wants Willard to go give these speeches:
Wake this election up. Wade into the crowd, wade into the fray, hold a hell of a rally in an American city—don’t they count anymore? …How about downtown Brooklyn, full of new Americans? Guys—make it look like there’s an election going on. Because there is.
Yeah. Get Willard some bromance, and how the hipsters will flock to his mom-jeans. Should make for some fine teevee viewing, Pegs.
The thing that Nooners is missing, and that I think most of the Villagers are missing is that this is larger than Willard’s italian-loafer-in-mouth syndrome. It is not him that the 47% dislikes, it is Republicanism. He is the symptom.
And you guys wonder why in my little pastiches that I have Peggars chugging rum?
(Peggy Noonan’s Blog at the Wall Street Journal)
…The Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby has abandoned our imaginary allies in Czechoslovakia (which has not existed since 1992. See Walesa, Lech):
Because there is no lie too small nor apparently too big for Liz Cheney (THE MOST IMPORTANT DEPUTY ASSISTANT SECRETARY OF STATE FOR NEAR EASTERN AFFAIRS In Our Nation’s History, Maybe Ever) to tell.
Nepotism Exhibit A Liz Cheney is being treated as an expert and doesn’t know that there is no Czechoslovakia, so she goes on at great length about the Obama Apology Tour (which every single fact checker has given pants on fire ratings to), and appeasing our enemies like Iran (really, she said that), and of course the cold warrior boogeyman Russia.
Why is she being given a public soapbox which she so clearly does not deserve and is absolutely unprepared for?
This week marks the return of Grandpa Walnuts (phew! we were beginning to worry that he might not show up) and the unusual occurrence of one guest being on all of the major shows: Susan Rice, our Ambassador to the United Nations.
Sadly, our favorite barfly Peggington Noonington was on a 4-day bender and could not be woken-up in time to film. Perhaps she will return next week?
Fair Warning: I lost my will to live around the Chris Matthews Show and stopped annotating then. Also/Too the unfortunately named Up! With Chris Hayes returns to the list as they once again listed their guests on their web site; Melissa Harris-Perry did not, so that program is not listed today. Sorry, Mel: you snooze you lose! (Bet she’s heart-broken…)
As always we look up the guests in Wikipedia to see what details the people who book the shows leave out when writing up the bios. We include this info and other editorial content in Italics to keep it clear that this is Bonus Material. Objects in Mirror May Be Closer Than You Think.
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Honest to Dawg, is there anyone worse than Mark Halperin? Anyway, this is part of his response to The Willard Mechanism’s incendiary comments on Obama apologizing for the attacks on the US Embassy in Libya. (Of which it must be noted that Obama never did apologize or sympathize with the attackers.)
Look it, I know that this is usually Driftglass’s turf, and I’m interloping here, but this is absolutely ridiculous. Both sides do not do this; this is centrism BS wrapped up in a bow. If Mark Halperin, who famously called the President a dick on live television, were ever to say the truth–that Wingnuttia is full-on crazy and destroying this country from the inside-out, and now fomenting yet another confrontation in the Middle East–he would be fired and never grace the cocktail and weenie circuit of the Villagers again.
Both sides don’t do it, Mark. Both sides do NOT blame America, which is exactly what Willard was doing. Both sides do NOT rush to ill-formed conclusions to achieve cheap, political points designed to be red meat to throw to the crazy base.
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