The WaPo tells us that The South Has Risen Again in the format preferred by Wingnuttia – concern against voter fraud, centered–as luck would have it–on those dusky minorities and Olds who might vote Democratic if left to their own devices. If our zombie attorney general Paul Holder were actually alive, something might be done about it.
Anyway, here’s the gist of the news from Virginia, which is for lovers I’m told:
FOR DECADES Virginia has allowed residents who lack proof of identification or whose IDs have been lost or stolen to vote, provided they are listed in the voting rolls and sign sworn statements attesting to their identities. Now, in response to no known problem, Republicans are backing a change already approved by the House of Delegates that would allow such citizens to cast only provisional ballots, which would be counted only if their identities were subsequently verified with IDs. Given that 11 percent of voting-age citizens nationally lack photo IDs, that would place unmanageable burdens on thousands of would-be voters in the commonwealth.
Terrible shame, that. But now it gets interesting for us, Scissorheads: the Wingnut who is proposing disenfranchising seniors and women in particular is none other than our old pal Mark L. Cole (R-Fredericksburg). Remember him?
Mark L. Cole (R-Fredericksburg) has graced these pages before when he proposed a law that only the modern Theocrat could love: he proposed that employers be banned from microchipping their employees. Now, the fact that this has never happened was no deterrent to Cole’s cause, he was to save the very soul of the Confederacy from perdition! You see, microchipping your employees might be misinterpreted when Jeebus returns to walk amongst us that you are in league with Satan.
Dicey stuff, that. Imagine one day you are in the company café, and ol’ Beelzebub shows up bearing blackened redfish and offer you some, you know, if you’ll just get chipped. We guess he’s from H.R. Whatchagonnado?
There you are, a devout southern Republican, suddenly in Armageddon face to face with Vengeful Jeebus, who spots your microchip, and so ZAP! Off to the bad place you go! Virginia’s own Cole wanted to prevent that from happening, so, you know, he sponsored the legislation to forbid Old Nick from chipping away your soul. Cole literally wanted to save the souls of the state. You virgins should be thankful.
Now, of course, it is a strange leap for a Republican to think that the Eternal Fiend is the CEO of any company (CEOs are by definition enlightened beings, right?), but there you have it. Cole’s bill to forbid microchipping oddly never passed. Let’s hope his latest plan to disenfranchise voters doesn’t pass as well.