Keep F***ing That Chicken, Teabaggers

Posted by Tengrain Monday, May 27th, 2013

Think Progress tells us:

Under the law, 501(c)(4)s cannot be “primarily engaged” in electioneering activity. Though the guidelines for acceptable levels of political activity are unclear, organizations with such designations operate under the understanding that they are prohibited from spending more than 49 percent of their funds or time on political advocacy.

And the NYTimes (!) tells us:

When CVFC, a conservative veterans’ group in California, applied for tax-exempt status with the Internal Revenue Service, its biggest expenditure that year was several thousand dollars in radio ads backing a Republican candidate for Congress.

The Wetumpka Tea Party, from Alabama, sponsored training for a get-out-the-vote initiative dedicated to the “defeat of President Barack Obama” while the I.R.S. was weighing its application.

And the head of the Ohio Liberty Coalition, whose application languished with the I.R.S. for more than two years, sent out e-mails to members about Mitt Romney campaign events and organized members to distribute Mr. Romney’s presidential campaign literature.

You want to tell me how campaigning for the defeat of The Kenyan is non-political?

There is no alleged scandal here, other than our election laws and how they are designed to funnel money from the oligarchy to candidates/causes that turns everyone into a crook or a cynic. Or both.

The IRS is supposed to investigate groups that apply for tax-exempt status as part of determing if such a status is warranted (and it should be noted for the record that no tax-exempt status is guaranteed just because you apply for it). The Teabaggers seem to be confused by this little bit of information, but as they say in the South, God looks after the simple.

And they say there are no second acts in US politics

Posted by Tengrain Monday, April 15th, 2013

Remember Alaskastan’s senatorial candidate and famous beard-wearing person Joe Miller who holds the distinction of being the only candidate to lose to a write-in campaign for the oddly spelled Lisa Murkowski? Remember him? Endorsed by Mooselini? Teabagger?

The Moose-Savant is gonna run again.

(Second verse: a little bit louder and a little bit worse!)

The Afternoon Quote

Posted by Tengrain Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

The-Big-Weenie

“We believe that [Obamacare] is going to collapse under its own weight… This to us is something that we’re not going to give up on, because we’re not going to give up on destroying the health care system for the American people.”

–Paul Ryan

Thank you Jeebus!

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, February 27th, 2013

Steve King

Tom Latham has dropped out of the race for Tom Harkin’s Senate seat when he retires in 2014, so it looks like Steve King has the GOP nomination locked in. Todd Akin II: Electric Boogaloo.

(Maddow Blog)

Whoopsie!

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

We Regret The Error

(Talking Points Memo)

“We didn’t mean to put Karl Rove in the Nazi Uniform in our fundraising letter, so don’t sue us.” — I’m only paraphrasing the Teabaggers, but it’s pretty funny. TPM has the whole apology.

(TPM)

Teabagger Challenger for Mitch McConnell?

Posted by Tengrain Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

It looks like be-wattled and chinless Mitch McConnell will have a challenger to his right, after all:

Senate Majority Leader[sic - really?!] Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) could see a primary challenge from local businessman Matt Bevin, who sources say is reaching out to Tea Party groups in the state to gauge support for a 2014 Senate run.

Bevin is the owner of Bevin Brothers Manufacturing, a Connecticut bell-making company founded 160 years ago. He previously worked as CEO of Integrity Asset Management, an investment management firm with offices in Kentucky.

His personal wealth would be an advantage running against McConnell, who has more than $7 million cash on hand and is is actively fundraising in preparation for 2014.

A recent survey from Democratic firm Public Policy Polling revealed [McConnell] to be the least popular senator in the nation, and a poll from Republican firm Harper Polling showed one prominent potential Democratic contender, actress Ashley Judd, just nine percentage points behind him.

The Teabaggers are the Frankenstein monster, attacking their creator. This is going to be fun to watch, but in the short run, expect ol’ Mitch to go hard right (à la Lindsey Graham) to butch it up to the mouth-breathing paste-eaters in his old Kentucky home.

(The Hill)

What’s knotting-up Lindsey Graham’s panties today?

Posted by Tengrain Sunday, February 17th, 2013

In the never-ending quest to prevent a primary challenge from his right, SC Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Closet) has been on a manly-man quest to tack hard-right to please the teabaggers (a constituency he should know very well, if you catch my drift and I think you do). When he puts on his hunting togs–we’re thinking jodhpurs and knee-high boots, red velvet coat, and yes, we believe he has them in his closet, probably on a houseboy–we will have a good laugh.

Anyway, today instead of screaming Benghazi at us, he’s found a new show tune:

“Here’s my belief: let’s take Obamacare and put it on the table. If you want to look at ways to find $1.2 trillion in savings over the next decade, let’s look at Obamacare. Let’s don’t destroy the military and just cut blindly across the board.”

Huckleberry hopes that screaming socialism will line up the rubes behind him. That boat done set sail, Senator.

(Think Progress has a non-snarky look at what cutting healthcare would mean in real terms. Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham ought to be ashamed.)

Everyone loves Pandas

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, February 14th, 2013

Freedom Works, the faux-grassroots teabagging project of the Koch Brothers, produced a promotional video that included a scene in which a female intern wearing a panda suit simulates performing oral sex on Hillary Clinton.

That Freedom Works at the time was led by the appropriately-named Dick Armey just brings me puddles of joy. Armey is claiming innocence and that he is shocked! Shocked! at this shenanigans that happened under his watch.

(David Corn at Mother Jones who finds all the good videos 47% of the time)

Did The Koch Brothers Look at Their ROI?

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, February 14th, 2013

Haha! Well, so much for Astroturfing gun right support, eh?

WASHINGTON — Less than 24 hours after Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) delivered a Tea Party response to President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address, TheTeaParty.net, a well-known conservative group, reached out to supporters to say that it is “deeply embarrassed” to have failed to raise enough money in the last several weeks to fund a nationwide series of pro-gun rallies scheduled for Feb. 23.

Or maybe the GOP is going to rebrand again now that their policies were so completely rejected at the ballot box?

(HuffPo)

“I am SHOCKED SHOCKED to find The Koch Brothers in this establishment! “

Posted by Tengrain Monday, February 11th, 2013

New Study Finds Koch Bros. Tried to Start Tea Party Movement in 2002

OK, Scissorheads, here’s another notch for our bed posts that we got right years ago before anyone else: The Teabaggers are absolutely an astroturf project of the Koch Brothers. A new, peer-reviewed academic study supports our long-standing theory.

I’m also guessing sooner or later we will be affirmed that Fox rebranded Conservativism and embraced Teabaggery to survive the retreat towards the end of Chimpy’s Reign of Error. They did it because Chimpy so screwed the brand that they couldn’t keep promoting him and his policies when it all went Kablam!, so they changed from supporting the GOP into supporting the Teabaggers to keep those dials set to their network.

(FDL)

Miss Lindsey still cannot decide between Rhett and Ashley

Posted by Tengrain Sunday, February 10th, 2013

Poor Senatorette, she’s just not sure about her dance card these days:

BOB SCHIEFFER (HOST): I’m not sure I understand. What do you plan to do if they don’t give you an answer? Are you going to put a hold on these two nominations?

GRAHAM: Yes…How could Susan Rice come on to your show and say there’s no evidence of a terrorist attack when the Secretary of Defense and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs said they knew that night? I think that was a misleading narrative three weeks before our election.

SCHIEFFER: Let me just make sure, because you’re about to make some news here, I think. You are saying that you are going to block the nominations — you’re going to block them from coming to a vote until you get an answer to this? Now, John McCain has already said he doesn’t think the Republicans ought to filibuster this. What will you do? You’re just going to put a hold on it? [...]

GRAHAM: I want to know who changed the talking points. Who took the references to Al Qaeda out of the talking points given to Susan Rice? We still don’t know…. I want to know what our president did. What did he do as commander in chief? Did he ever pick up the phone and call anybody? I think this is the stuff the country needs to know.

So there you have it. Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham, from the wingnuttiest state of South Carolina, who is facing a likely Teabagger primary challenge, is going all butch and is going to serve trouble to the uppity Kenyan Usurper.

(Think Progress)

How’s that outreach to Latinos working for ya, GOP?

Posted by Tengrain Sunday, January 6th, 2013

“We need a common sense solution to fix the flawed interpretation of the Constitution’s citizenship clause, and ‘The Birthright Citizenship Act of 2013′ does just that. The current practice of extending U.S. citizenship to hundreds of thousands of ‘anchor babies’ must end because it creates a magnet for illegal immigration into our country. Now is the time to ensure that the laws in this country do not encourage law breaking.”

–Rep. Steve King (R – Whites Only)

Oddly, Michelle Malkkkin remains muted on this issue.

(Raw Story)

Dick Armey: Revolutionary

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

Executive Summary: Small Fry works for an organization that exists to make the lives of working people as crappy as possible and everyone is surprised when the overly-entitled wingnut figurhead treats everyone like the serf he sees them as being, foments an armed revolution in gun-free DC, and days later is deposed with an $8M bribe from a fellow benefactor of teabagger politics. There are no heroes or victims here.

Richard K. Armey, [Freedom Works'] chairman and a former House majority leader, walked into the group’s Capitol Hill offices with his wife, Susan, and an aide holstering a handgun at his waist. The aim was to seize control of the group and expel Armey’s enemies: The gun-wielding assistant escorted FreedomWorks’ top two employees off the premises [Matt Kibbe, the group’s president, and Adam Brandon, its senior vice president], while Armey suspended several others who broke down in sobs at the news.

The coup lasted all of six days. By Sept. 10, Armey was gone — with a promise of $8 million — and the five ousted employees were back. The force behind their return was Richard J. Stephenson, a reclusive Illinois millionaire who has exerted increasing control over one of Washington’s most influential conservative grass-roots organizations.

Aside from the laughably and demonstrably false claim that Freedom Works is a grass roots organization, I like that Dick Armey tried for an armed insurrection to take over a lobbying group. Better yet, he hired a stooge to handle the gun so that there would be no crime attributable to him… But who is this Stephenson?

[Stephenson] founded the Cancer Treatment Centers of America in 1988 following his mother’s death from bladder cancer, according to the for-profit company’s Web site and his public remarks. Stephenson also holds investments in a broad portfolio of other businesses, including finance and real estate companies.

That sounds about right: a wingnut who is making a fortune off of the misery of others.

Stephenson has a passion for libertarian politics stretching back to the 1960s, when he attended seminars featuring “Atlas Shrugged” author Ayn Rand and economist Murray Rothbard, according to those who know him at FreedomWorks. Like Armey, Stephenson was an early supporter of Citizens for a Sound Economy, the conservative lobbying group founded by oil billionaires Charles and David Koch in 1984 that split into FreedomWorks and Americans for Prosperity 20 years later. The Kochs, known for bankrolling a variety of conservative causes, kept control of AFP, while Stephenson and Armey stayed with FreedomWorks.

Dividing the spoils, as it were. Pirates got nothing on the modern wingnut.

FreedomWorks has struggled with accusations that it is an “astro­turfer” — a national organization of big-money donors that swept in to lay claim to an independent movement.

According to public records, FreedomWorks received more than $12 millionbefore [sic] the election from two corporations based in Knoxville, Tenn.: Specialty Investments Group and Kingston Pike Development. The firms were established within a day of each other by William S. Rose III, a local bankruptcy lawyer.

Because nothing says grassroots like multi-million-dollar infusions of untraceable cash from a single-donor. Sounds like the astroturf allegation can be entered into evidence.

Among other things, Stephenson wanted a substantial sum spent in support of Rep. Joe Walsh (R-Ill.), a tea party favorite and Stephenson’s local congressman, several who attended the retreat recalled. Walsh garnered national headlines during the campaign when he questioned whether his opponent, Tammy Duckworth, a former Blackhawk helicopter pilot who lost both legs in Iraq, was a “true hero.” Despite internal misgivings about the value of the investment, FreedomWorks spent $1.7 million on ads supporting Walsh; he lost the race.

What?! Stephenson paid good money to re-elect Walsh! How dare the serfs defy him?! But let’s return to the coup. What was it about?

By nearly all accounts, including from those loyal to him, Armey handled his attempted coup badly. Armey says he was stepping in because of ethical breaches by Kibbe and Brandon, accusing them of improperly using FreedomWorks staff resources to produce a book — ironically, named “Hostile Takeover” — for which Kibbe claimed sole credit and was collecting royalties. The use of internal resources for Kibbe’s benefit could jeopardize the group’s nonprofit tax status; the group denies any impropriety.

So it was about power AND money, which is all that keeps most elderly wingnuts alive.

In subsequent meetings, Susan Armey passed her husband notes that several employees assumed contained suggestions on what to say. According to a recording of a staff conference call provided to The Washington Post, Armey bewildered his audience by demanding more FreedomWorks support for Todd Akin, the Missouri Republican whose Senate campaign had already cratered after his comments about “legitimate rape.”

“It was clear that under Armey’s leadership, the organization as we knew it was going to be driven into the ground,” said one junior employee.

Enter Stephenson, who agreed to the multimillion-dollar financial incentive to push Armey out and install Kibbe back at the helm.

The payments were necessary, several FreedomWorks leaders said, because Armey was threatening to sue over Kibbe’s book deal.

Grifters gotta grift.

(WaPo)

Cashing Out: Jim DeMint

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, December 6th, 2012

Wow – Jim DeMint, the only member of Congress who knows Michele Bachmann’s safe word and the location of her reset button, is leaving the hallowed chambers of “the world’s most exclusive debate club” to run Phyllis Schlafly’s retirement home for aged wingnuts, The Heritage Foundation.

Republican Gov. Nikki Haley will appoint his successor to the Senate. I’m sure Senator Huckleberry Closetcase will consult to find a suitable, well, suitor.

I’m sure that The Heritage Foundation will continue to operate at the same high-level standards as always.

(HuffPo)

In His Own Words

Posted by Tengrain Saturday, November 17th, 2012

“So by the third debate, I’m pretty certain Mitt Romney actually French-kissed Barack Obama.”

–Ted Cruz, Senator-elect Texas, showing his gratitude following the star-turn that The Stench gave this teabagger at the RNC.

(Politico)

Today in Effigies…

Posted by Tengrain Friday, October 26th, 2012

(Raw Story) Obama was hung by the neck with care in Riverside California and at the North Carolina State Fair in Raleigh.

But, aw shucks, we didn’t mean nothing by it, they said after the Secret Service showed up.

“This is just a misunderstanding,” Eddie Million said. “This is getting all blown out of proportion. It’s down. It’s gone. We didn’t want to hurt the president.”

Million said he used the hanging figure as a party decoration because it was “spooky,” but took it down after talking to local police on Monday.

“If I had it to do all over again, I absolutely wouldn’t have done it,” Million said. “It was not meant to offend anybody.”

When you go to the trouble to make an effigy, and then put a mask of Obama on it, you absolutely meant something by it. And I don’t need to parse Spooky to know what you meant.

(Raw Story)

No, say it ain’t so!

Posted by Tengrain Monday, October 1st, 2012

Today, comedy died: Allen West is trailing by 9 points.

Now, more than ever, a nation turns its sad eyes to Michele Bachmann to provide the crazy.

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Posted by Tengrain Monday, September 10th, 2012

Magical panties enthusiast and notable liar The Willard Mechanism is the proverbial drowning man swimming towards the sinking ship: he’s desperate. But this quote from Willard over the weekend takes the $3 coin:

“I will not take God out of the name of our platform. I will not take God off our coins and I will not take God out of my heart. We’re a nation that’s bestowed by God.”

Now then, President Carebear’s campaign has learned that you have to fight back each time one of the Flying Monkeys attack, and here’s a classic response:

“The president believes as much that God should be taken off a coin as he does that aliens will attack Florida.”

Given how dumb the teabaggers are, we should keep an eye on Florida today to see if they all go running to WallyMart to stock up on survival gear.

(Yahoo News and the follow up: Yahoo News)

Fear and Loathing in Tampax – Chapter Two

Posted by Axel Grease Wednesday, August 29th, 2012

In the morning, the new first lady of the GOP holds the traditional tea party
teaparty

Some people say Ralph Reed and Paul Ryan were “separated at birth”
siami1
There brains sure are the same

So as not to feel left out, the Sainted one visits the Log Cabin Mousketeers and the Log Hogs who hang with them
log cabin mouseketeers

To honor the keynote speaker – the boys of the Senate decided to hold “Chris Christie Night” at the Hotel
christie1

Now that he has secured the nomination, the badge passes to Mittens
BADGE

After a hard day at work, some of the boys from the House hit the clubs
str2

The Protocol of the Elders of GOPland

Posted by Axel Grease Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

in a secret ceremony, the GOP elders plot out the protocols of their 2012 platform

ryan rand

Outrage Troll Outraged at Own Outrage

Posted by Tengrain Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

Congressman Allen West (Tinfoil-FL), the teabaggiest of ‘em all, is very upset with President Carebear (nothing new here), and he wants the world to know it.

So West fired up the awesome power of the Facebook and blasted out this note of disapproval:

“While the President laughs and dines, our Constitutional Republic is eroding and my countrymen are suffering. In this election year, it is sad to think that some of those who were sitting in that [White House Correspondents Dinner] ballroom Saturday night laughing and living it up, are helping to perpetuate the manipulation and deception of our country.”

Of course he wrote it when he got home from whooping it up at the Nerd Prom himself (didn’t get lucky, I guess?), where he was the butt of one of Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes:

Kimmel set up the joke by noting that President Obama had called hip-hop star Kanye West a “jackass” in a recent interview.

“No offense sir, but I think you got the wrong West. I think you meant Allen,” said Kimmel.

West definitely didn’t get lucky.

(The Hill)

The Morning Quote

Posted by Tengrain Friday, April 20th, 2012

“When he left the microphone on in Russia, we all heard what he said … left unrestrained, without the inhibitions of the next election — he’d have flexibility, he said, flexibility to do what he wants to do. Whether it’s trade away … the secrets of our national intelligence, to, what he could do to the United States Supreme Court in the next four years.”

–Rep. Mike Fitzpatrick (R-PA)

OK, so a Teabagger has now suggested that President Carebear will commit treason if re-elected.

The Morning Quote-ish

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

The Palm Beach Post reports that…

“[Allen West] later said “he’s heard” up to 80 U.S. House Democrats are Communist Party members, but wouldn’t name names.”

Good to see that West is carrying on the Bachmann-the-Nut tradition.

Teabagger of the Day

Posted by Axel Grease Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

i am back….. and we have a whole new award to be handed out as we head into the 2012 election – Teabagger of the Day

you can rest assured that between now and November our amigos from the Nestea-set will say, enact, produce, legislate and just fart out some of the most insane and ridiculous stuff since Mitt Romney added an elevator for his wife’s 378 Cadillacs

Today’s Winner – Arizona State Senator – Judy Burges – a Republican (what else!) from Skull Valley, AZ

Ms. (a term I use loosely) Burges is pushing a bill in Arizona (which is quickly surpassing Oklahoma as the state with the most insane and fascist legislators) that will “wipe out any environmental program administered or funded by the government to prevent social engineering … including where we live, what we eat.”

Besides believing in magic underwear, that the Flintstones were real, and that women should be barefoot, pregnant and have ultra-sound devices shoved up their hoo-hoos, Burges and her ‘bagger compatriots also believe that clean (or green) energy programs are some sort of secret plot to create a single world government order – a world order I am sure she believes will be headed by a non-white Kenyan.

Burges’ paranoia, besides coming from just her breathing, is based on a non-binding United Nations international plan for environmentally-sustainable development called Agenda 21.  Agenda 21 is a teabagger version of Area 51.  I am sure Ms. Burges failed to acknowledge that Agenda was adopted in 1992 by 178 countries, including the United States under the George H.W. Bush administration.

Judy, Judy, Judy’s bill would bar any municipality or county in Arizona “from adopting or implementing the United Nations Rio Declaration on Environment and Development.”  They could not accept funds from, spend funds from or give funds to “certain non-governmental organizations,” including non-profit groups and contractors, for any of Agenda 21′s initiatives.

Methinks Judy Burges’ husband must own a gas-mask company.

So as we enter the real election season, our first winner of Teabagger of the Day is….

burges bagger

Keep Speaking Rick

Posted by Axel Grease Sunday, January 8th, 2012

You have to hand it to the Republicans – they simply have no idea how to filter their insanity – and NONE of them have learned from George “Macaca” Allen – that everything you say stays alive forever.  Since most of the Republicans and Teahadists in public office think we are still living in the age of the chastity belt – expounding views that make 80% of the country cringe is becoming common place.  Hard to say which of the current crop of inmates disguised as Presidential candidates spews the most offensive bile – but based on the past week it is fast becoming the frothy one – Rick Santorum.  From Think Progress – Mr Santorum seems to think daddies or mommies in prison are preferable to two daddies or two mommies.

For the second time in as many days, Rick Santorum waded into the issue of gay marriage, suggesting it was so important for children to have both a father and mother that an imprisoned father was preferable to a same-sex parent.  Citing the work of one [unnamed]anti-poverty expert, Santorum said, “He found that even fathers in jail who had abandoned their kids were still better than no father at all to have in their children’s lives.”

Allowing gays to marry and raise children, Santorum said, amounts to “robbing children of something they need, they deserve, they have a right to. You may rationalize that that isn’t true, but in your own life and in your own heart, you know it’s true.” [...]  The students at Dublin School, which runs from ninth through 12th grade, were primed for Santorum’s visit, said headmaster Brad Bates. He said three students in the audience had gay parents, though they were not among those who asked about the topic.

Who knew that during World Ware II, all the non-Jewish kids whose parents were shipped off to Dachau or Auschwitz for being Roma or Communists or Slavic or Jesuits or Gay or some other unacceptable were actually better off!  (Jewish kids were lucky – they got to stay with Mommy and Daddy as they were all shipped to Auschwitz).

Holocaust

I will not stop saying this – these GOP/Teahadists speak of and extol policies that are leading this country down the same highway as 1930′s Germany

 

Everybody run!…

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, December 29th, 2011

Bachmann-the-Nut has a gun!*:

(TPM)

*Apologies to Julie Brown.

Out of $ and ideas

Posted by Tengrain Monday, October 31st, 2011

“She’s still saying the same things she said in the first the debate. There’s no substance. She says, ‘I’m going to repeal Obamacare.’ But she’s been saying that from Day 1. I told her: That’s your Tea Party speech, now you have to say what you’re going to do next.”

–Ed Rollins, former Bachmann campaign manager describing Bachmann-the-Nut’s campaign

When you’ve lost your amoral campaign manager (and they don’t get much more amoral that Ed Rollins), you’ve kinda lost it all.

She was a tax lawyer, you know!

Posted by Tengrain Sunday, October 30th, 2011

bachmann-straight-jacket

Hahaha! – Bachmann-the-Nut says that her flat tax proposal will have “several rates.”

(Raw Story)

Vote of confidence? No.

Posted by Tengrain Friday, October 28th, 2011

bachmann-straight-jacket

Hahahaha! My fellow hobos, The Teabaggers have asked theocrat and successful baby-mill operator Michele Bachmann to drop out of the 2012 Goat Rodeo.

(Think Progress)

The Teabagger Jobs Plan

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

Some Teabagger named Melissa Brookstone has a plan to send a message to Washington, and it is simple: stop hiring new employees in order to stand up to “this new dictator,” the “global Progressive socialist movement,” Hollywood, the media and Occupy Wall Street.

You must read this screed, it’s like the Birchers on off lithium.

(Right Wing Watch)

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Captain Spaulding for catching the on-off problem)