Mock, Paper, Scissors

California GOP Senate challenger Carly Fiorina was sidelined Tuesday from the campaign trail in the final week of a close race to be treated for an infection associated with her reconstructive surgery after breast cancer.

The former Hewlett-Packard Co. chief executive was admitted to a Los Angeles-area hospital, forcing her to cancel campaign appearances in Riverside and Coachella just as polls suggested she was starting to gain momentum in her race against Democratic Sen. Barbara Boxer.
According to Deborah Bowker, the campaign’s chief of staff, Fiorina was being treated with antibiotics.

I despise iCarly, I loathe her.

That said, I never wish ill on anyone (unlike Wingnuttia, the left does not pray for death for our foes, only for enlightenment), and so I hope she recovers so she can lose to Barbara Boxer with dignity.

We should have figured out iCarly and eMeg’s weakness earlier, but it explains a lot: they are mean drunks who cannot hold their liquor, or so says Internet story teller, Talking Points Memo:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Fire’em All Fiorina gets so hopped up on the juice that she does the annoying trill thing you find in every college bar in Tijiuana, and eMeg is just such a joiner once she gets partying, just giving into peer pressure from the other Mean Girls. I’m guessing that there must be some great video of these two broads hitting on the busboys and maybe flashing for beads at Senior Frogg’s.

…but I’m not sure exactly what.

Californians are left with a deeply unsatisfying choice for the U.S. Senate this year. The incumbent, Democrat Barbara Boxer, has failed to distinguish herself during her 18 years in office. There is no reason to believe that another six-year term would bring anything but more of the same uninspired representation. The challenger, Republican Carly Fiorina, has campaigned with a vigor and directness that suggests she could be effective in Washington – but for an agenda that would undermine this nation’s need to move forward on addressing serious issues such as climate change, health care and immigration.

It is extremely rare that this editorial page would offer no recommendation on any race, particularly one of this importance. This is one necessary exception.

The SF Chronicle has decided not to endorse anyone in California’s US Senate race.

While I am not neutral here, Boxer has always been a consistent liberal vote, and so I considered her to be the counter-balance to our very hawkish other senator, DiFi. On the worst issues they cancel each other, on the best issues they vote in tandem.

So when the Chron cannot make a decision, I honestly wonder… is this another sign of the Death of the Media? If the Chron is saying that they see no difference between Boxer and Fiorina — and how else do you interpret that editorial — here in the lovely liberal island of the SF Bay Area, then what does it say about the rise of false equivalencies in the media?

Hurd Resigns From H.P. After Harassment Inquiry

“As the investigation progressed, I realized there were instances in which I did not live up to the standards and principles of trust, respect and integrity that I have espoused at H.P

–Mark Hurd, CEO HP

Translation: I got caught.

Suggestion: Bring back Carly “Fire’em All” Fiorina. HP’s loss could be California’s gain!

(Hat tip: The Charm School Dropout)

The Cliffhanger episode.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Carly “Fire ‘em all” Fiorina went on live mic and dissed Barbara Boxer’s hair:

God what is that hair? So yesterday!

Fiorina is expected to comment today on Bab’s shoes.

San Jose Mercury News

Ho, ho, ho! Now she done stepped in it and tracked it in the igloo snow palace! Mooselini, the chillbilly grifter and half-time gubnor of Alaskastan used the awesome power of the Facebook (her favorite news source) to give an endorsement to the creator of the demonic sheep, failed HP CEO Carly Fire ‘Em All Fiorina in her quest to unseat Barbara Boxer as a US Senator.

Let’s shake it up in California!
I’d like to tell you about a Commonsense Conservative running for office in California this year. She grew up in a modest home with a school teacher dad, worked her way through several colleges, and then entered an arena where few women had tread. Through a combination of hard work, perseverance, and common sense, she proved the naysayers wrong to reach the top of her field, where she led with distinction – facing hard truths, making tough decisions, and showing real leadership through a rocky transition period. Where others had failed, her company had weathered the storm and settled on a stronger new foundation.

Her name is Carly Fiorina, and I’m proud to endorse her for U.S. Senate.

… California is still Reagan Country, and Carly promises her “Reagan Conservative” values will be put to good use for her state and for our great nation. Shaking it up in California is long overdue. Let’s help Carly do it!

It seems that the Cali Teabaggers, after hiding under tables when Mooselini threatened them with an earthquake from their fire-god Ronald Reagan, got themselves up, dusted off and fired back using the Facebook’s awesome fire-back technology! They prefer the long-shot teabagging candidate Chuck DeVore, and they told Mooselini so:

She supported the Wall Street bailouts.
She supported Cap and Trade.
She supported the confirmation of Sonia Sotomayer…. See More

And then there’s this…

Sarah! We love you, girl, for many reasons (faith, no-nonsense conservatism, etc.) but how did you come to this??? Who pressured you to back Fiorina? Just don’t get it, Sarah. Not at all. Chuck DeVore is the real deal. You’d know that if you did your homework.

…and let’s not forget this…

CARLY FIORINA IS PRO ISLAM!!! BAD BUSINESS Dealing where she sold to IRAN and bribed her way into bad business in MOSCOW and this is who you want as a conservative senator!!? Sarah Palin you have lost your mind along the way or maybe you didn’t! None the less you showed your colors and now you’ve lost your support with the tea party! Your a rino!

Ouch! That’s gonna leave a mark. So Mooselini did what she had to do, which was use the awesome update power of the Facebook to update her detractors!

Update: I’d like to add a few things about my Carly endorsement because some reaction right out of the chute calls for more information:

Carly has been endorsed by the National Right to Life, the California Pro-Life Council, and the Susan B. Anthony List. She is pro-life, pro-traditional marriage, pro-military, and pro-strict border security and against amnesty. She is against Obamacare and will vote to repeal it and prevent the government takeover of private companies and industries. Carly is also a strong supporter of the Second Amendment. Like me, she is a member of the NRA, has a 100% NRA rating, and she and her husband are gun owners. She is pro-energy development and believes as I do in an all-of-the-above approach to energy independence. She is against cap and tax. And most importantly, Carly is the only conservative in the race who can beat Barbara Boxer. That’s no RINO. That’s a winner.

Except these endorsements are not exactly true, either, but it’s Mooselini, so what did you expect? Accuracy? Truthiness?

Yup, Carly Fire ‘Em All Fiorina is about as popular as a sneeze while peeing with the Teabaggers, moderates, and liberals of California. Even Mooselini cannot changey-hopey that reality.

SFGate.com

The big news in California is that our newest GOP politician running for a state office has only voted once in his entire life! Now that’s taking the Ronnie Reagan “Government is the Problem” mantra to the far, far right.

No, this is not Carly Fiorina (she is rumored to have voted twice), and no this is not eMeg Whitman (she is rumored to have voted once per decade since reaching her age of majority), this is Damon Dunn, who is running for (wait for it…) California’s Secretary of State. The guy who certifies elections.

Damon Dunn, who declared his bid Wednesday to become California’s next secretary of state, seems to have the goods to be a campaign contender: He’s African American, a former NFL receiver with powerful Republican friends – including Condoleezza Rice – and he’s hired a top team of campaign strategists.

But the 33-year-old Republican, who says he’s wealthy, has a problem: Dunn, who has never run for public office and aims to become the state’s chief elections official, said he voted for the first – and only – time in his life in May 2009.

Mooselini is going to have to step up her game if she wants to hold the mavericky-est title.

In what has to be the most awesome announcement for throwing one’s hat into the political ring, Carly Fiorina, the notoriously failed HP CEO and infamous non-voting GOP advisor to Grandpa Walnuts failed presidential campaign, today announced that she is running for the US Senate, and specifically for Barbara Boxer’s senate seat. She also immediately tells us the reasons to note vote for her:

Admittedly, I have not always been engaged in the electoral process, and I should have been. For many years I felt disconnected from the decisions made in Washington and, to be honest, really didn’t think my vote mattered because I didn’t have a direct line of sight from my vote to a result.

This is a brave and bold step for a novice politician! Amongst her rallying cries:

• “Let’s put every government budget and every government bill on the Internet for every citizen to see.” — Um, Carly, we already do that: here’s the Federal Budget, here’s the Office of Management and Budget, here’s where you can find Congressional Bills, here’s where you can find out more about bills, and here’s the Library of Congress — lots’a stuff there. And yes, Carly, we have local equivalents here in California-stan. You might want to check these things out before you embarrass yourself again. Will you be calling for a scribe to bring papyrus and ink to write down your next thoughts?
• “Washington must show the discipline to cut spending and create policies that encourage and empower businesses to put people back to work.” — That’s terrific coming from you, the first CEO in HP corporate history to lay-off huge swaths of your workforce, following your ill-advised gobbling up of Compaq, and also lobbying Congress, incessantly, to allow more skilled workers from India and China to come to the US so you can have them as indentured servants at HP.
• “Rather than remaking the entire national health care system at the cost of higher taxes and exploding deficits, we should build on what works, such as expanding access to community clinics that will give those most in need appropriate care at a reasonable price.” — Wow, Carly, you with a platinum-plated healthcare as part of your CEO golden-parachute deal when you were kicked to the curb from HP, you are going to tell the rest of us to go the the Haight-Ashbury Free Clinic?

Carly, I am going to enjoy watching Barbara Boxer chew you up, spit you out, and floss afterwards.