The Morning Quote

Posted by Tengrain Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

Sweet baby Jeebus with a Magic Touch:

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful. They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

–Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX)

Masturbating fetuses? THEY ARE GOING TO HELL!

(But the real tell: the fetus-fondling Texan only cites male fetuses, because you know, it’s always all about men even when it is about women’s choice, and that takes some balls.)

Also, too: does Texas have an endless supply of pervy Xristian Xrazies, or what?

Texas

Posted by Tengrain Monday, April 29th, 2013

“It was with extreme disgust and disappointment I viewed your recent cartoon. While I will always welcome healthy policy debate, I won’t stand for someone mocking the tragic deaths of my fellow Texans and our fellow Americans.”

–Rick Perry, Texas’ Goobernor

Gee, Rick, I guess when you run around the country bragging about how few regulations Texas has, you know, as a talking point to lure your fellow Xristian Xrazie Libertarians Theocrat Secessionists to relocate there, you kinda were promoting this possibility, too.

Our sympathies, as always, go to the people hurt in the blast; our condemnation goes to the people who made the blast possible. And that’s you, Rick.

I’d rear-end a car with this bumpersticker:

Posted by Tengrain Friday, April 12th, 2013

Texas, of course.

(Hat tip: HuffPo via Scissorhead Karen Zipdrive)

The Morning Quote

Posted by Tengrain Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Example one bazillion: the internet is forever

Posted by Tengrain Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Texas Teaparty official was officially the Director of Propaganda for the American Fascist Party.

“James Ives, a prominent Tea Party activist who has hosted statewide rallies and political debates and has been a regular contributor on conservative radio, was the AFP’s fourth in command, commenting about the party’s principles on a fascist message board. An image of Ives in what appears to be a black uniform with yellow shoulder patches can be seen in a 2006 promotional video for the party.”

Who woulda thunk that a Texas Teabagger was also a prominent fascist? I mean besides everybody?

Anyway, Ive’s trying all the tricks in the book to distance himself from his own recent past. From claiming he was going under cover to blow the lid off of it, to saying it was just research for his novel (never written). So he’s kinda twisting in the wind. But some of his quotes on the Fascist bulletin board show us the sort of novelist lurks within:

“It will be our greatest challenge, and our sweetest victory, to finally surpass this dark menace, this numbing threat from the shadows, and replace it with the pure sunbeam that is our Fascist Faith, our Fascist Truth.”

That’s some mighty fine writin’.

Anyway, the fun part of the article is how Texas’ GOP is now running away from him:

State Sen. Dan Patrick, R-Houston, whose radio station has regularly hosted Ives’ political commentaries in recent years, said that if his past connections to the American Fascist Party were legitimate, the station would no longer put him on air. Patrick said Ives had “never been on our payroll, never been an employee.” He called the promotional video and online postings “very disturbing, no matter how far in the past it is.”

[snip]

State Rep. Rick Miller, R-Sugar Land, who spoke at an event for the Greater Fort Bend County Tea Party last week, said he first heard about Ives’ possible connections to fascism on Friday, in a meeting of concerned conservatives. “It does sound like something worth following up on,” he said.

Debra Medina, a well-known Tea Party activist who ran against Gov. Rick Perry in the 2010 Republican primary, said she isn’t familiar with Ives and isn’t in a position to judge his dealings with the fascist group. But she said part of the challenge of working with the grassroots is that it’s “so hard to know who you’re working with sometimes.”

“Even with the best intentions — and I can speak from my own experience — you can be judged by those who work around you and are supportive of you,” she said. “It tends to tarnish the work that others are doing, and cause people to go, ‘Here we go again.’”

As the sainted Molly Ivin used to tell us, you gotta dance with them what brung you, fellas. Good luck with that outreach thingie.

(Texas Tribune via Scissorhead Skinny-D)

The Morning Quote

Posted by Tengrain Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

“[The Violence Against Women Act] is a truly bad bill. This is helping the liberals, this is horrible. Unbelievable. What really bothers — it’s called a women’s act, but then they have men dressed up as women, they count that. Change-gender, or whatever. How is that — how is that a woman?”

–Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX)

Well, where’s the sport in that?

Posted by Tengrain Saturday, February 23rd, 2013

Texas Bans Shooting Immigrants From Helicoptors

Officials in Texas announced on Thursday that State Troopers would no longer be allowed to open fire on suspects from helicopters after the recent killing of two immigrants.

Mooselini weeps for thee, Texas.

Rick Perry comes a-wooing

Posted by Tengrain Friday, February 8th, 2013

Politico tells us that famous dimwitted theocrat and secessionist Texas Governor Rick Perry is on a bidness trip to California to try to woo some of our companies to head over to his low-wage, low-regulation Libertarian Paradise state. (Somalia? No, Texas. But close)

“Building a business is tough, but I hear building a business in California is next to impossible,” Perry says in the ad, which goes on to praise the Lone Star State’s “low taxes, sensible regulations and fair legal system.”

He’s stopping in all the big cities, and here in Silicon Valley, too

Perhaps he might want to talk about his state’s failing electrical grid while he’s here? You know, because the Tech Titans are kinda sorta interested in have the power actually come on when you flip a switch:

As drought continues, Texans’ thirst for electricity is drawing down supplies of the water needed to quench it.

And that has grid officials cracking down on power companies to make sure they’re using supplies wisely during what could be prolonged dry conditions.

“We have just started requiring new generators to provide proof of water rights before we will include them in our planning models going forward,” said Kent Saathoff, vice president of system planning and operations for the Electric Reliability Council of Texas, which operates most of the state’s grid.

Under the month-old rule, proposals for new power plants must include proof that the generators have access and rights to the water they need, in order to be included in plans for future transmission lines.

The Electric Reliability Council doesn’t issue plant permits – the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality has that authority – but as a practical matter power plants can’t connect to the state’s transmission network if they’re not included in the council’s grid planning.

The council also requires existing plants to submit estimates on the amount of electricity they can generate each season – and available water in a continuing drought can be a critical part of this calculation.

(Hat tip: FuelFix via Skippy the Bush Kangaroo)

“You Cannot Be A Xristian If You Don’t Own a Gun”

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, October 25th, 2012

Sweet Jeebus. Texas, of course.

We have a winner!

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

Meet Judge Tom Head, a county judge in Lubbock, Texas. He is convinced that the Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby Barack Obama is going to turn the United States over the the UN:

[Obama] is going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the UN. Okay, what’s going to happen when that happens? I’m thinking worst case scenario here. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. We’re not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations. We’re talking Lexington-Concord take up arms and get rid of the guy.

Now what’s going to happen if we do that, if the public decides to do that? He’s going to send in U.N. troops — with the little blue beanies. I don’t want ‘em in Lubbock County. Okay. So I’m going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say ‘you’re not coming in here’. “And the sheriff, I’ve already asked him, I said ‘you gonna back me’ he said, ‘yeah, I’ll back you.’”

Nuthobbers gotta nut, I guess. Anyway, I think his will be a tough interview to outcrazy. Come’on Bachmann, you know you want to!

Maybe she should study history?

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, November 17th, 2011

A Texan making a joke about shooting a president? Really?

The Evening Quote

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

“Don’t nitpick, don’t try to Jew them down.”

–Texas State Rep. Larry Taylor (R), the head of the House Republican Caucus, telling the Texas Windstorm Insurance Association that they need to pay claims on time.

In Wingnuttia this is witty

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, September 15th, 2011

Little does President Carebear know what the fiendish masterminds of the GOP have in store for him as he travels about the country campaigning for The American Jobs Act:

I took the initiative and introduced the ‘American Jobs Act of 2011′…The bill would amend the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 to repeal the corporate income tax.

–Louis Gohmert (R-Texas)

You may remember Crazie Louie from such classic moments as “Terror Babies” and “Terror Babies 2″.

(The Daily Caller, that dancing fool and teevee dinner heir Tucker Carlson’s “journalism” project.)

Texas burns while Nemo fiddles

Posted by Tengrain Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

Noted secessionist and theocrat dimwit Texas Governor Rick Perry is now screaming that the Feds are not helping fight the wildfire. What, the prayer circle was ineffective?

Three days after fires started to burn in Central Texas, Gov. Rick Perry today expressed frustration that federal firefighting support, including equipment from Fort Hood, has yet to make its way to the firefighters.

Of course, there is no indication that Perry asked FEMA for any assistance. And of course, he still plans to be in the GOP debate tonight, because, well, it is what baby Jeebus would want.

As always, our wishes and prayers are with the people of Texas, and we all have a special prayer going to TexBetsy who was preparing an emergency evacuation plan last night.

(Texas Statesman)

“Read Mah Lips…”

Posted by Tengrain Sunday, August 28th, 2011

No-New-Texans

“…no new Texans!”

(Someone on Twitter said it last night, but I didn’t write down who it was. I thought it should be illustrated.)

Rick Perry Can’t Control Himself!

Posted by Tengrain Sunday, August 21st, 2011

Maybe he should make an appointment with Marcus Bachmann?

And this is how it is done

Posted by Tengrain Friday, August 19th, 2011

A lot of people think that when you sell your soul to old Mephistopheles, there will be a big flash of sulfur, and flames will shoot out of the ground and what not. But as this video shows, it is a lot less dramatic.

The Bank of America dude already knows that Perry can be bought, terms to be negotiated later. There’s no question about it, it is just as dry a transaction as you can ever imagine.

Nice that they go shopping for politicians on the same day that they announce that they are laying off between 3,500 and 10,000 employees, too.

Have you RSVP’ed yet?

Posted by Tengrain Thursday, August 4th, 2011

Remember when theocrat yahoo Governor Rick Perry invited us all to go to some stupid stadium in Hell’s Half Acre (Texas) to pray for rain? Or to pray for the Flying Spaghetti Monster to smite his enemies? Me Neither!

But anyway, Gov. Goodhair (the 2012 Goat Rodeo’s Fred Thompson), wants to fill a stadium up with Xristian Xrazies and pray for our sins (and give him cash, I think), but so far not very many people have RSVP’ed:

Since he set up the event scheduled for Saturday, however, Perry has become the most talked-about almost-candidate in the 2012 Republican presidential field. But with only 8,000 RSVPs for a stadium that seats 71,500 people, virtually no politicians planning to attend, and a slate of organizers who hold out-of-mainstream views on religious freedom, gay rights and even Adolf Hitler, the event has become a potentially risky gamble if Perry is serious about running for the White House.

So hurry up and RSVP to his gay disco Hitler Stadium party in the hot Texas sun, ‘K? Good manners, kids, that’s what were all about here at Tengrain’s Little Hut.

(AP)

Ayn Rand just had an “O”

Posted by Tengrain Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Shhh, you guys! Don’t let Scott Walker hear about this!

Some little city in Texas fired the entire Police Department a couple of weeks ago. It seems that they did not bring in the bucks, but actually were a loss leader in what is becoming retail democracy.

Anyway, here’s what some yahoo on the Alto city council said:

“The police department being a non-money-making entity, was the easiest to get rid of while we catch our breath and build up some cash.”

So… how are things working out in Alto?

“In the last 24 hours, we’ve answered 18 calls in the county; seven of them were in Alto,” Cherokee County Sheriff James Campbell remarked. “When you’re sitting there needing help, it’s a lifetime.”

Last week, residents called law enforcement on four people allegedly attempting a bank robbery in the small town.

Regards,

Tengrain

(Raw Story)