“[The Kenyan Usurper] sees the world and Israel from a Muslim perspective.”
–Rev. E.W. Jackson, Virginia’s GOP nominee for lieutenant governor, in his acceptance speech.
Virginia is cutting to the chase and nominating preachers now in their quest to form a theocracy.
My Easter tradition requires that I reprise a post from one of the original Scissorheads, XristiM who passed away in December 2006 from cancer; I miss that woman every day, she was one of a kind –as are all the Scissorheads. XristiM was a Christian, but she was wary of the Religious Right, and was strictly in favor of the Separation of Church and State. This is from a comment she posted in November, 2006.
CHANGE OF ADDRESS
Dedicated to the Absolutely Sure of Absolutely Everything
From Someone Who Isn’t
(c) XristiM 1998-2006
Into their Lazarus mouths they pop
God like round peppermint lozenges,
and with their resurrected teeth
grind Him small,
roll the bits with their tongues,
flooding them with saliva and
the exhalations of digestion.
Then they amble forth
to perform the work for which
they have anointed themselves
and each other,
breathing the judgment of an angry God strongly
into the nostrils of others.We can hear them at a distance,
from close enough can detect the stench
of self-righteousness.
And a wary eye can detect them in our midst,
with coats that show glossy fronts,
but on their backs,
hidden from their view
and from ours
unless we trouble ourselves to look,
reveal scraps and patches
like bandages over festering sores.We may protest, draw back in distaste,
alarmed to have God thrust upon us
smelling so pungently of mint
and the charnel house,
but they are relentless in pursuit
of fleeing souls.
They paralyze us with their certainty
that God lives in their mouths.For myself, I think the God has filed
His change of address:
He resides
not in the mouth, but in the heart.
And then, there’s this from Matt Barber, one of the leading Xristian Xrazies showing his love of his fellow man:
Makes you kinda think that XristiM was onto something, doesn’t it? Maybe God moved on and left Matt Barber behind.
#BlogAgainstTheocracy
“…that promises you freedom FROM religion.”
Oh, good Lord, Robert Jeffress is at it again.
Politico tells us that famous dimwitted theocrat and secessionist Texas Governor Rick Perry is on a bidness trip to California to try to woo some of our companies to head over to his low-wage, low-regulation Libertarian Paradise state. (Somalia? No, Texas. But close)
“Building a business is tough, but I hear building a business in California is next to impossible,” Perry says in the ad, which goes on to praise the Lone Star State’s “low taxes, sensible regulations and fair legal system.”
He’s stopping in all the big cities, and here in Silicon Valley, too
Perhaps he might want to talk about his state’s failing electrical grid while he’s here? You know, because the Tech Titans are kinda sorta interested in have the power actually come on when you flip a switch:
As drought continues, Texans’ thirst for electricity is drawing down supplies of the water needed to quench it.
And that has grid officials cracking down on power companies to make sure they’re using supplies wisely during what could be prolonged dry conditions.
“We have just started requiring new generators to provide proof of water rights before we will include them in our planning models going forward,” said Kent Saathoff, vice president of system planning and operations for the Electric Reliability Council of Texas, which operates most of the state’s grid.
Under the month-old rule, proposals for new power plants must include proof that the generators have access and rights to the water they need, in order to be included in plans for future transmission lines.
The Electric Reliability Council doesn’t issue plant permits – the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality has that authority – but as a practical matter power plants can’t connect to the state’s transmission network if they’re not included in the council’s grid planning.
The council also requires existing plants to submit estimates on the amount of electricity they can generate each season – and available water in a continuing drought can be a critical part of this calculation.
(Hat tip: FuelFix via Skippy the Bush Kangaroo)
Famous Reagan-era UN diplomat and former Assistant Secretary of State for International Organizations who ran as a candidate in three Republican Party presidential primaries, Alan Keyes is in the news again for saying something stupid about the possibility that the Boy Scouts might stop discriminating against gay kids.
‘The Boy Scouts of America may imminently abandon the organization’s commitment to true Christian morals, allowing homosexuals into the ranks and leadership of its troops,’ Keyes wrote.
‘All Christian churches should immediately and spontaneously withdraw from their cooperation with the BSA’s corporate entity which would, from that point on, be usurping the name and reputation of the Scouting movement. The thunderous impression of their withdrawal would alert and warn all believers of the pitfall any association with the usurpers must henceforward entail.’
‘It will speedily become evident that what masquerades as tolerance is actually indoctrination, seeking to mould boys according to the standard the BSA trustees will have raised above God’s standard.’
‘On many campuses now, refusal to experiment with homosexuality is frowned upon as a sign of bigotry, so henceforth in Scouting braking down this prejudice would be recognized as a meritorious activity,’ Keyes claimed.
‘Though camouflaged in different words there will be a merit badge for this experimentation as part of the regime of homosexual indoctrination.’
Yes, you read that right: Merit Badges for gay sex. I suppose it will even out the program with the Knot Tying Merit Badge for bondage, though. And let’s forget the Animal Husbandry one entirely. This is, after all, a family blog.
“Local news site WPBF.com reported that a group of Satanists plans to hold a rally outside Scott’s office on Jan. 25 to support the governor’s signing of a bill that allows students to pray at school events.”
Water seeks its own level, Rick. But on the positive side, Satanists might actually support you.
(Yahoo)
I would think that this is from The Onion, except the fine line between comedy and tragedy is erased:
Randolph Linn, 52, accepted a plea deal in which he pled guilty to all charges in connection to setting a fire in the prayer room at the Islamic Center of Greater Toledo on Sept. 30. Under the deal, Linn is expected to serve 20 years in prison instead of 40.
Linn explained to the court that he had gotten “riled up” after watching Fox News.
“And I was more sad when Judge [Jack] Zouhary asked him that, ‘Do you know any Muslims or do you know what Islam is?’” one mosque member who attended the hearing recalled to WNWO. “And he said, ‘No, I only know what I hear on Fox News and what I hear on radio.’”
“Muslims are killing Americans and trying to blow stuff up,” Linn also reportedly told the judge. “Most Muslims are terrorists and don’t believe in Jesus Christ.”
“Incest is so rare, I mean it’s so rare. But the rape thing, you know, I know a woman who was raped and kept the child, gave it up for adoption and doesn’t regret it. In fact, she’s a big pro-life proponent. But, on the rape thing it’s like, how does putting more violence onto a woman’s body and taking the life of an innocent child that’s a consequence of this crime, how does that make it better?”
–John Koster, GOP Candidate for Congress in Washington state
Another white male GOPer standing up for rape. Again, we are in a War against Theocracy, wherein the first major battle is the War on Women.
“Can you imagine in the middle of a disaster to ask for appropriations for mitigating future disasters? That’s why I said no on that second round of appropriations for Katrina…because they spent it on Gucci bags and massage parlors and everything you can think of — in addition to what was necessary.”
–Rep. Steven King (R-Jeebusland) explaining why he wants a detailed plan for Sandy disaster relief, because you know, the Blahs following Katrina was wasted money…
“…You can read the Constitution from front to back, back to front, upside down, from right to left and hanging from a chandelier and you will find no mention whatsoever of any right to engage in sodomy. You won’t find it because it’s not there. It simply does not exist as a constitutional right, no matter what the fevered brains of six black-robed tyrants said in 2003.”
–Bryan Fischer
Oh, look, he said something else:
In fact, the Supreme Court correctly ruled in 1999 that “a person has no constitutional right to engage in sexual intercourse, at least outside of marriage.” It is perfectly permissible and constitutional to take all forms of sexual intercourse that occur outside the union of one man and one woman in marriage and make them contrary to public policy.
And you guys think I’m kidding that we are in a war against Theocracy?
…is a front on the war for Theocracy.
I know we harp on this a lot, but there is a reason. The Xristian Xrazies want nothing less than complete theocracy here in the United States. And while the War on Women seems like it must be a separate thing, it is absolutely related. Just listen to them:
And yeah, I don’t have the plumbing to make it my personal issue, BUT I think denying choice and subjugating women to being breeding mares is important to everyone. Today it is Choice, what will it be tomorrow? It is a slippery slope.
Anyway, love the ad, I believe in using peoples own words whenever possible. More please.
Oh, gawd, we’re back to rape-rape, which is different from rape, because, you know, the female body has a way of shutting it down. And that’s why Rep. Todd Akin, the Republican nominee for Senate in Missouri, doesn’t think abortion in the case of rape is really an issue.
“Legitimate rape.” Let that one sink in for a moment.
This is the sort of magical thinking that Wingnuts often use to justify women as being sluts. She wanted it. The fact that she got pregnant following a rape/incest/whatever proves it.
UPDATE 1: I misspoke. Um, no. You said what you meant, pal.
Ah, Rick Warren, the corpulent Christ-Molester has told the employees of his Saddleback Church, Inc., that they are not allowed to use the Twitters if they follow any atheists:
Some of you (and some of our church accounts -like our 12 cities accounts) are following people on Twitter that you should NOT be following.
I frequently notice that often atheists, critics of saddleback, and mean-spirited or vulgar accounts often have dozens of staff or Saddleback accounts following them! This is true even when these people only have a very few follower. Because of automatic adds, we often make up the majority of followers of these mean-spirited Christian or anti-Christian folks!
Ever wonder if he is stalking his employees?
You shouldn’t. He is.
It is not a good thing. The immigrants do not share American values, so it is a good bet that they will not be voting Republican when they start voting in large numbers.
[...]
Instead, the USA is being transformed by immigrants who do not share those values, and who have high rates of illiteracy, illegitimacy, and gang crime, and they will vote Democrat when the Democrats promise them more food stamps.
–The Eagle Forum
And thus we learn that crazy old hell-beast Phyllis Schlafly believes in ripping off the bandaid. Still, bonus points for not sugar-coating their hatred.
…it is actually a war on democracy to establish a theocracy. Anyway, meet Jesse Lee Peterson, who is definitely leading one of the GOP charges against women. His position is that women are responsible for mankind being shown the exit from Eden, you know, because she tempted Adam to eat the apple.
The way I understood the apple story was that women brought knowledge to men.
(Via BuzzFeed)
Blue-eyed Snidely Whiplash Wannabe and Very Serious Person Paul Ryan is a long-noted Ayn Rand Fanboy, going so far as to make reading her terrible dirty books (and they are) a requirement to work in his office.
Fast forward to his current spitting match with the Jesuits at Georgetown (and good luck arguing with a Jesuit priest) who condemn Ryan’s “granny-starving budget” (thanks Charlie Pierce) on social justice grounds (ie, we should all help the poor), he is now claiming that he doesn’t like Ayn Rand because she was an atheist.
So, in short: the granny-starver (thanks Charlie!) must have realized that deifying an atheist wouldn’t help his Catholic “social justice” defenses of his budget.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing a budget bill being discussed on theological grounds. (How many pinheads can dance on a budget, Ryan?) Our creeping Theocracy continues!
“This assault on the sanctity of human life takes me where I cannot go. I WILL NOT pay the surcharge for abortion services. The amount of the surcharge is irrelevant. To pay one cent for the killing of babies is egregious to me, and I will do all I can to correct a government that lies to me about its intentions and then tries to coerce my acquiescence with extortion. It would be a violation of my most deeply held convictions to disobey what I consider to be the principles in Scripture. The Creator will not hold us guiltless if we turn a deaf ear to the cries of His innocent babies. So come and get me if you must, Mr. President. I will not bow before your wicked regulation.”
–James Dobson
Mr. Dobson longs for nothing less than a theocracy. I should note: an Evangelical Xristian Xrazie theocracy. I’m sure he’d object if it wasn’t his sect.
I know it may shock your tender sensibilities, but that He-man Woman-hating Club of note, the Vatican and its leader, former Nazi Youth and current Pope-a-saurus Bennie-the-Rat has had it up to it’s Prada Surplice with those men-hating women, The Nuns:
The Vatican’s assessment, issued on Wednesday, said that members of the group, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, had challenged church teaching on homosexuality and the male-only priesthood, and promoted “radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith.”
So what were those radical feminist themes?
“I’m stunned,” said Sister Simone Campbell, executive director of Network, a Catholic social justice lobby founded by sisters. Her group was also cited in the Vatican document, along with the Leadership Conference, for focusing its work too much on poverty and economic injustice, while keeping “silent” on abortion and same-sex marriage.
As Baby Jeebus would want it to be, the end.
(NYTimes via Rising Hegemon)
(Hat tip: Scissorheads Abo Gato and everyone else who noticed that the theocrats all dropped out)
Anyway, who would have thought that a guy like
Someone giving head to Pat Robertson. That is all.
Bennie-the-Rat commissions custom-blended eau de cologne
For 1 point awarded towards your final grade, tell us what the holy toilet water smells like. In the comments, please.
Homosexuality does not relate to sexuality. It’s a whole different thing… I can write the [abstinence-only] curriculum really simply. If you’re homosexual you have a high degree of [contracting] some STD. What else do you need to know? What else do I need to teach?
–Utah State Rep. Bill Wright (R)
…with a more local Frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter, this would be the unholy theocrat of that union.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Keith-Not-Keith)
“…to say that people of faith have no role in the public square? You bet that makes me want to throw up.”
–Pope Frothy Sanctimonious I
(Frothy was doubling-down on his statement from last fall that he “almost threw up” after reading JFK’s 1960 speech in which he declared his commitment to the separation of church and state, which makes perfect sense that the first Catholic President would make the would-be second Catholic president barf.)
“I don’t believe in an America where the separation of Church and state is absolute. The idea that the Church can have no influence and no involvement in the operation of the state is absolutely antithetical to the objectives and vision of our country. This is the First Amendment. The First Amendment says the free exercise of religion — that means bringing in everybody, people of faith and no faith into the public square.”
–Pope Frothy Sanctimonious I
The WaPo tells us that The South Has Risen Again in the format preferred by Wingnuttia – concern against voter fraud, centered–as luck would have it–on those dusky minorities and Olds who might vote Democratic if left to their own devices. If our zombie attorney general Paul Holder were actually alive, something might be done about it.
Anyway, here’s the gist of the news from Virginia, which is for lovers I’m told:
FOR DECADES Virginia has allowed residents who lack proof of identification or whose IDs have been lost or stolen to vote, provided they are listed in the voting rolls and sign sworn statements attesting to their identities. Now, in response to no known problem, Republicans are backing a change already approved by the House of Delegates that would allow such citizens to cast only provisional ballots, which would be counted only if their identities were subsequently verified with IDs. Given that 11 percent of voting-age citizens nationally lack photo IDs, that would place unmanageable burdens on thousands of would-be voters in the commonwealth.
Terrible shame, that. But now it gets interesting for us, Scissorheads: the Wingnut who is proposing disenfranchising seniors and women in particular is none other than our old pal Mark L. Cole (R-Fredericksburg). Remember him?
Mark L. Cole (R-Fredericksburg) has graced these pages before when he proposed a law that only the modern Theocrat could love: he proposed that employers be banned from microchipping their employees. Now, the fact that this has never happened was no deterrent to Cole’s cause, he was to save the very soul of the Confederacy from perdition! You see, microchipping your employees might be misinterpreted when Jeebus returns to walk amongst us that you are in league with Satan.
Dicey stuff, that. Imagine one day you are in the company café, and ol’ Beelzebub shows up bearing blackened redfish and offer you some, you know, if you’ll just get chipped. We guess he’s from H.R. Whatchagonnado?
There you are, a devout southern Republican, suddenly in Armageddon face to face with Vengeful Jeebus, who spots your microchip, and so ZAP! Off to the bad place you go! Virginia’s own Cole wanted to prevent that from happening, so, you know, he sponsored the legislation to forbid Old Nick from chipping away your soul. Cole literally wanted to save the souls of the state. You virgins should be thankful.
Now, of course, it is a strange leap for a Republican to think that the Eternal Fiend is the CEO of any company (CEOs are by definition enlightened beings, right?), but there you have it. Cole’s bill to forbid microchipping oddly never passed. Let’s hope his latest plan to disenfranchise voters doesn’t pass as well.
(WaPo)
“As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created [rape -TG], it still is her child. And whether she has that child or doesn’t, it will always be her child. And she will always know that.
–Frothy Santorum
I don’t know how I missed this one. So, according to Frothy, when God gives you rape, make lemonade?
I want to be very clear about this: the Santorum story about baby Gabriel is how you spin an abortion story. They are using the reaction to the part about taking the aborted fetus home to distract from the point that it was an abortion to save Karen Santorum’s life, which is an option that theocrat Rick Santorum would deny to every woman other than Karen.
That does not make the tragedy of losing a baby any less, well, tragic.
Here’s the basic details:
Fatal birth defects happen a lot, it is not a happy event, it is a tragedy.
That said, this is exactly the decision that Rick Santorum wants to take away from everyone else. His no exceptions to save the life of the mother means that his wife Karen would have died under his theocratic vision of America.
As for taking the aborted baby home to meet the other kids, I have no idea what they were thinking, but perhaps in their torment it made sense. I don’t think many of us would do that.
I do NOT make fun of the decision to save Karen Santorum’s life. I think it was the responsible thing for them to do, the only choice that they could make. I do however take umbrage that this story is being spun to distract from the fact that Rick and Karen Santorum aborted a baby to save her life, but would deny that option for everyone else.
If the media were doing its job, they would point out the Santorum’s hypocrisy rather than call liberal commentators (what few that there are) insensitive monsters for saying that bringing home the dead fetus was weird. It’s the worst sort of spin.
Rick Santorum is a monster.
(ABC News is whitewashing this whole thing; here is the NYTimes story where Gabriel first makes his appearance on the national stage.)
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