Start in at about the 5-minute mark to hear theocrat Screwy Louie tell Christy Zink that she should have carried her brain-dead fetus to term, you know, just in case.
So tell us, Louie, when does an egg become poultry, you theocratic assrocket?
“[The Kenyan Usurper] sees the world and Israel from a Muslim perspective.”
–Rev. E.W. Jackson, Virginia’s GOP nominee for lieutenant governor, in his acceptance speech.
Virginia is cutting to the chase and nominating preachers now in their quest to form a theocracy.
“…but if y’all want to feel something hard, Ah’m your man,” Sanford did not say while winking and flicking his lizard tongue.
“What I’m going to do is, in essence, look under the hood at a whole host of things,” he said. “What are y’all wearing?,” he did not say while breathing hard.
(The Hill)
Do your Jazzercize for Jeebus of Xanadu!
(Hat tip: @Argylestyle and @kelleibrat61 on Twitter)
“[If the Boy Scouts don't maintain their anti-gay policy] then what do we stand for as a country?”
–Rep. Steve Palazzo (R-MS)
Palazoo is such a schmuck, he’ll probably get his dick caught in the zipper of his body bag. Only guessing, of course.
“All of us are fallible, we make mistakes, we say things the wrong way. I’ve relived that moment many, many times.”
–Todd Akin on his infamous legitimate rape comment.
The quote bothers me because of the we say things the wrong way clause. So… what was the right way to say what you meant, Todd?
Bad-haired GOP sex-lizard and notorious Appalachian trail hiking, amateur castanet playing Lothario, South Carolina Governor Mark “Kiss Me South of the Border” Sanford decided to do a little, um, tit for tat, so to speak. Here’s the sequence of events as near as I can tell:
One of the people whose number he published responded, “I’m not too happy about it and I’m not sure what the point was. He’s a representative, he’s supposed to respond to us, not to try to get back at us,” which says just about everything you need to know about Mark Sanford and the run-of-the-mill Xristian Xrazie scold who has been caught dipping his finger into the honey pot.
So, on the plus side: Sanford now has a lot of phone numbers to call, you know, when he has an urge. Hubba-hubba! But wouldn’t it be easier for Sanford just to take out a Craig’s List ad?
Sex is the most filthy, vile, disgusting, and degrading activity that two people can do to each other, which is why it should only happen after you are happily married.
I think that is about all that Ohio Republicans allowed teachers to say on the subject…
Westboro Baptist Church plans to protest the funerals of the people killed in Boston. Because, you know, “fag marriage:”
“The federal government is classifying the bombs as a terrorist attack, but say it’s unclear if it’s of a domestic or foreign nature,” the release said. “Here’s a hint — GOD SENT THE BOMBS! How many more terrifying ways will you have the LORD injure and kill your fellow countrymen because you insist on nation-dooming filthy fag marriage?!”
Baby Jeebus with a firecracker! What the hell is University of Texas historian Jeremi Suri doing proposing we preemptively bomb (nuke? Yes.) North Korea? Did some of the stupid leak over from Chimpy’s Liberry and coloring book emporium at SMU?
One would think that a historian would, you know, remember some history? I can only conclude that Jeremi Suri is aiming to write the definitive court history of Chimpy’s Reign of Error, probably with contributions from the whole, doomed PNAC crowd and special forward by Rummie and Cheney.
(NYTimes)
In his doomed quest to be the next governor, Xristian Xrazie homophobe VA. Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli is calling for oral sex to be illegal in his state.
Next up, he is going to propose changing the name of the state because it sounds too much like a lady’s woo-woo.
Noted Volcano Scholar and famous Boy Exorcist Bobby Jindal has withdrawn his plan to eliminate corporate income taxes (and personal income taxes, too) and replace them with a sales tax:
“In a speech opening the 2013 legislative session, Jindal is telling lawmakers that he is taking his plan off the table even as he said he will not “pout” or “take his ball and go home,” instead asking lawmakers to develop and pass their own version of a plan to phase out the state’s income tax, according to a copy of the governor’s prepared remarks.”
Get that: my plan is dead, so you guys get to make my plan. No, really:
“I realize that some of you think I haven’t been listening. But you’ll be surprised to learn I have been. And here is what I’ve heard from you and from the people of Louisiana — yes, we do want to get rid of the income tax, but governor you’re moving too fast… Already, several of you have filed plans that phase out the income tax. So, let’s work together to pass a bill this session to get rid of our state income tax.”
Actually, Governor, I think that the people of LA are telling you to go pro with your Kenneth-the-Page impersonation. Jindal’s approval ratings have dropped from 60% to 38%.
(Nola.com)
The trailer warns “If homosexual activists achieve their goal, it will be the criminalization of Christianity.” It goes on to claim that: ”Time and freedom are running out”, and that if ”gays win, Christians lose.”
Because no one is more discriminated against and put upon than the Xristian Xrazies.
It’s not a real movie trailer, look at the end, it is the default stuff from Apple’s iMovie software. RightWingWatch tells us that the last film project by Porter (in 2010), True 2 Life, never made it off the ground. Porter is the author of the book The Criminalization of Christianity, which was published in 2009. So… maybe she is trying again?
“Who do you love more, Christ or your coffee?”
–Robert Breaud, self-loathing, ex-gay best known for his song It’s Not OK To Be Gay, rhetorically, to Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz
Our friends at the Family Research Council are trying to help Minnesota understand the error of their ways as a Marriage Equality Bill wends its way through the statehouse, so they have put together a Sermon Starter Kit for the local pastors to use, you know, to celebrate the Love of Jeebus.
The kit includes the usual Sodom and Gomorra greatest hits, Adam and Eve (not Adam and Steve), and of course Joseph Goebel’s Nazi Philosophy of Propaganda. Because gays & Nazis, why not?
Anyway, the kicker is that FRC hired someone from Southern Baptist Church, based in D.C. to write this thing to give to Minnesotan pastors.
(BuzzFeed)
Oh, Lord. You gave them eyes but they do not see. Ears, but they do not listen. Brains, well, you forgot to give them those. Mouths? Yeah, they use them. A Lot.
Leaving “discretion up to the State HHS director” is messed-up. Just wait from some Xristian Xrazie to get in that office.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead KCTomato)
“[The Violence Against Women Act] is a truly bad bill. This is helping the liberals, this is horrible. Unbelievable. What really bothers — it’s called a women’s act, but then they have men dressed up as women, they count that. Change-gender, or whatever. How is that — how is that a woman?”
–Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX)
“If the Republican Party abandons traditional marriage there is no Republican Party,” he said. “You drive the social conservatives out and throw them to the side of the road, there’s no republican party. They’ll go start a third party.”
–Brian Brown, president of NOM.
First off: do you promise me that, Brian?
Secondly, I’m fine with the GOP breaking into two separate parties that have absolutely no ability to elect anyone again. Please be right, Brian.
(HuffPo)
“Just because I believe states should have the right to define marriage in a traditional way does not make me a bigot.”
–Marco Rubio
No, Marco, it makes you a Xristian Xrazie homophobic bigot.
Pope Francis (not to be confused with the famous movie star talking mule) has just assumed the throne of St. Peter. He is the first Latin Pontiff, and a spritely 76, he should be around for a while, unless of course Cardinal Dolan has him capped.
Pope Francis likes long walks on the beach and kitties, and helping the poor, but is turned off by gay people and anyone having sex.
(HuffPo)
“…I’d find the man of my dreams here.”
Honest to God, she’s stalking Cardinal Dolan.
(No word from Karl Rove on who the Koch Brothers are backing.)
Hey guys, remember that time this morning when the world learned that one of the Cardinals selecting the pope lived on floor above the largest gay bathhouse in all of Europe?
Me Neither!
But anyway, here’s the website for that undercover, subtle gay bath house that has CARDINAL IVAN DIAS as the upstairs neighbor. No wonder he was fooled and didn’t notice that he lived above a gay bath house.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Karen Zipdrive via the electronic mail technology)
“We believe that [Obamacare] is going to collapse under its own weight… This to us is something that we’re not going to give up on, because we’re not going to give up on destroying the health care system for the American people.”
–Paul Ryan
“We love you. We won’t discriminate against you as gay and lesbian persons, God willing, in the future. But marriage is not in the cards for you.”
–Helen Alvare, George Mason University Law School professor, today, on Focus on the Family’s radio program
Tom Latham has dropped out of the race for Tom Harkin’s Senate seat when he retires in 2014, so it looks like Steve King has the GOP nomination locked in. Todd Akin II: Electric Boogaloo.
(Thanks to Scissorhead Moeman)
VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Benedict XVI will be known as “emeritus pope” in his retirement and will continue to wear a white cassock, the Vatican announced Tuesday, again fueling concerns about potential conflicts arising from having both a reigning and a retired pope.
But what about THE RED SHOES?!
“Lombardi also further described Benedict’s final 48 hours as pope: On Tuesday, he was packing, arranging for documents to be sent to the various archives at the Vatican and separating out the personal papers he will take with him into retirement.”
Must be his spank-bank. Or all the stuff that implicates him in the sex abuse and cover-up.
(Yahoo News via The Charm School Dropout)
Hey guys, did you know that the reason the GOP lost the election was because the GOP did not communicate their economic positions clearly? It’s True!, according to boy exorcist, volcano scholar, and Kenneth-the-Page impersonator Bobby (Bubba) Jindal.
Voucher-crazed theocrat Jindal thinks that young people will flock to the GOP if they could just get the right dog whistle message to them because, you know, kids are down with the oppression of gay people and think that corporations just don’t have enough power, and you know, chicks dig not controlling their vaginas.
Actually, Bubba, I suspect that the kids, ethnic minorities, and women (demographics the GOP lost by huge majorities) understand your message all too well, but good luck on telling your base to quit being stupid at the same time you promote the same, hateful, fascist, and misogynist policies.
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