News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 10th, 2013

News you can use all day

(Fact-Free 5ive) BENGHAAAZI! So, Fox is now making ads to give away to GOP?

  • Lightening strikes twice in one week - Minnesota passes Marriage Equality, and it made this Republican lawmaker cry. No word from Marcus.
  • Breaking the law - Missouri (the show me yours state) passed clearly unconstitutional gun nullification laws that would make all Federal Gun Laws illegal in that state, and could criminalize anyone trying to enforce Federal Gun Laws. Mr. Holder on line 2… (Think Progress)
  • Best Gubmint Money Can Buy - The Congress just passed the dreadful workplace rules legislation that eliminates paid overtime along strict party-line votes. If passed by the Senate, it would allow employers to compensate employees with time off instead of paying overtime (which they can do now, anyway). (Raw Story)

Time to Vote, Scissorheads!

Posted by Tengrain May 9th, 2013

Our long-time pal Zen Comix needs a helping hand in a cartooning contest, so it is time to vote:

Voting is free and easy, and won’t take much time. Visit the page with my submission, “Truth or Consequences”. On the right side of the page is a red button that says “VOTE”. Click on it, and they will ask you sign up and log in with your email address. I’d really appreciate it if you’d vote for my cartoon and spread the word! Thanks!

UPDATES: Please Note–Only votes placed on the contest website will be counted (Facebook “likes” are not included). Voting is open until 3pm ET May 16.

From what I can understand, you can only vote once. So please vote, but only once.

Bad Ads – Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, cont.

Posted by Tengrain May 9th, 2013

Cigar is just a cigar

The Wheels of Justice…

Posted by Tengrain May 9th, 2013

…need a little more air:

Jeffrey Skilling, the convicted former Enron Corp. chief executive officer, may get out of prison in as little as four years if a judge approves a deal with prosecutors over objections by victims of one of the biggest corporate frauds in U.S. history.

Yes, former CEO of Enron and current Federal Prisoner Jeffrey Skilling decided to buy his freedom by giving “up all claims to $40 million in forfeited assets.” Which when you consider Enron’s initial bill for fraud was $40 BILLION makes it, oh… 1/10 of 1% of his ill-gotten gains.

That’ll learn him.

(Business Week)

News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 9th, 2013

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) If it’s Thursday, it must be Malkkkin. Also, too BENGHAAAZI!

  • Drowning man buys sinking ship - Microsoft is contemplating buying the assets of the failed Barnes and Noble Nook division, you know, to prop up their own failure for the Windows 8 Tablet. (Tech Crunch)
  • Corporate America - A group of agricultural workers in southern California lost their jobs last week when they took shelter to escape the ash-filled air blowing down on them ahead of one of the wildfires currently blazing in that state. (Raw Story)
  • Dog and Pony Show! - NOM’s Brian Brown admitted that there are no religious exemptions good enough for him. So the question remains, why try to put that sort of language into marriage equality bills at all if they will automatically reject it? (HRC)

Bad Ads – Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, cont.

Posted by Tengrain May 8th, 2013

Cigar is just a cigar

Happy Hour News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 8th, 2013

News straight-up

  • Sucker Born Every Minute, cont. - In case you missed it, the Arlington National Cemetery has been flooded with calls from angry patriots demanding that they not bury Boston Bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, which was news to them. (Washington Times)
  • Oklahoma, where the deer and the antelope play with guns - Hey guys, remember that time when OK Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City said, “the homosexual agenda is a bigger threat to America than terrorism.” Anyway, her husband is planning on running for office in OK, too! The Rev. Steve Kern announced Saturday he is seeking a state Senate seat in 2014. Kern says he supports anti-abortion and pro-family issues as well as fight for states’ rights. (News OK)
  • Grifters gotta grift! - Staff-banging serial adulterer Newticles will be the featured speaker at a Xristian Xrazie convocation led by none other than Jonathan Cahn, author of Xristian Xrazie bestseller Harbinger. No snake handlers have been scheduled but, you know, Callista will be there. (Notes on Religion)

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted by Tengrain May 8th, 2013

Do your Jazzercize for Jeebus of Xanadu!

(Hat tip: @Argylestyle and @kelleibrat61 on Twitter)

One-L Wants to Settle

Posted by Tengrain May 8th, 2013

bachmann-straight-jacket

Notorious baby mill operator, future resident of Bedlam, McCarthyite witch hunter, self-confessed confident of God, Miss November, the noted Constitutional Scholar, Bachmann-the-Nut is in settlement negotiations of a lawsuit that alleges that senior members of her presidential campaign stole a proprietary e-mail list of home-school families from the computer of an Iowa campaign staffer.

I’m sure one of the clauses will be that One-L admits no guilt in the matter. And another is that Marcus gets to keep the Judy Garland albums, but we are only guessing about that last part.

(TPM)

News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 8th, 2013

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) BENGHAAAZI!* Fox News analyst Lt. Col. Ralph Peters says that The Kenyan is “telling so many lies” that “they make Nigerian phone scammers look like paragons of integrity.”

Full disclosure: I went to High School with the late Ambassador Chris Stevens.

Bad Ads – Sometimes a cigare is just a cigar, cont.

Posted by Tengrain May 7th, 2013

Cigar is just a cigar

Happy Hour News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 7th, 2013

News on the rocks

Tony Perkins, the Xristian Xrazie leader of the hate group Family Research Council, says that Chris Broussard, the sportscaster who claimed that Jason Collins was rebelling against God, was the one who showed “real courage.”

  • Take your bat and ball and go home - Famous squirrel-frying gourmand Mike Huckabee is in contract negotiations for his radio show, and Limbough-like is threatening to quit. Please Gomer, overplay your hand. (Politico)
  • Speaking of Junkie Limbaugh - Cumulus Media CEO Lew Dickey reported a $2.4 million dollar decline in revenue associated with Junkie Limbaugh’s syndicated talk show. Dickey has reported millions in losses associated with Limbaugh in previous quarters as well. Buh-bye! (Media Matters)
  • I guess that’s a “no?” - Here’s the lede of the day, verbatim:

    “WASHINGTON, May 7, 2013 /Christian Newswire/ — On the eve of the special election for a vacant U.S. House seat in South Carolina the chairman of the very conservative Government Is Not God – PAC has very publicly refused to endorse the confessed adulterer who as Commander-in-Chief of South Carolina deserted his post for several days for a “hook-up” he had arranged online.”

    (Christian Newswire)

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted by Tengrain May 7th, 2013

This is allegedly the window cleaner at a children’s hospital. Too cool. That’s wonderful.

(via the Twitters — Link from Scissorhead Dimitrios in the comments.)

Glenn Reynolds: Why are there no Start-ups?

Posted by Tengrain May 7th, 2013

In his column today, Glenn Reynolds wonders why the current economic malaise is not generating start-ups, they way that they did in the Carter years, when Apple, Microsoft, and others began:

When the economy was last this bad for this long — back in the dreaded Jimmy Carter era — there was one upside: While inflation raged and unemployment stayed troublingly high in America’s big businesses, a lot was going on in America’s garages. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak were starting Apple, Bill Gates and friends were starting Microsoft and a variety of other new entrepreneurial ventures were lining up for takeoff.

So you might hope that there’s a similar silver lining in today’s economic Slough Of Despond. But so far, that hope would seem to be unjustified.

At any rate, the latest data indicate that start-ups are becoming rarer, not more common. A new report from JPMorgan economist Mike Feroli indicates that employment in start-ups is plunging. New jobs in the economy tend to come from new businesses, but we’re getting fewer new businesses. That doesn’t bode well.

Reynolds then goes on to blaming European-style socialism (taxes and regulation) for crushing the entrepreneurial spirit, and of course failing schools (ie, teachers unions). He says that the problem is cultural:

But I wonder if the biggest problem isn’t cultural. Since 2008, this country hasn’t celebrated achievement or entrepreneurialism. Instead, we’ve heard talk about the evils of the “1%” ” about the rapaciousness of capitalism, and the importance of spreading the wealth around. We’ve even heard that work in the public sector is somehow nobler than work in the private sector.

Well, Glenn, the problem might be more accurately described as a product of the policy of the United States. My friends in the start-up world have told me that as part of the agreement to get funding from the Venture Capitalists up on Sand Hill Road they must have a plan in place to not hire their engineering talent in the United States.

And why should they since the Clinton Administration forward there have been tax incentives and other incentives to move operations offshore? That’s policy, Glenn, policy that you promoted. And so in one swoop we are not only ensuring the rise of unemployment here in Silicon Valley and the rest of the country, we are also enabling low-wage countries to continue to exploit their workers. We’ve made the mistake of thinking of these low-wage countries as our partners, when in fact they are our competitors.

You decry that American kids are falling behind in math and science, and I agree, but I also see why. Here in the Valley, kids have grown up watching both of their parents work 80 hour weeks, forgo the family vacation because there is a new product release coming up, a tight schedule, a thousand reasons to work nights and weekends. They’ve watched their parents split up and get laid off, chewed up and spat out.

One of my friends from long ago, a brilliant man with a Computer Science degree from an A-list engineering college now works for Best Buy selling flat panel teevee machines, instead of designing them. So these kids, who should be the most likely to go into engineering and science, can see that it is a dead-end road. Kids are not stupid, Glenn. Why would they make the same mistakes as their parents?

(Glenn Reynolds in USA Today)

Fat Shaming Is Genderless

Posted by Tengrain May 7th, 2013

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey has had surgery to help him lose weight:

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) — Gov. Chris Christie secretly underwent gastric band surgery in February to try to lose weight at the urging of his family.

The father of four agreed to the surgery, in which a tube was placed around his stomach to restrict the amount of food he can eat, after turning 50 in September, he told The New York Post for a story in Tuesday’s edition. He said he wasn’t motivated by thoughts of running for president.

“I’ve struggled with this issue for 20 years,” he told the newspaper. “For me, this is about turning 50 and looking at my children and wanting to be there for them.”

…and of course, the speculation of a bid in the 2016 Goat Rodeo is running amok, along with a revival of the fat slob meme.

You know, body image shaming is not just for women, men get a fair amount of it, too. Some see it as a puritanical failing, giving in to the sin of gluttony, of being out of control. Some see fat people and immediately feel morally superior, without even knowing that person’s history.

Can we just stop it please?

I tend to believe Christie when he says that he is doing it for his family. I hope that there is not some image consultant saying that no one will vote for a fat guy and fat-shaming him into having a faily controversial procedure just for the sake of body image. If that’s the case, it’s pretty appalling.

Chris Christie is still a jerk, his policies are retrograde, his personality is abrasive (OK, he’s an asshole); there are a thousand reasons to dislike him and damn few to vote for him. But his being fat is not one of them.

The Morning Quote

Posted by Tengrain May 7th, 2013

“[If the Boy Scouts don't maintain their anti-gay policy] then what do we stand for as a country?”

–Rep. Steve Palazzo (R-MS)

Palazoo is such a schmuck, he’ll probably get his dick caught in the zipper of his body bag. Only guessing, of course.

News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 7th, 2013

News you can use all day

(Fox’s Fact-free 5ive) “The media are basically the college pals who are tossing Obama’s backpack,” says media personality.

  • Technology! - The world’s first 3-D printed gun was fired successfully, and the file is now available for free downloading. Bet the NRA will try to have this gun banned… it eats into their client’s profits. (Raw Story)
  • Rebranding Update! - Illinois GOP Party chair Pat Brady resigned following the months-long blowback from his support for Marriage Equality. So… how’s that kinder-gentler rebranding effort working for ya, Reince? (TPM)
  • Heritage v. Heritage - The widely-panned anti-immigration report from The Heritage Foundation is pitting Jim DeMint’s Heritage researchers vs. Heritage researchers in 2006 as they dispute the report. So… how’s that kinder-gentler rebranding effort working for ya, Reince? (Think Progress)

Bad Ads – Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, cont.

Posted by Tengrain May 6th, 2013

Cigar is just a cigar

Happy Hour News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 6th, 2013

News that will drive you to drink

Rev. Fishsticks says that The Kenyan is setting up the stage to take guns away from Xristian Xrazies and classify them as terrorists.

  • The New Majority - Silly maths! The new majority in the United States is not going to be people of color and youngsters voting for teh gays and enlightenment, and whatnot! It’s going to be Xristian Xrazies focused on opposing gay marriage and abortion rights, silly, and it will be led by Ted Cruz. Reminder to self: try mushrooms. (Christian Post)
  • Impeach the Kenyan! - Famous gourmand and failed theocratic candidate for Preznint Mike Huckabee is claiming again that The Kenyan Usurper will be impeached over BENGHAAAZI BENGHAAAZI BENGHAAAZI! (Politico)
  • The Pious Gingrich - Staff-banging serial adulterer Newticles continues to claim that Marriage Equality in Massachusetts made Catholic Charities illegal in that state. Note: Newticles converted to Catholicism upon cheating upon Wife #2 in order to marry his mistress/blow-job queen Wife #3 Callista. (Insert your own chrome/bumper imagery here.) (Think Progress)

Tweet, Twit, Twat

Posted by Tengrain May 6th, 2013

I thought at first this job posting at Twitter had to be a joke:

Media – Head of News and Journalism (SF or NY)

Full-Time — New York City, NY

Twitter is playing an integral role in the evolution of the news industry — both as a tool for reporters and newsrooms and as a way for consumers to find news in real-time. Twitter has already changed the way news breaks and provided journalists new ways to connect with their readers. We are looking for a seasoned leader to shape and drive the next growth phase of Twitter’s partnership with the news industry. We believe Twitter is a valuable complement to the great work already being done and want to find ways for Twitter to help ensure the industry’s success.

You will be responsible for devising and executing the strategies that make Twitter indispensable to newsrooms and journalists, as well as an essential part of the operations and strategy of news organizations and TV news networks. You should have a strong vision for the broad potential of Twitter and news, while also being able to rigorously manage and scale the news team’s daily impact.

You will be also Twitter’s representative to the News industry. You will manage Twitter’s partnerships with newsrooms in the United States as well its relationships with journalists. You will be responsible for representing Twitter at industry events.

You must have deep experience leading teams in reporting, editing or managing journalists, as well as a strong record of executing strategic partnerships. (This role will report to Head of Media)

But if it is, then the Guardian UK fell for it.

The thing is, I think that The Guardian’s enthusiasm–while infectious in that reserved, British-style–might actually be well-placed. The updates that have come through Twitter on newsworthy events like the Boston Bombing were timely and uncannily accurate; crowd sourcing huge public events like that give you a very accurate picture. Twitter as a communications platform is unrivaled for real-time information.

And before you laugh at the thought of news in 140-character bites, consider how that limitation would force you as a reporter to not embellish who, what, where, when. Why and how? Well, maybe that becomes a link to a more in-depth piece. But by its very limited nature, Twitter should remove the editorial from news reporting.

The problem is, and will always be, about the credibility of the news sources. But that is the problem with the MSM, too. CNN has crashed and burned so many times with bad reporting that few people turn to them any longer. The challenge with Twitter for news junkies is going to be the same challenge with using Yelp: who do you believe?

(Guardian UK)

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted by Tengrain May 6th, 2013

After that last post, we need something hopeful.

Toy Soldiers

Posted by Tengrain May 6th, 2013

It is alarming when the Tea Party merges with the NRA, but that is where we are today.

Uber-teabagger talk radio personality Adam Kokesh (not Koresh, but so close it made me look more than twice) is agitating for a peaceful, yet fully-armed and loaded, unpermitted march on Washington DC, where openly carrying guns is against the law:

On the morning of July 4, 2013, Independence Day, we will muster at the National Cemetery & at noon we will step off to march across the Memorial Bridge, down Independence Avenue, around the Capitol, the Supreme Court, & the White House, then peacefully return to Virginia across the Memorial Bridge. This is an act of civil disobedience, not a permitted event. We will march with rifles loaded & slung across our backs to put the government on notice that we will not be intimidated & cower in submission to tyranny. We are marching to mark the high water mark of government & to turn the tide. This will be a non-violent event, unless the government chooses to make it violent. Should we meet physical resistance, we will peacefully turn back, having shown that free people are not welcome in Washington, & returning with the resolve that the politicians, bureaucrats, & enforcers of the federal government will not be welcome in the land of the free.

There’s a remote chance that there will be violence as there has been from government before, and I think it should be clear that if anyone involved in this event is approached respectfully by agents of the state, they will submit to arrest without resisting. We are truly saying in the SUBTLEST way possible that we would rather die on our feet than live on our knees.

Now, it just might be me, but it seems to me when you are calling for an armed force of 10,000 to march on any capitol city, the point is not for demonstration but for confrontation. It’s absurd to think of it as any thing other than provocative.

I admire the Libertarian sensibility of being pro-peace, it is where that political philosophy’s better angels sit. This does not strike me as Libertarian, though. How does one marshall a group of undisciplined, alleged patriots bearing loaded arms into what by definition will be an illegal activity into the capitol? How will this work out without having someone want to be a martyr?

Kokesh tweets:

When the government comes to take your guns, you can shoot government agents, or submit to slavery.— Adam Kokesh (@adamkokesh) May 3, 2013

As of this post, Kokesh has rallied nearly 1,000 people to his cause, so perhaps he cannot pull it off, but he still has a lot of time to rally his troops.

I do not see a way that this will end well.

(Crooks and Liars, Think Progress)

Krugman says…

Posted by Tengrain May 6th, 2013

…that the Confidence Fairy is a con artist:

“… If you look at United States history since World War II, you find that of the 10 presidents who preceded Barack Obama, seven left office with a debt ratio lower than when they came in. Who were the three exceptions? Ronald Reagan and the two George Bushes. So debt increases that didn’t arise either from war or from extraordinary financial crisis are entirely associated with hard-line conservative governments.

And there’s a reason for that association: U.S. conservatives have long followed a strategy of “starving the beast,” slashing taxes so as to deprive the government of the revenue it needs to pay for popular programs.

The funny thing is that right now these same hard-line conservatives declare that we must not run deficits in times of economic crisis. Why? Because, they say, politicians won’t do the right thing and pay down the debt in good times. And who are these irresponsible politicians they’re talking about? Why, themselves.

To me, it sounds like a fiscal version of the classic definition of chutzpah — namely, killing your parents, then demanding sympathy because you’re an orphan. Here we have conservatives telling us that we must tighten our belts despite mass unemployment, because otherwise future conservatives will keep running deficits once times improve.

Put this way, of course, it sounds silly. But it isn’t; it’s tragic. The disastrous turn toward austerity has destroyed millions of jobs and ruined many lives. And it’s time for a U-turn.”

And his column appears the same day that The Guardian is reported a full-scale depression in part of the Eurozone and they will not be in recovery anytime soon, and the German founder of the Euro is calling for its breakup, according to The Telegraph.

News Briefs

Posted by Tengrain May 6th, 2013

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) Can it be that the Couch of Dumb is growing skeptical of BEHNGHAAAAAAAZI!?

  • Cut off - Gelatinous mass and head of Fox News Roger Ailes ordered Geraldo Rivera’s mic cut for defending Obama on BEHNGHAAAAAAAZI! (Raw Story)
  • Hacked! - The National Republican Congressional Committee’s (NRCC) website was hacked this weekend (The Hill), and as of this moment it still is displaying Viagra and Cialis ads top to bottom and left to right:
  • Win some, lose some - Notorious homophobe and famous unwed mother Maggie Gallagher’s National Organization for Marriage (NOM) says that Rhode Island legalizing same sex marriage is not that big a deal… and thanks for all the fish, to the chumps who donated time and money to NOM. NOM only spent 5 years and set up an office (the only state in which NOM established a regional office) (Pam’s House Blend)

Bad Ads – Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, cont.

Posted by Tengrain May 5th, 2013

Cigar is just a cigar

The afternoon quote

Posted by Tengrain May 5th, 2013

“We’re anti-squishy men, we like really hard men.”

–Republican strategist Mary Matalin, who is married to James Carville, talking about Ted Cruz.

Think I’m gonna barf now…

More, please

Posted by Tengrain May 5th, 2013

I love that Congressman Lynch will not let the GOP forget that they cut funding for the Embassies.

But isn’t it remarkable that Chris Wallace thinks that fact is getting off-track?

Bad Ads – Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, cont.

Posted by Tengrain May 4th, 2013

Cigar is just a cigar

Permission Slips

Posted by Tengrain May 4th, 2013

The other day when The Kenyan Usurper said:

“I cannot force Republicans to embrace … common-sense solutions,” Obama said at the press conference, referring specifically to budget gridlock. “I can urge them to. I can put pressure on them. I can rally the American people around those common-sense solutions. But ultimately, they, themselves, are going to have to say, we want to do the right thing. And I think there are members certainly in the Senate right now, and I suspect members in the House as well, who understand that deep down. But they’re worried about their politics. It’s tough. Their base thinks that compromise with me is somehow a betrayal. They’re worried about primaries. And I understand all that. And we’re going to try to do everything we can to create a permission structure for them to be able to do what’s going to be best for the country. But it’s going to take some time.”

…I have to admit I heard Permission Slips instead of Permission Structure, and I did laugh thinking that Obama finally has realized he is dealing with feral children in the GOP. “Good for him,” I thought.

It is really upon reflection of the latest screeds from the likes of known pop-culture fetishist MoDo and Dame Peggington Noonington of the Brooklynshire Nooningtons that I started to understand what he was really getting at, and it was not to get permission slips to take the pinheads bowling (to paraphrase Camper Van Beethoven).

The Republicans have admitted as much this week–as they have in the past–that their sole objective is to make our first black president a failure, and to that end they will oppose anything Anything ANYTHING he wants, whether or not they want it too. Nothing is too great or too small to deny him. Even being seen with him makes the Teabaggers suspect their representatives of collaborating with the enemy. Not to put too fine a spin on it, but it strikes me that their strategy is thinly veiled racism dressed up as nihilism.

I think what Obama’s Permission Structure means is that he will not publicly support or encourage anything (other than process?) so that the “you can’t make me” caucus feels empowered to actually do something.

badvertising-31

Now whether behind the scenes that means he will continue his so-called charm offensive to try to peel-off some of the grownups, I’m not sure. It might be like a marketing-advertising campaign where you get a few celebrity endorsements (to the degree that Wingnut politicians are celebrities, but work with me here) to act as influencers on the rest of the caucus, but Obama himself cannot be seen to be one of the influencers.

Wingnuttia used to accuse him of leading from behind, and this might actually be his strategy now, it’s hard to say. Which of course will make Nooner and MoDo go nonlinear, but that’s kinda fun.

(Correction: An earlier version of this post misdientified Take the Pinheads Bowling as being a Dead Kennedy’s song. We regret the error.)

(Hat tips: TPM, Digby, Ezra Klein)

It’s a two-fer!

Posted by Tengrain May 4th, 2013

The National Review Online’s (The most intellectually dishonest rest stop on the information highway) Jim Geraghty says that the Newtown families are political pawns just like the 9-11 widows.

You know, Jim, this is exactly what a democracy is about: these citizens are trying to make a difference, to change things that they experienced first hand. They are trying to make the world a better place and to ensure that what they suffered through, no one else should suffer through. And yes, they have an agenda, as do you, Jim. The difference is that their agenda is towards saving people and yours is towards saving gun manufacturers bottom line.

Wingnuttia is letting the spiders crawl out of the brainpans of their Orcs and up to the mics of all their media outlets. Anyway, nice way to insult two groups of people who have been publicly shattered by events beyond their control.