Another World Leader Quits
Friday, February 11th, 2011
Where have I seen this story before…?
Iron Maiden to Meet Iron Lady, hilarity ensues
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
Mooselini is on her way to make sweet, sweet, photo ops with the UK’s fossilized remains from the ’80s, Lady Thatcher, who is the last known fascist to shake Saint Ronnie’s Dick, the sacred relic of the GOP.
We assume that the Wassila Chillbilly is onto some new grift, and her mark must be senile. Someone should tell Lizzy to keep the crown jewels locked up. And the Princes, too, if Bristol is along.
Of course Pipette will try to sneak into Harvey Nic’s for free couture, and little Algorythm (the likeable Palin) will probably be lost in Heathrow’s baggage claim.
(The UK Press is already having a field day with this.)
Take the Pinheads Bowling
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010Who knew that there was so much money in bowling that our favorite grifter Chillbilly from Alaskastan, Mooselini, would end up giving one of her $100,000 speeches for The Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America?
Sarah Palin is a great friend to the bowling industry and we’re so proud and honored to welcome her as our keynote speaker at International Bowl Expo 2010,” said Steven Johnson, executive director of the BPAA. “Regardless of your political affiliation, Ms. Palin is a force in American politics and culture. Her presence underscores the impact and importance of bowling, one of our country’s leading national pastimes and a growing $10 billion industry.”
Which of course leads me to this song…
Skinheads, pinheads, eh, it works.
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Wagonjak)
Levi Johnston’s Reality Show
Tuesday, March 30th, 2010
The anti-Mooselini is going head-to-head with the Wasilla Chillbillies.
While I think I now know more than I ever wanted to know about all the grifters in Alaskastan, I gotta admit that I am on team Levi. He’s doing us all a public service just shadowing them and getting under their skin. Yeah, it might be self-serving, too, but I’m giving him props for keeping up a good fight.
Presented without comment
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
Mooselini claims that she did not know that Levi and Bristol were having sex.
Get thee hence, Scissorheads!
Sunday, November 8th, 2009Our good friend and allie, Zencomix, has a series going that just tickles the funny bone, or in John Bolton’s case the other bone. And it is clearly Mooselini’s rutting season. And if that doesn’t make you click the link, nothing will.
Maggie bleats on-and-on on gay marriage (again)
Thursday, August 20th, 2009
Poor Maggie Gallagher. The homophobic Xristian and formerly unwed mother, Chimpy’s notoriously ethics-challenged hack-for-hire and the nominal president of NOM (AKA the Pity Party), she who fetishized failed beauty queen and topless Xristian-lite-porn model sensation, Carrie Prejean, into early retirement, feels that she was almost trapped, Trapped, TRAPPED into what Mooselini calls Gotcha Journalism. But using her slow wits, she managed to decline her tormentor’s questions, but then blogged her answer, anyway, at the Blog at Poo Corner, the most intellectually dishonest spot on the innernets, where she knew that no one would question her.
Steve Chapman, of the Chicago Tribune asks a simple question of the foes of marriage equality, make a prediction about what will happen in states that allow same-sex marriage — “…to make simple, concrete predictions about measurable social indicators — marriage rates, divorce, out-of-wedlock births, child poverty, you name it.”
Now, considering that is a pretty open-ended question, and is exactly the sort of soapbox that Gallagher usually gets on and brays endlessly about how marriage equality is the end of the world as we know it, it seems surprising that she would “politely decline” to answer. (And in fairness to her colleagues in hatred, none of them responded…)
But then, here’s her answer in her post at the Blog at Poo Corner:
In gay-marriage states, a large minority people committed to traditional notions of marriage will feel afraid to speak up for their views, lest they be punished in some way.
Public schools will teach about gay marriage.
Parents in public schools who object to gay marriage being taught to their children will be told with increasing public firmness that they don’t belong in public schools and their views will not be accomodated [sic] in any way.
Religous [sic] institutions will face new legal threats (especially soft litigation threats) that will cause some to close, or modify their missions, to avoid clashing with the government’s official views of marriage (which will include the view that opponents are akin to racists for failing to see same-sex couples as married).
Support for the idea “the ideal for a child is a married mother and father” will decline.
Aside from the typos, Maggies answer, oddly, is not the sort of measurable societal indicators that Chapman was asking for. Those are the scare tactic responses, which in all honesty are boiled down to this: if you allow marriage equality, then we who want to discriminate against gays and lesbians will have no where to go.
See? I told you the Blog at Poo corner is the most intellectually dishonest spot on the innernets.
This just in: Mooselini is a fame whore
Friday, July 10th, 2009
Poor, monosyllabic Levi Johnston, turkey baster to noted Abstinence Educator and un-wed single mother Bristol Palin, said that he thinks Mooselini quit being the Grifter Princess of Alaskastan so she could cash in on some of the offers that she is getting.
She had talked about how nice it would be to take some of this money people had been offering us and you know just run with it.
But of course, this being the Palin franchise, Mooselini’s hired mouth and fellow basketball metaphor coach, Meghan Stapleton, had to bring the guns to the press to denounce the young and fertile hocky playing stud with thighs like pistons that could go all night:
It is interesting to learn Levi is working on a piece of fiction while honing his acting skills,” Palin family spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton said in an e-mail to The Associated Press.
You know it won’t end there. Stay tuned for more volleys back and forth.
News update from Levi Johnston!
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
CNN
The seed donor of the youngest Palin (Tripp), Levi Johnston, appeared on the Living Museum of 80s Power Suspenders and cleared up so many mysteries around, well, stuff.
King: When it began to be sexual and romantic [with Bristol], did the governor know?
Johnston: You know, I’m not sure. That’s a question I can’t really answer. But, you know, I think…
King: What do you think?
Johnston: You know, she says she [didn't] know. But I don’t know. I think she’d probably know, you know?
Levi is said to be shopping around a tell-all book. With insight like this, it is sure to be a best seller!
From the Crayon-stained wretches department
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
Levi Johnston shopping tell-all to finance custody battle for son! – The National Enquirer
Well, this ought to make Queen Mooselini of Alaskastan go nonlinear.
UPDATE: The Living Museum of 80s Power Suspenders will have Levi and his sister, Trashella, as special guests tonight. Mt. Redoubt is not the only red-hot-magna filled thing that is gonna blow in Alaskastan!
“Everyone says I did it to pander to you…”
Friday, April 17th, 2009
AP
“…you betcha, I kept the little waterhead!”
Mooselini considered abortion…
Friday, April 17th, 2009The big story in Mooselini-land is how she chose life over abortion when she discovered that she was pregnant with a Down’s Syndrome child. As she is speaking to a Bible-thumping crowd, the Vanderburgh County Right-to-Life banquet — the country’s largest such annual event — it might be cynical to say that speaking about little Trigg (the most likable of the Palins) as a pro-life decision was a very calculated moment of candor.
That said, it does put a whole different light on the strange story of his arrival – how she never showed, the foot race she competed in, the long circuitous route she took to get from Texas to a remote hospital that did not have all the state of the art facilities that would have been available to her in a bigger city — after her water broke. A suspicious person might say that she was trying to have a miscarriage of a Down’s Syndrome baby rather than a healthy birth.
God works in mysterious and wonderful ways.
I’m actually outraged (but not surprised) that the opportunist that is Mooselini would now start to use Trigg as another pawn in her sick ambition. I know he might not ever understand it, but imagine what it would be like to grow up knowing your mother wanted to abort you. And that she used you as a prop to get the Xraxies to support her. Mooselini is really a piece of work.
Mooselini takes aim!
Friday, April 17th, 2009
When we last checked in with our pal, the gun-toting, right wing Xristian Crazy, and grandmother of the little bastard Spatula, former Miss Wasilla and alleged Governor of The Great White North, Mooselini was championing Wayne Anthony Ross for her Attorney General, a neanderthal of a man whose initials are WAR (which, by the way, are also on his vanity Alaska license plates), who is very fond of rape jokes (Mooselini must have a thing for rape jokes, Grandpa Walnuts was very famous for telling one involving a gorilla. But I digress…)
Anyway, to make a short story long, the Alaska legislature has booted the nominee to the curb, a first in its history. Mooselini, one who will always go down fighting, and still smarting from losing the presidency vice presidency and watching 2012 slip away between her claws released the following:
I think there was a lot of politics of personal destruction involved in this and that’s a shame. … I am surprised that, for some of what I believe are personal petty political reasons, some lawmakers chose not to support a candidate who fit that bill
– Mooselini
Yes, Mooselini, rape and violence against women are petty. That will get you back on the road to the White House.
