Fox News Gets Another Award! - Liver-spotted lying hobgoblin Rupert Murdoch gets another award for his mantel piece. Media Matters has bestowed Fox News’ LGBT expert Dr. Keith Ablow with the much-coveted Misinformer of the Year award. It should be noted that Ablow was forced to resign from the American Psychiatric Association for his consistent misrepresentation (lies? Yes.) on these issues. (Media Matters)
Endorsements! - Serial adulterer and blow job aficionado Newt Gingrich gets the endorsement of notorious hate group American Family Association founder Donald E. Wildmon. The AFA believes, amongst many other beliefs that non-Christians should not be protected by the Constitution. (The Ticket)
New Artwork Commissioned - Last night, after defeating the extension of the so-called payroll tax holiday, the Ship of Fools, er, the US Congress resolved That the Architect of the Capitol place an appropriate statue or bust of Sir Winston Churchill in the United States Capitol at a location directed by the House Fine Arts Board in consultation with the Speaker. Because, you know, when the Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby President Obama returned the bust of Winston Churchill to the UK it was a slap in the face to all Americans. What? (Think Progress)
Sarah Palin says it’s not too late for someone to jump into the Republican presidential race. Asked by Fox Business Network’s “Follow the Money” about the likelihood that she’d become a candidate, the former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee said it’s not too late for “folks” to jump in. Said Palin: “Who knows what will happen in the future.”
The full interview is scheduled for broadcast Monday night.
Palin told Fox News Channel over the weekend that she felt no enthusiasm for anyone in the current GOP field and that she needed to feel something before she would offer an endorsement.
I-o-wa-ay, here I come
Right back where I started from.
Where droppers of A-bombs boom in the sun.
Each morning at dawning, immigrants flee and everything.
A teabag miss said, "fascist state"
that's why my birth certificate won't wait
Millionaires get a lower rate
I-o-wa-ay here I come
(Think Progress) – “Now that Newt is the leading contender in the race for the GOP nomination, we felt compelled to make a point to illustrate how times have changed when a serial divorcee/adulterer is capturing the hearts of the American people.”
Look Who’s Squawking - Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin has inserted herself into the 2012 Goat Rodeo. No, Mooselini is not running, she’s announcing that she is not ready to endorse any of the candidates. The thing is, Mooselini, no one is asking. Stupid twat-waffle. (TPM)
Get off the cross, we need the wood - As we all know, no one in this country is more oppressed, abused, and disenfranchised than the Xristian Xrazies, amiright? Of course I am. Anyway, you can help out your local martyr by ranking the top-10 outrages that the moral minority minions have had to suffer through this year. (Defend Christians)
Armed and Stupid - What is Petunia going to do now that the NRA is sending out Happy Holiday greetings. The War on Christmas just got interesting. (Media Matters)
Nothing starts my day like listening to Petunia bleating an assertion of motive not backed by any evidence as a teaser to having short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump join her on the couch to discuss conspiracy theories.
Sizzling-hot and beloved FLOTUS has a date with a dude not her husband!
20 year old Marine Lance Corporal Aaron Leeks from Frederick, Maryland has asked First Lady Michelle Obama to accompany him to the Marine Corps Ball next November. “With your husband’s permission of course,” said Leeks.
The first lady responded, “I’d love to” and brought an aide over to get his information. The first lady met Leeks at a Toys-for-Tots event at Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling located in southeast Washington, DC.
Now can you imagine anyone asking Pickles out? I cannot either.
(Think Progress) Theocrat secessionist dillweed Rick Perry thinks that there are only 20,000 people in the military. Good for the 14-year old kid for challenging him about repealing DADT, though.
Dim Bulbs - When the GOP defended our freedoms to have old-fashioned inefficient light bulbs (but no jobs or unemployment insurance)–the only legislative accomplishment for 2011 (well, maybe?), they thought that they were doing their Masters bidding! But guess what? Their Masters were looking forward to selling these new light bulbs, and now they’re kinda pissed at the GOP! (Politico)
It gets better - Superficial sanctimonious Xristian Xrazy ball-throwing person and Rick Perry’s role model, Tim Tebow, is being petitioned by his fans to record an It Gets Better video, you know, that helps encourage kids to not kill themselves after being bullied by superficial and sanctimonious Xristian Xrazies. (The Huddle)
Newt Gingrich and his merry men have spent a lot of time talking about how children should become janitors. We have the germ of the idea on film (considering they are all germs)
OK, I’ve been busy. Tonight is the big annual cookie party in the neighborhood. The idea is that everyone shows up with a tray of home-made cookies, and then everyone leaves with a tray of assorted home-made cookies. It seems to be some sort of old Italian tradition, and it is really kind of nice.
Anyway, today I made my famous Schweddy Balls:
OK, actually they are Rum Balls. The thing about rum (or bourbon balls) is that the dough has to be able to absorb the moisture from the booze, and the chocolate needs to be strong enough flavored to not be overwhelmed by the rum. And so as you can guess there is a secret to it, but surprisingly it is not about technique, well not much anyway.
Here’s the secret: You start by making a batch of your best brownies from scratch. Please don’t use a mix, you need real semi-sweet chocolate. And here’s the technique part: make them in a very, well-buttered large sheet pan (in the trade these are called half-sheets) so they cook quickly and come out very thin. You want to do this for two reasons: 1) they cook really fast, maybe 10 minutes and 2) they turn out more cake-like than brownie-like. This is important because the cake-like brownie can absorb liquid, where the thick traditional brownie cannot.
Now comes the fun part: after the thin brownies have cooled (at least 10 minutes for me), you want to rip them up into tiny bits and put them into the bowl of your stand mixer; I used two forks and just shred them into crumbs. Once you have the whole sheet pan in crumbs in the bowl of your mixer, use the paddle and start pouring in rum. Dark Rum, the best you can afford.
The hard part is knowing how much rum to add, so pour slowly and when the whole mass starts to form a ball, stop. I find that it is usually between 1/4 cup and 1/2 cup, depending on the weather.
Now break off pieces of the rummy dough and roll them around in the palms of your hands to make, well, balls. You want to make dense, single-bite balls. Put them on a sheet pan and into your fridge for a couple of hours to firm up. If you want, you can roll them around in sprinkles BEFORE you put them in the ice box, but if you did not roll them in sprinkles right after forming them, you can now roll your balls in powdered sugar or cocoa powder if you believe in gilding the lily.
Always let people know that there is booze in these things. You don’t want to cause a relapse if your guests have addiction issues.
Anyway, enjoy my Schweddy Balls this Holiday Season.
I believe that is called the Divine Right of Kings, Newticles. You might want to look that up sometime, history-boy.
But what is really funny is that he declares that the Roberts-led court is not an activest court, and in the debate he said that he liked all the conservative members, but above all others, he liked Fat Tony, who is probably the most corrupt of the lot and who would burn the Bill of Rights if given the chance.
–NBC’s “Meet the Press”: Speaker John Boehner; Rep. Michele Bachmann; Romney campaign surrogate Gov. Nikki Haley (R-SC); roundtable with Washington Post columnist E.J. Dionne and Republican strategist Mike Murphy
–ABC’s “This Week”: “Great American Debate” on the subject: “There is too much government in my life,” roundtable with Rep. Barney Frank, former Clinton Labor Secretary and University of California at Berkley professor Robert Reich, Rep. Paul Ryan and ABC News’ George Will (live, with a studio audience, from the Newseum)
–CBS’s “Face the Nation”: Newt Gingrich
–”Fox News Sunday”: Mitt Romney; roundtable with the Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol, former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), Republican strategist Ed Rollins and Fox News’ Juan Williams
Oh, Peggington Noonington is going to be poured onto set at CNN.
What Gropey McPizza doesn’t tell you is that the fire behind him? That’s Hell. I also like the way that Gloria pre-emptively takes his hand before Black Walnut gropes someone.
A post inspired by the observations of xkcd, here’s some new holiday music. Mike Doughty and Rosanne Cash – Holiday. Simple and nice.
While reading up on this song and the collaboration, I found out Ghost Brothers of Darkland County is a thing at a place that is actually going to happen. I never knew John Mellencamp and Stephen King were collaborating on a project for over 10 years.
Couch-dwelling carbon life forms think that Newticles tirade to pack the courts is a good thing.
All I can say is that Dr. Zaius must be a very happy ape tonight as Comic Book Super Heroines do breast self-exams. (The Sideshow)
Wingnuttia’s most loathsome band of mendacious turds is now accusing Planned Parenthood of hiring underaged sex promotors, you know, to drum up bidness:
“We’ve got perverts corrupting teens and then training them to be perverted and corrupt other teens,” Hamill laments. “This is disgusting, and it has to stop.”
Baby-faced, hate-spewing dwarf and failed Xristian Xrazy GOP Candidate from the glory years Gary Bauer needs to raise big money to help attack the godless socialists of Occupy Wall Street. (American Values)
One of Hitch’s official portraits from an interview – great sense of self-deprecating humor.
Hitch lost his battle with cancer last night. He was 62. You can find all the plaudits at all of the usual places, especially Vanity Fair. There’s a strange symmetry that Hitch died on the same day that the Iraq War ended, as the two were so intimately linked.
I admired him greatly, even though I disagreed with him on the Iraq war and his strange conversion to being a neocon. I think he commanded the language, his works speaks for itself; Gore Vidal and he would debate live in front of crowds during the early parts of the Iraq war, and always left the stage as friends.
I think he left our stage as friends, too. He will be missed. Infuriatingly missed.
Scorecard - Theocrat and successful baby mill operator Michele Bachmann, while doing a full-frontal verbal assault on Newt Gingrich (who essentially said that The Nut was lying), replied to Newticles thusly:
“After the debates that we had last week, PolitiFact came out and said that everything that I said was true.”
It got the attention of PolitiFact and before the debate was over last night, The Nut had earned yet another Pants on Fire rating, her eleventh, for lying.
False Idols, False Comparisons - Noted theocrat secessionist dolt Rick Perry took the prize for talking about football and comparing himself to self-righteous Xristian Xrazie football player Tim Tebow. (LATimes)
Freedom at last! - Breathing freely today, my fellow hobos? Well, you should be! It looks like Congress might not shut down the gubmint this weekend afterall. The GOP won their much-coveted regulation roll-back on lightbulbs. (AP)
Live from just outside Nurse Rachett’s bidet, welcome to the Mock, Paper, Scissors coverage of the 2012 Goat Rodeo!
Tonights hashtag is (as always) #2012GoatRodeo, so if you want to play along, just include that in your tweets.
The Drinking Game should be self-evident by now, but just in case:
Reagan
Abortion/Plan B
Gay Marriage/DADT repeal
Beastiality (the Wingnuts have been hot and bothered by man-on-dog hubb-hubba action this week)
The Bet from last week
War on Christmas
Bonus shots might be announced at rAnDoM, like if Bachmann-the-Nut adjusts her tinfoil hat and hides behind a plant, or if noted theocrat secessionist Rick Perry freezes up again, or if Frothy pulls out a fetus jar and starts weeping.
Good luck, and Dawg Save Us All!
UPDATE: I removed the widget, but you can still search Twitter for the #2012GoatRodeo hashtag.
You link to me, I link to you; but I do not link to commercial eCommerce sites. Yes, it is that simple. Send me an email to let me know. Tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com.
